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Sporting Goods Jokes

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A customer is at a sporting goods store.

Customer in sporting goods store: “Excuse me, do you sell cockroaches?”

Clerk: “Yes we sell them to the fisherman.”

Customer: “I would like 20,000 of them.”

Clerk: “What would you want with 20,000 cockroaches?”

Customer: “I’m moving tomorrow and my lease says I must leave...

Why was the man unable to start a sporting goods store?

He didn’t have the balls

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If Dick’s Sporting Goods and Kay Jewelers were merge, what would their slogan be?

Every Kiss begins with Dick’s?

A man sees an ad for a local sporting goods store

There's a buy 1, get 1 free offer for shirts with a nautical theme print.

Later that day as he enters the store, lights begin to flash, balloons fall, and the store manager walks over holding a tent.

The man is confused. "I just came in for the sale of two sea tees!"

The ...

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A beautiful woman walking into a sporting goods store...

She spends a few minutes shopping around until she finds a fishing rod that she would like to buy for herself. She picks it up and brings it to the front counter. When she arrives the only cashier is a blind man.

"Good choice" The blind man says "That rod is only $20 this week"

"How do...

A woman goes into a sporting goods store to buy a shotgun.

"It's for my husband," she tells the clerk

"Did he tell you what gauge to get?" asked the clerk.

"Are you kidding?" she says. "He doesn't even know that I'm going to shoot him!"

A woman goes into sporting goods store

to buy a rod and reel for her grandson's birthday.

She doesn't know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the counter.

A store associate is standing there wearing dark shades.

The woman says, "Excuse me, sir, can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?" <...

A cricket walks into a sporting goods store:

A cricket walks into a store selling goods for sports, looking to buy a baseball bat.

He walks up to the clerk:

"Where are the baseball bats located, please?" The cricket asks.

The clerk is, not surprisingly, shocked to see a talking cricket. But he decides to play it cool.
<...

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Dick's Sporting Goods came out against circumcision this past weekend

Changing their official slogan to Dicks Sporting Hoods.

Edit* grammar

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Scott Baio is Boycotting Dick's Sporting Goods Because of the Ban on AR-15s

Dick's had to find a cashier to replace him on short notice

A man goes into a sporting goods store

He walks up to an employee and says "I need some poles to hold up my badminton net. I want them to be really tall, at least 35 feet." The employee responds astoundedly, "Those are some high standards!"

One day a man walked into a sporting goods store looking to buy a rifle.

The man had never been hunting before and asked the clerk if he could recommend a rifle.

"Oh yes," the clerk said. "I'm not a very good shot but I've done quite a lot of hunting in my day, even did some big game hunting with my brother in law."

The man responded "No way! Did you get ...

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Why doesn't Justin Bieber shop at 'Sporting Goods?'

Because he likes Dick's better.

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I went to Dicks Sporting Goods and bought a heavy bad and 14oz gloves. The checkout clerk asked me, "Do you wanna box for those?" ...

Why does it always have to be a fight with you people? Can't I just pay for them and go home?

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Im on the verge of starting my passion, a childrens sporting goods store

Little Dicks

A middle schooler was told he needed a jockstrap and cup...

...for flag football.

He had some allowance saved so decided to go to the sporting goods store to purchase the necessary items.

He really had no idea what he was supposed to buy so he asked the lady at the counter for assistance.

"She says, "So you need a jockstrap and a ...

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90% of the time I know what you want.

A Customer walked into a Wal-Mart and the Me as a good Customer Representative said, "Automotive, aisle 15."

The Customer asked, "How did you know I was here to get oil?"

I replied, "That's my job."

Another customer walks in, a man and I said, "Sporting goods, aisle 28."

...

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Ralph, the department store parrot

During its hayday, Goldfinches was a glorious department store, with gorgeous decorations, including a Aviary centerpiece, where Ralph held court. You see, Ralph had a special ability to detect what people wanted by their appearance, and he would tell them where to look for the thing they needed....

Ice fishing

I was in Greenland a few years ago and I wanted to try ice fishing. So I went to the local sporting goods store to purchase everything I would need, an ice saw, fishing pole, line, hooks, and a bucket to hold my catch. I drove out to the ice lake, cut a hole in the ice, and got set up. I had been...

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A teenager was sick and tired of his parents.... [Dad Joke]

A teenager was sick and tired of his parents.

He decided that he needed them gone. As he was walking, he saw a man with a sign that said “Homeless vet. Need money.”

“Perfect,” he thought, and approached the veteran. They negotiated a deal, but the teen had no money - but, he figured,...

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I bet he felt pretty good about himself...

A man walks into the local sporting goods store with the hopes of purchasing some ammunition, as he has every Saturday for the past two months (with nothing but bare shelves), despite the recent shortage. Much to the man's luck, the store just received a large shipment of ammo that morning and he is...

Weights

Somewhat skeptical of his son's newfound determination to become the next Charles Atlas, the father nevertheless followed the teenager over to the weight-lifting department of the sporting goods store.

"Please, Dad," whined the boy, "I promise I'll use them every day."

"I don't know, M...

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Ms. Nugent, a retired widow went to the beach wearing a bra and thong.

Her husband had died a few years back and after years of mourning she decided it was time to get back in the game. And what better way than to go to the beach in a racy, sexy swimsuit to snag a man. In her youth, this plan never seemed to fail although in that time, they didn't have thongs.

A...

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