Star Sign Jokes - 15 Hilarious Star Sign Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My aunt's star sign was cancer, pretty ironic how she died

She was eaten by a giant crab

My friend, who's star sign was cancer, died very ironically.

He was mauled by a giant crab.

I went to the doctor and, he said, "Pick a star sign?" Any star sign?

I said, "Capricorn."

He said, "No, you've got Cancer."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Karen goes to the doctor not feeling well. Karen: Doctor, I’ve not been feeling well lately. .

Doctor: I’ve looked at your lab reports and I’m afraid I have some bad news.

Karen: Don’t give me this lab nonsense. I believe in homeopathic medicine, faith-based approaches and healing crystals. All my life, they have never failed me. Now will you do things my way or do I need to see the ma...

What star sign are you?

"I'm a contrarian."

"That's not a star sign."

"YES IT IS!"

I think I need a new doctor. Mine can't even get my star sign right.

I'm a sagittarius, but he said I have cancer

Star Signs

The Doctor walks in,

Patient: Hey doc, whats the news?

Doctor: I was wondering what's your star sign?

Patient: Cancer, why?

Doctor: Funny that.

I walked into the Doctors Surgery and he said to me, "Pick a star sign, any star sign.

" "Capricorn." I replied.

"Yeah, right," he tutted. "As if I'm about to tell you that you have Capricorn. Try again."

A man stands over the coffin of his deceased wife. "Her star sign was cancer you know" he says. " I guess it's ironic..."

"That she was killed by a giant crab."

A patient walks into a doctor’s office. The doctor says “pick a star sign, any star sign” so the patient goes “Capricorn”...

The doctor goes “nahh you’ve got cancer”

And now, two guys bonding over their star sign as well as a short summary of The Fault in out Stars

"Cancer?"

"Cancer."

An anti-vaxxer got a call from the Doctor.

The doctor said "Your test results are in and I'm afraid it's not good news."

"Nonsense," replied the anti-vaxxer. "I don't trust your pharmaceutical industry. My entire life I relied on homeopathic remedies instead of medication, and the only diagnosis I accept is based on my horoscope."
...

I went to the pet shop to buy a new fish

“Aquarium?” The staff member asked

“I don’t care what star sign it is” I said

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Ofcourse I believe in astrology....

I am just like my star sign. A virgin.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A handsome man fears he may have an awful terminal illness.

Thinking that if he did indeed have cancer as he suspected, and not really knowing much about how treatment worked, he thought that because he surely would never get laid again after he lost all of his beautiful hair that it would be best if he go to the doctors in one week.

So the man sp...

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