This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A lawyer dies and goes to hell...

The devil pulls up his file on his computer and sighs “You’ve been a naughty boy haven’t you? Extortion, gambling, sex with prostitutes and even murder!”

The lawyer hangs his head in shame and the devil pats him lightly on the shoulder.

“I’m a fair guy, what I’m going to do is let you...

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A man wakes up late and has to speed to get to work on time...

He's flying down the highway, doing 90 in a 60. He approaches an overpass and sees a cop above running radar. The man thinks to.m himself, "shit".

Sure enough, lights and sirens and the cop is pulling him over. He officer approaches the car and asks the man, "Sir, do you know why I pulled yo...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

After death a man is presented to St. Peter in front of the heavenly gates

St. Peter checks his name and tells him that he has sinned all his life so he’ll go to hell. ‘But’, he continues, ‘since you’ve once fed a homeless man you’ll be able to choose from many hells where you want to spend the eternity.’


Off he is whisked to different hells to choose from. He s...

Are you gonna eat that?

A hungry man with a hankerin' for chili sits down at a restaurant.
The waitress approaches to take his order and, of course, he orders a bowl of chili.
She replies, "Sorry sir. The gentleman seated at the table next to you got the last bowl."
The hungry man looks over and sees that th...

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Three roaches and a woman.

These three roaches all live among this dirty woman. Every now and then, the three roaches get together and shoot the shit. This time they convened at her belly button. Sitting around the navel like a campfire the roaches begin to speak.

The first roach says,
"God my home sucks. I live u...

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