Ram Jokes - 71 Hilarious Ram Jokes

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Went for a walk with my new girlfriend

and we saw dogs mating.

She said: "How does the male know when the female is ready for sex?"

I replied: "He can smell she is ready . That's how nature works."

We then walked past a sheep field and the ram was mating the ewe.

Again my girlfriend asked: "How does the ram kn...

I found my boomerang with RAM glued to it

Man that thing brought back memories

How do you eat a ram?

One byte at a time

Super Bowl Halftime

At halftime it's Maroon 5 Patriots 3 Rams 0

My friend didn't get my RAM joke.

DIMM wit.

Rammy the Ram got his first book published

He rushed down to his local library to see if they would stock it.

Unfortunately they wouldn’t. Their rules were quite clear on that matter.
The librarian told him directly: “We are sorry, but we can’t allow rampages in our library.”

What did the ram say to Santa?

All I want for Christmas is ewe.

How much RAM does a great white shark have?

A killer-bite.

I lost my computer RAM.

I guess I will have to take a trip down memory lane to buy a new one.

A Michael Sam joke

After being drafted by the St. Louis Rams, Michael Sam celebrated by kissing his boyfriend. This is historic because it’s the first time anyone has celebrated being drafted by the St. Louis Rams. - Conan O'brien

battering rams...

were a real breakthrough at the time

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I told a girl my dick was like a computer

She asked if that was because it had loads of RAM and a big hard drive.

Oh, the surprise she got when she found out it was microsoft and full of viruses.

Babri Masjid or Ram Mandir?

An amicable solution is to build a hospital over the site

for erectile dysfunction.

Millions of Muslims and Hindus will benefit equally.

What's the ram's favorite letter?

Double ewe.

What did the driver say after ramming into baby on board

Don't worry, the baby is no longer on board.

I couldn't figure out why a male sheep is called a Ram...

Then it hit me.

Scientists were studying rams

They had three rams in their lab. Each ram had a leather collar, and attached to each collar was a tag identifying them as A, B and C.

One of the researchers brought a large gourd from the supply closet and placed it on the head of Ram A. Nothing happened. After five minutes he removed the g...

Wife Missing?

The first thing a grieving husband should do is CALL THE COPS!

Husband: "My wife of 15 years is missing. She went shopping yesterday and has not come home!"
Sheriff: "Height?"
Husband: "I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall."
Sheriff: "Weight?"
Husband: "Don't kn...

I keep ramming people off the road when I want to pass them.

I can't help it. It's a Forza habit.

10 years ago to this day, I cut myself with a stick of RAM

I guess you could say I have a pretty sharp memory.

What brand of RAM do you buy if you want your computer to go faster?

Dodge.

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What does a ram do with his free time?

Fuck ewe.

Why does Putin's laptop have 1 TB of RAM?

KGB

A Chevy Silverado, a GMC Sierra, a Ford F150, a RAM 1500, and a Toyota Tacoma are driving in convoy

Best pickup line ever

I don't understand how DDR RAM works at all

How do they get their hooves to work the arrow keys?

Why did the ram go off the cliff?

Because he didn’t see the ewe turn

What do you call fortifications made to strengthen a battering ram?

Ramifications.

I bought some RGB laptop RAM but it was defective.

It was so dimm.

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What's the difference between a sheep and a ram?

I can't sheep my dick into ur ass

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Little johnny wakes up one night hearing noises from his parents bedroom...

He opens the door to his parents room and sees mom, handcuffed to the bed's headboard, dad ramming her from behind. Johnny screams. Dad turns to looks at him, laughs and gives mom a slap on the bum for good measure. Johnny runs away, screaming. Once dad has finished mom off, he uncuffs her. She imme...

My home was wrecked by a tornado taking my PC with it, I found the thing covered in glass and everything was unsalvageable aside from a stick of ram

At least I have the memory of it

What's the difference between a dollar and the Los Angeles Rams?

A dollar is good for 4 quarters.

Was nice to see the Rams and Patriots

make it to the Maroon 5 concert last night

Two well dressed lawyers, Milind Kale and Ram Jethmalani went to an expensive restaurant...

They ordered 2 coffees
and then took out sandwiches from their briefcases to eat...

Waitress: Sorry Sir !!! But you can't eat your OWN food here... Its against the rules ...

The lawyers quietly looked at each other and
EXCHANGED their sandwiches & continued their meals!
<...

Why can't you use RAM as a flashlight?

It's SO-DIMM.

My memory is like a stick of RAM

It forgets everything by the time I go to sleep

What did the RAM stick say to the politician?

I'm PC2!

I always have the hardest time seeing laptop RAM

It's just that the sticks are sodimm.

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Three Soviet generals wager who has bravest soldiers

Soviet army organizes a large military exercise. Three high-ranking officers - an army general, a navy admiral and an air force commander watch the war games from an observation bunker, drink vodka and argue who has bravest men. They can not reach a conclusion, so the army general calls his troops a...

Found out about a mobile phone who got T-boned on the highway with a RAM.

The impact of the crash was so bad that he lost his memory.

I guess the Rams ended the Super Bowl the way they ended the season.

13-3.

What did the ram say as his lover lay on her deathbed?

There will never be another ewe.

Some Muslim extremists just rammed a boat into the Thames Barrier.

Experts believe it's the start of Ramadam.

What does a car do when a ram is running towards it?

Dodge.

I chose not to put my own picture up on my dating profile, just a picture of my pickup. But that's okay...

... because she'd just put a picture of her dog. I sent her a message, something almost-clever like "your dog can ride in my pickup any time," and she responded.

