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One of the British national daily newspapers was asking readers: "What it means to be British?".

Some of the emails were hilarious but this one from a Swiss was a winner.
 
"Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for
a Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a
Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on a Swedish furniture and watch
Americ...

Where does Kylie Minogue get her Kebabs from?

Jason's Donner van

What do you call a kebab prepared by a librarian?

A shush-kebab

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Sex is like Kebab. When it's good, it's really good...

...and when I'm drunk I'm willing to pay for it in a roadside turkish buffet.

What do you call a shish-kebab at a fancy restaurant?

A Shish-ke-Robert

What did the Dalai Lama say to the guy in the kebab shop?

"Make me one with everything."

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Sikh Joke

Each Friday night after work, Sardar would fire up his outdoor grill and cook a tandoori chicken and some meat kebabs. But, all of his neighbors were strict Catholics ... and since it was Lent, they were forbidden from eating chicken and meat on a Friday.

The delicious aroma from the grilled ...

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I tried sharing a Kebab with a homeless person

He told me to fuck off and buy my own.

You are what you eat

So if the cat ate chicken then my cat meat kebab is a normal chicken kebab

What do you call an MMA fighter in a kebab shop?

Doner McGregor

I made so many kebabs

It was a shish load

A tasty dish made by Voldemort

Avada - KEBAB- ra...

What’s a librarians favorite thing to bring to a BBQ?

A shush kebab

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Same Lunch Everyday

A Mexican, Armenian, Korean, and Redneck are construction workers. Every day, there is a bell that sounds at 12:00 PM notifying the workers that it is their lunch break. The workers go on with their day and as soon as the bell rings, they grab their lunches and sit together to eat.


The ...

Found my first grey pubic hair last night.

Just a shame it was in a kebab.

my gf always worries that I will cheat on her if I am on a night out

I reassure her "why would I have a kebab when I have the best steak ever at home"

But when you are drunk those greasy kebabs sure are tasty

What food did people in The Quiet Place eat?

Shush kebabs

How do Turkish Germans curse?

DÖNNER VETTER KEBAB!!

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A woman has 12 children throughout her life

For her 60th birthday her kids all chip in some money for her to choose a present. She decides to get her vagina tidied up, as it now resembles a badly packed kebab.
Waking up after the operation, she sees 3 cards on the windowsill.
She recognises the handwriting on the first as her sister's...

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I got thrown out of math class today.

The teacher asked me "If I gave you $20 and you gave $5 to Katie, $5 to Claire and $5 to Laura, what would you have?"

Apparently, 3 blowjobs and enough left for a kebab wasn't the answer...


EDIT: Holy, this blew up fast. Kind of like when the teacher gives me $20, but less sticky, ...

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Following England in the world cup...

Every time England play I try to get in the spirit so when they played Tunisia I had a kebab, when they played Panama I treated myself to a cigar, when they played Belgium I pulled out the chocolates, can’t fucking wait for this Colombia game!

What did the exasperated man serve at his barbecue?

Sheesh kebabs

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Wife said that I only ever want sex...

*My wife said that I only ever want sex with her when I'm drunk.*


*That's not true. I usually want a kebab as well.*

Constantine XI : Ships can't walk on lands

Mehmed II the Conqueror: Hold my Kebab

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I was talking to a fat lass with huge tits last night.

"My eyes are up here..." I said, as she looked down at the kebab in my hand

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Insults

She had a fanny like a stab wound in a gorilla's back

Look's like she's been dunking for apples in a chip pan

Had more hands up her than Sooty!

She's got a face like a dog lickin piss off a nettle

It looks like she's been set on fire and put out with a golf shoe!

S...

What do you call a Turkish baby?

Kebab-y

What do you say to a Turkish baby that won’t be quiet?

Shish Kebab-y

What do you call a really, really quiet piece of meat?

A shh-kebab.
---
I love you too, fellas.

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The Shah and the Vizier

Once upon a time there was a Shah and his vizier. The Shah didn't like his vizier as the vizier was a smart-ass and the Shah was looking for a way to kick him out of his palace. One day he told the vizier to make him a kebab with male ants.

"I want to know for certain that those ants are male...

Turkish fundraising dinner

Donor Kebab

Secret Recipe

Mishu and Yanku both operate Romanian restaurants opposite one another. Yanku is doing very well, but Mishu is doing very poorly.

One day, Mishu mans up and walk over to Yanku, asking him "Tell me, my friend, how come you are so successful? What's the secret recipe you use for the Romanian Ke...

I don't understand how Authorities can tell us that we "Can't Negotiate with terrorists..."

I just got a free can of Coke with my kebab...

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