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A man entered the bus with both of his front pockets full of golf balls and sat down next to a beautiful blonde.

A man entered the bus with both of his front pockets full of golf balls and sat down next to a beautiful blonde.


The puzzled blonde kept looking at him and his bulging pockets.


Finally, after many side glances from her, he said, "Its golf balls."


Nevertheless, ...

Never date a tennis player.

Love means nothing to them.

I'm just back from my friend's funeral. He died after a tennis ball hit his head...

It was a beautiful service, to be fair...

I’ve started playing silent tennis...

It’s a lot like regular tennis, but without the racket.

What do you call a woman standing in the middle of a tennis court?

Anette

A man found a tennis ball while out jogging and put it in his pocket to give his dog back home...

As he stopped to wait at the traffic lights, a woman next to him couldn't help but notice the large bulge in his trouser pocket.

"Tennis ball" the man said.

"Oh, that must be painful,” she replied. “I had tennis elbow once!"

Why did the blonde enter the tennis courts naked?

Because the sign said tennis shoes only.


*edit*
Thanks for the sliver kind person

What do you call 2 Mexicans playing tennis?

Juan on Juan!

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When I got home my wife had 2 gorgeous friends with her.

She said, we were just talking about having a foursome if you're up to it... She smiled and winked. 2 minutes later I appeared naked with my dick in my hand..

They all had tennis rackets in theirs.

A tennis player is leaving the court and and a guy walks up to him “Hey what’s all that in your pocket?” He says “It’s tennis balls”

They guy says “Well, if it’s anything like tennis elbow, it must be painful!”

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Why do woman sound like they orgasm when playing tennis?

And why does my mother always play tennis in the bathroom?

I was dating a tennis player, but then she cheated on me

For a while I was at my break point until I realized it wasn’t my fault. Love means nothing to them.

It was time to take my noisy tennis equipment making business elsewhere

The neighbours threatened to report me for making a racket.

A tennis ball walks into a bar...

The bar man asks: “have you been served?”

They say I’m too indecisive to be a tennis umpire

but I still haven’t ruled it out.

Why Donald Trump likes to play Golf not Tennis?

He is not good at returns!

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A man is told by his employer that he has to go see the company doctor in order to keep his insurance...

He reluctantly goes, and is amazed to find no examination table, just a wall full of computer equipment. The doctor walks in and says, "Just place your hand on the scanner here" and shows the man a screen. Bewildered, he places his hand on the screen and immediately the panel glows beneath his hand,...

A guy is out jogging when he sees a tennis ball in the gutter

He picks it up and puts it in his pocket, and keeps on going.

A while later comes across a friend also out jogging, and they carry on together. After a while his friend says "What's that lump in your shorts?

”"That's a tennis ball" he replies.

"Wow!" says his friend, "I've had t...

I used to make extra money by selling illegal tennis equipment on the side, but I was approached by some thugs who told me to stop.

I guess they control the Tennis Racket around here.

Why do tennis players love vending machines?

Because they don't have to wait to for their food to be served.

I was heartbroken when I left my tennis-player girlfriend

But unfortunately, we had very different definitions of love.

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Guy walks into a dr office complaining about a tennis elbow.

Dr- okay I need you to pee into a cup
Patient- why? It’s my EL-BOW!
Dr- ::sigh:: we have this new machine in back and all it needs is the patients urine and it will diagnose ANYthing. Will you just humor me?

The patient agrees, goes into the bathroom, produces a urine sample, hands the ...

What did the tennis instructor name his daughter?

Annette.

They call me Love Master

Because I suck at tennis.

A man was walking through the park..

As he is walking down the trail, he notices a tennis ball in the grass. He looks around, doesn't see anybody it might belong to, so he picks it up and puts it in his pocket to take home, thinking the neighbor's dog might enjoy it. After leaving the park to walk home, he comes to a crosswalk. While w...

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Low wage workers play basketball. Tradesmen go bowling. Middle managers play softball. Upper managers play tennis. CEOs play golf.

The lesson: the higher you climb, the smaller your balls get.

The depressing thing about tennis is

I will never be as good as a wall.

I hate tennis

It’s such a wack sport

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Two Guys Are Playing Tennis, One Said To The Other...

Maan! My elbow hurts like hell, what should I do about it?? His friend quickly replied, well you could just go down to that new drug store they just built not far from here. They’ve got this, NEW technology, and boy is it amazing— there’s a machine in there that you just put a sample of pee in a tub...

