This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

If I’m holding a cricket ball in each hand, what do I have?

A really fucking huge cricket.

TIL crickets only do their iconic "yelling" chirp in the presence of wild moths. Unfortunately, my cricket has none.

He has no moth and he must scream.

Why don’t grasshoppers watch football?

They prefer cricket!

My wife and I were sitting in our living room in silence looking at our phones...

We heard a cricket outside and she looked at me and said "I heard a cricket chirping, but you didn't tell a joke"

I'm going to apply for the job as Australia's next cricket captain.

I've been ball tampering for years and never got caught.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

[for the Aussies & cricket fans] A guy goes to the doctor...

...Doctor: what’s the matter?

Patient: doc, I’ve got a cricket ball stuck up my ass (arse for the Aussies)

Doctor: how’s that?

Patient: don’t you start

What's the difference between Cinderella and the Australian Cricket team?

Cinderella knew when to leave the ball.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A cricket is in love with a mantis

but he's terrified, because he keeps hearing that a mantis will eat the male after sex. Nevertheless, one night the cricket gets really drunk and propositions the mantis. The two have amazing sex all night long, but in the morning the cricket comes to his senses and starts eyeing the mantis warily.<...

I like crickets

They always laugh at my jokes.

I drive my car like I play cricket

I hit and run

A father-to-be was waiting anxiously outside the labour ward where his wife was delivering a baby.

A nurse came up to the man and said, 'You have a girl, but there's another one on the way, so come back soon.'

'Twins,' he thought, a little shakily. He went away and came back an hour later to be told that the second baby had been born, but there was still another on the way.

'Good gr...

An essay on cricket match

Teacher told all students
in a class to write an essay
on a cricket match.

All were busy writing except one Sardarji.
He wrote No match, due to rain!!!

I tried telling some jokes to an audience of crickets...

I have no idea if they were funny.

Why did the cricket team need cigarette lighters?

Because they lost all of their matches!

Today in cricket....

Indians showed their attachment to 7-11.

I love the English cricket team....

The thinnest guy is called broad, ugliest guy is called swann, slowest fielder is trott, guy who is 'behind' the stumps is called prior, and guy whose father's name is john is called peter-son. And the guy who is named Monty goes in with his clothes on.

No doubt, this Cricket team deserves to...

Haters are like crickets

You can't see them but you can hear them, and when you walk by them they are quiet.

CRICKET

Q: If you had one cricket ball in one hand and another cricket ball in your other hand, what would you have?
A: A bloody big cricket.

A late night booty call woke me from a deep sleep...

that damn cricket better have got some!

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Best Cricket Joke Ever!

(Incident described in "From the Pavilion End" by
Harold "Dickie" Bird)

"Bomber" Wells, a spin bowler and great character,
played for Glocuestershire and Nottinghamshire. He
used to bat at No.11 since one
couldn't bat any lower. Of him, they used to
paraphrase Compton's famous ...

A British fellow just doesn't understand why people like cricket.

He tries, he tries so hard. He knows it's his national sport. He also doesn't care much for football and rugby, and always feels left out at the pub. Then one day, he comes in early for a pint, and there's this strange game on the screen. "What's that game up there, Albert?" Albert looks baffled, "w...