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Imported Jokes

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One Ukrainian Jew to another: "Would you share this imported bottle of Scotch with me?"

The other: "Of course I would. But we barely have money for food. Where did you get Scotch?"

First: "I traded some Russian caviar for it."

Second: "But how did you get Russian caviar?"

First: "I traded some calamari to them for it."

Second: "But we're hundreds of kilomete...

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Putin and Biden are wrapping up their discussion...

Putin says: "You know, Joe. I had this dream few days ago"

Biden: "Oh, what kind of dream?"

Putin: "I saw America, in flames. Nuclear warhead crater where Capitol used to be. New York leveled. Los Angeles covered in human ash. It was Glorious, Joe. I nearly teared up..."

Biden: ...

My family is divided on the question of imported fruits. My mom says no.

Papaya

I bought some new brake pads imported from Israel

My car can now stop on a dime

What is Russia's favorite imported product?

Ukraine.

What did the Mexican truck driver say in his defense when he got pulled over with ten tons of imported snails?

Es Cargo.

So, a three guys are working with imported meats

The team gets three crates. One of French steaks, but the best before was yesterday. One of English pork ribs: best before a week ago. And one of Germain snags: best before a month ago. They draw straws to work out who has to deal with which meats. The longest straw gets the steak crate, the middle ...

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Did you hear that the first Viagra crate imported to Britain was stolen?

Police are searching for hardened criminals in possession of swollen goods

What do you call a tax on imported rock melodies?

A guitariff.

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I imported a Honda directly from Japan and was forced to pay a large tariff...

...that's OK though because it's my Civic duty.

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