Throw Up Jokes - 19 Hilarious Throw Up Jokes

If there's one thing that makes me throw up

It's a dart board on a ceiling

Patient: Doc, every time I open my eyes, I have this weird urge to throw up!

Doctor: Wow. This is the worst case of see sickness I have ever encountered.

What makes Mewtwo throw up?

The Sound of Mew Sick.

If every time I need to throw up I sprint to the toilet...

...at what point does it become a running gag?

Why did the chess master throw up on the boat?

He got c6.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A cucumber, a pickle, and a penis were talking about how horrible their lives are...

The cucumber says, "my life sucks. I get left in the garden until I'm huge. Then cut into pieces and put in a salad." The pickle says, "That's nothing! I get to sit in a jar with vinegar till I get swollen. Then I get eaten." The penis laughs and says, " When I get huge, they throw a bag over my hea...

Why did the pregnant woman throw up at the funeral?

Mourning sickness.

Every time some one around me makes a joke I want to throw up,

I guess you could call it a gag reflex

Every morning when I jog I reflect on my life and I want to throw up.

It's a running gag.

I love to watch my guests throw up.

So I always put the dartboard on the ceiling.

My dog ate some scrabble pieces and now he looks like he's about to throw up

This could spell trouble

A little girl and her mother are at Church...

when the little girl starts to feel sick. Her mother tells her to go throw up in the bushes behind the church.

When the little girl returns, her mother asks her if she threw up. "Yes," the girl says. "But I didn't have to go all the way around the back. There was a box near the front door tha...

No matter what, there is one sure way to make me throw up...

by playing darts towards the ceiling.

One of my friends is a nurse who used to throw up everytime someone with no feet came into her ward.

Turns out she was lack toes intolerant.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One day a guy dies...

...and finds himself in hell. Walking around, he runs into the devil.

Devil: Why are you so sad?

Guy: Why do you think? I'm in hell.

Devil: Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinkin' man?

Guy: Sure, I love to drink.

Devil: Well ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A drunk man sitting at a bar starts to dry heave (long)

The bar patrons instinctively moved away from him, and sure enough, he vomits all over the bar and himself. The man immediately starts sobbing loudly.

The bartender approaches slowly to address the mess. He says to the man "Hey, man. Don't worry about it. You're not the first guy to throw up ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A couple moves in together and brings their pets. The man says “before you moved in, my cat used to throw up and shit everywhere, now when I come home the floors are spotless.”

The woman responded “yeah it’s weird, my dog used to whine because he was hungry all the time but not since we moved in.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy walks into a bar without money…

He asks the bartender if he can get a free drink. The bartender kindly replies there are no free drinks on offer, but he could actually try the challenge and win free drinks for the rest of his life…

Naturally, the guy is interested; ‘So tell me about that challenge!’

The bartender exp...

A guy walks into a bar

A guy walks into his favorite neighborhood bar and is shocked to see that all the dart boards are now hanging from the ceiling. "This is ridiculous!" he complains to the bartender. "It really makes me want to throw up."

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