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One day Bill complained to his friend that his elbow really hurt...

His friend suggested that he go to a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor.
''Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It only costs $10." Bill figured he had nothing t...

I was wondering why the tennis ball kept coming closer.

But then it hit me!

Did you know that if all the capillaries of a human lung were rolled out onto a tennis court...

The game would likely be cancelled

all the shots used to get very noisy whenever I’d play tennis

It was quite the racket

What do you call a tennis match between Helen Keller and Stevie Wonder?

Endless love.

I absolutely hate the noises that tennis players make at Wimbledon...

What a racquet!

I'm on a customer help live chat right now and the message tone sounds like someone hitting a tennis ball.

Now that's service.

A man complains about the noise of a tennis factory

"You lot are making a racket in there."

My girlfriend was devastated to find out that my mates call me ‘The Love Machine’

because I’m terrible at tennis.

I'm not saying I'm lazy, but during a game of tennis...

The umpire said "break point" and I headed for my chair.

Hear about the tennis players that didn’t score?

Ya, well, they still made love

I lost my job as a waiter when I served one of the customers his food.

On the downside, I got chicken all over my tennis racket.

What’s the difference between a waiter and a tennis scorekeeper?

One sets the tables and one tables the sets

I know a store that sells tennis equipment at ridiculously high prices.

What a racket!

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NO SEX TONIGHT!

I've never quite figured out why the sexual urges of men and women differ so much.

And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing or why men think with their head and women with their heart.

For example… One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed.

We...

While out one morning in the park, a jogger found a brand new tennis ball...

and seeing no one around that it might belong to, he slipped it into the pocket of his shorts.

Later, on his way home, he stopped at the pedestrian crossing, waiting for the lights to change. A blonde girl standing next to him eyed the large bulge in his shorts. "What's that?" she asked, her ...

I went to a busy bar last night dressed as a tennis ball

I got served straight away.

Selling all of my old tennis equipment but I can't figure out

What's the net worth?

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Some great one-liners.

My daughter asked me for a pet spider for her birthday, so I went to our local pet shop and they were £70!!! Blow this, I thought. I can get one cheaper off the web.

I was at an ATM yesterday when a little old lady asked if I could check her balance, so I pushed her over.

My neigh...

What's a glutton's favorite place to play tennis?

A food court.

I always wondered why there is such a high rate of divorce among tennis players

Then I realized love means nothing to them.

My wife got knocked up by her tennis instructor.

Serves her right.

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A tennis ball walks into a bar.

The bartender says, "We don't serve tennis balls here." The ball throws a fit, calls over his friend, and the two make a scene expecting the bartender to give in. Instead, the bartender yells at the friend, "You get out too! I don't want a racket in here."

Two brothers live together, and one of them makes tennis equipment for people with gigantism.

Late one night, he is up, hard at work, when his brother knocks on the door. He gets up from his desk, and answers the door.

"What do you want?" he asks.

His brother responds: "Hey, I'm trying to sleep. Can you stop making a huge racket?"

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[Blonde]Tennis Elbow

A little old man boards a bus with bowling balls in each of his front pockets. He sits down next to a beautiful young blonde lady, and she can't help but glance quizzically at the man and his bulging pockets.

It's an uneasy few minutes before, finally, the little old man can take no more. "Bo...

Did you hear about the dog who told his owner to invest in tennis balls?

They had a high rate of return.

How many tennis players does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

What?!? It's out? That's totally in.

A manager was told by his doctor to take up some sport for exercise, so he decided to play tennis. After a couple of weeks, his administrative assistant asked him how he was doing.

"It's going fine," the manager said. "When I'm on the court and I see the ball speeding towards me my brain immediately says, "To the corner! Backhand! To the net! Smash! Go back!"

"Really? What happens then?" the woman asked enthusiastically.

"Then my body says, 'Who? Me? Don't talk...

Why was Cinderella so bad at tennis?

Because her coach was a pumpkin

Tennis players grunt too much when they practice...

There's no need for all that racket.

Two tennis players got into a shouting match.

They made quite a racket.

So Roger Federer retired from his tennis career

He got bored so he started working as a waiter at a restaurant for fun. When he had to bring his first meal to a customer, he suddenly grabbed his tennis racket, threw the meal in the air and smacked it with his racket, against the wall. The customer freaked out. 'WHAT THE HELL!? I'M CALLING THE MAN...

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