Like most people born under the sign of Aries...

.. I don't believe in astrology.

[OC] Horoscope Compatibility

As per your zodiac sign, the zodiac sign you are likely to be compatible with, is as follows :

Aries - Cancer

Taurus - Cancer

Gemini - Cancer

Cancer - Cancer

Leo - Cancer

Virgo - Cancer

Libra - Cancer

Scorpio - Cancer

Sagittarius - Cance...

Hey girl, I'm an Aries...

Wanna get rammed?

A man went to a doctor for his biopsy report

Doctor:Pick a zodiac star sign.

Man: aries

Doctor: wrong, it's cancer.

I beat Cancer today!

It's okay though I told her I was an Aries.

I hate people who defend their laziness with their zodiac sign!

I mean, I invited my friend into an important friend reunion but she didnt go!

I asked her what was wrong she said' "Oh, I have cancer"

Yeah im an Aries! So what?

Met a girl that's into horoscopes

Her : I'm a Sagittarius, bet that already tells you a lot about me.

Me : So according to this website, would you say you're a curious, energetic person that wants to be a part of things rather than be a spectator?

Her : Mmmhm that's me to a T

Me : Congratulations you're an Arie...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My Job Application for McDonalds

NAME: Kicky Pie   

SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a yea...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Her

Her: what's my sign again?

Me: *struggling to remember* what's the part of newspapers where they talk about dead people?

Her: obituaries?

Me: OH BITCH U ARIES

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