This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If I wanted to tune up my ass like an instrument so my farts sounded beautiful I'd probably pump propane up in there.

That'll get my acetoned.

An illustrious Count, Wictor Oblodowsky, agrees to conduct Beethoven's 9th Symphony in a Baltimore gym.

He's hesitant at first. He'd only been to America once before, and it was a favor for a friend. The oboist in his orchestra kindly loaned him the first season of The Wire, but the Count never watched it, as he'd never gotten around to buying a DVD player.

After an uneventful flight and some t...

I had a chance to buy an old strip mall before it was torn down.

I didn't think it was a good investment at the time. The buildings were old and run down. Parking lot was cracked and overgrown with weeds.

It wasn't always like that. It had some nice local shops and entertainment when I was growing up.

I was reminiscing about it the other day as I ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Christmas cake recipe

**Required Ingredients:**

* 1 cup of water

* 1 cup of sugar

* 4 large brown eggs

* 2 cups of dried fruit

* 1 teaspoon of salt

* 1 cup of brown sugar

* Lemon juice

* Nuts

* 1 bottle of whiskey

**Preparation:**

Sample the whi...

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