We clicked pretty quickly, and started chatting regularly. Every day, sometimes throughout the day. Slowly we learned more about...

TIFU by accidentally ramming my toe against a cigarette urn while trying to throw my cigarette away.

Oops, wrong stub.

what did the ram say when his mom found drugs in his dresser drawer?

I learned it from watching ewe!

Smokey the Bear was relaxing in his new house.

He'd just moved to the neighborhood, and was enjoying retirement after years of working for the U.S. Forest Service. He was sitting in his favorite easy chair, reading a particularly engaging book, when the doorbell rang.

Smokey sighed, set the book face down (his sister was always so mad at ...

I was trying to find some spare RAM sticks in our stock room but I couldn't see any...

Because it was SO-DIMM.

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(Long) A guy and his monkey walk into a bar

The monkey jumps on the counter and gobbles up a bowl of peanuts.

The bartender asked the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just did?"

The guy replied, "Yeah, he does that all the time. He's always hungry. I'll pay for the peanuts", and hands the bartender a buck. The bartender clinks...

Why is it safest to hire female sheep as computer programmers?

They always have multiple baaa-cups.

Joke translated to English

Once upon a time, there was a young Indian man named Ram who fell in love with a beautiful white woman. Although his parents did not approve, he stubbornly married the woman and brought her to live in the home he shared with his parents.

The next day, Ram's mother, named Sita, made breakfast...

Trump says: "The Continental Army… manned the air, it rammed the ramparts, it took over airports, it did everything it had to do." What, you don't believe they took over airports?

Surely you've heard of the Jefferson Airplane?

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Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman walk into a bar

The Englishman walks into the bar, approaches the horrendous looking barmaid and asks for something to eat. The Barmaid demands sex for food.

The Englishman declines quickly exiting the bar.

The Irishman then walks into the bar and approaches the same horrendous looking barmaid. The ba...

A few days ago Apple introduced the new Mac Pro with up to 1.5 TB of RAM...

I can finally use Google Chrome.

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a gorgeous blond jumped out of her Porsche at an intersection and began shouting at me as our cars had touched ...

"Just ram me up the ass why don't you" she shouted...

...And that Your Honour is where the confusion began. ..

I wish the auto manufacturers would make up their minds.

I was behind a van that said Dodge on the back of it then a truck that was marked Ram. What do they want us to do? Avoid them or hit them?

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Two DEA officers were called into their superiors office after an operation didn’t quite go to plan.

Superior: “Gentlemen, do you want to debrief me on this latest raid?”

Officer Jones: “well, sir, as I recall it, first of all I used the battering ram to flatten the door. Then, within a few seconds of getting inside, I found at least 25 ounces of coke and weed all over the coffee table” ...

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I was driving down I-35 last Tuesday, not really paying attention, and I failed to notice that traffic had stopped. I slammed the brakes, but it was too late and I rear ended the vehicle in front of me.

A young woman stepped out of the car , scowled at me , and yelled "Well, ram me in the ass as hard as you can, why don't you?"

Later, I told the judge that this was the precise moment that the miscommunication began.

Why was the sheep farmer confused when IT came to fix his computer?

He kept telling him he had bad RAM.

A man asks his friend how to cook a gourmet meal as his family was coming over.

His American friend asks him to get three rams (A , B, C) and then put a gourd on each of the rams head in the kitchen and then see what happens .

He puts a gourd on ram A and nothing happens.

He puts a gourd on ram B and nothing happens.

As he puts the gourd on the third ram...

What's the difference between Gordon Ramsay's favorite dish and a slow running computer?

One is a Rack of Lamb, the other is a Lack of RAM

A man is walking home one foggy night,

When behind him he hears:

Thump...

Thump...

Thump...

He looks back, but the source of the sound is obscured by the fog. He continues walking.

Thump...

Thump...

Thump...

He begins to walk faster, and looks back over his shoulder as he hurries a...

Abraham asked Issac to upgrade his home computer

Issac reviewed the system and stated "Forgive me, Father but the system just doesn't seem to have enough memory."

and Abraham said "My son, God will provide the RAM."

How do you think the unthinkable?

You ram an itheberg.

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A man walked into his doctor's office...

...complaining that he thinks he might have a tapeworm. The doctor made a physical examination and listened to the symptoms, and concurred with the self-diagnosis.

"I want you to come back tomorrow to start treatment. And bring an apple, and an orange and a Mars Bar" said the doctor.

D...

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The Bravest and Fiercest

The king was getting old and did not trust his sons to rule his kingdom after his passing. He decided that he must find a husband for his daughter. This man, who would one day take the throne, had to be the bravest and fiercest warrior in all the land.

The king devised a test. his engineers ...

Mary had a little sheep, and with that sheep, she did sleep.

The sheep turned out to be a ram. Mary had a little lamb.

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Some great one-liners.

My daughter asked me for a pet spider for her birthday, so I went to our local pet shop and they were £70!!! Blow this, I thought. I can get one cheaper off the web.

I was at an ATM yesterday when a little old lady asked if I could check her balance, so I pushed her over.

My neigh...

I put horns on my laptop

to improve it's RAM capability

After his death, Steve Jobs wakes up in Hell and asks Satan, "Why am I here?"... (It's not in bad taste.)

After his death, Steve Jobs wakes up in Hell and asks Satan, "Why am I here? Certainly I've changed the world for the better through an innovative technological revolution."

"That's quite true," says Satan. "You belong 'upstairs' and I'm only borrowing you for a few days. But see, whenever ne...

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