Historians have proved that people from every zodiac sign survived the Sinking of the Titanic

Except Leo

My wife left me because of my constant zodiac puns.

It finally Taurus apart.

I hate people who defend their laziness with their zodiac sign!

I mean, I invited my friend into an important friend reunion but she didnt go!

I asked her what was wrong she said' "Oh, I have cancer"

Yeah im an Aries! So what?

My Zodiac star sign

I went to the doctors office the other day, he said “Pick a star sign, any star sign.” I said “Pisces.” He said “Nah you got Cancer.”

By asking 4 questions i can tell what your zodiac sign is

1. What's your favorite color?

2. What's your mother's maiden name?

3. What's your social security number?

4. What's your birthday?

Every Zodiac sign has a haircut . . .

Except Cancer (in honor of my dad who lost his hair to chemo!)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My Girlfriend believes in Zodiac signs

So I am fucking stupid

Started smoking for this girl who told me she was into people with cancer

Turns out she was talking about zodiacs. Anyway I've got three months to live.

All zodiac signs have hairstyles...

Except Cancer

How come they never caught the Zodiac Killer?

Let's face it, all the signs were there.....

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Zodiac signs can tell a lot about your personality.

For instance, if you believe in them, you're an utter cunt.

Imagine believing at zodiac signs and horoscopes

That's such a Cancer thing to do.

My friend had cancer for her zodiac symbol, its ironic how she died.

She was eaten by a giant crab.

Ugh, my Doctor got my zodiac sign wrong!

I’m a Capricorn, not Cancer!

A man went to a doctor for his biopsy report

Doctor:Pick a zodiac star sign.

Man: aries

Doctor: wrong, it's cancer.

Did you hear about the Zodiac killer?

I heard he cut his victims in to little pisces!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

According to the Chinese Zodiac it is the Year of the Cock.

So it makes perfect sense that Donald Trump is president.

The only two things that Zodiac signs get right:

1.Some people are twins

2.Some people are cancer

-What's your zodiac sign?

-Tyrannosaurus.
-But that's not even a real sign.
-None of the zodiac signs are real.

[NSFW]- What is David Bowie's zodiac sign?

Cancer.

What were the Zodiac Killer's Plans for Vacation?

To take a Cruz.

We lost a planet but gained a zodiac sign.

I guess that's a good constellation prize.

-So doctor, tell me what is it..

- Cancer

-No, no... why me, I’m gonna die, my family, my kids, Why God, why...

- I’m sorry , I thought you were asking my zodiac sign. You don’t have cancer.

-Thank you God. What a relief. Tell me doctor, what do I have?

-AIDS.

I just wanted to use the last 1% of my battery to tell you

The Zodiac Killer is Te

Have you heard about the new Web MD zodiac?

All the signs say Cancer.

A man is in love with a woman who shares the same birthday with him (July 22)

He wanted so badly to impress this woman. But they had nothing in common except for the zodiac sign that they shared, which oddly enough she was named after.

He smoked cigarettes to look cool. Got a job in a nuclear power-plant to sound more interesting. Refused to wear sunscreen on a sunny d...

I hope all girls have cancer

As their zodiac sign because they’d be a perfect match for me.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.