Why couldn't the Italian get into his house?

He had gnocchi

I told my mom I wanted to have a potato pasta for dinner. Her response?

Gnocchi dokey.

I remember the last time I had gnocchi

I had to call a locksmith.
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My friend promised he would hide a key to my cell in the noodles of my final meal.

When the guard went away I looked but there was gnocchi.

Why are Italians always locked out of their houses when they get home?


Why was the Italian locked out after dinner?

because he had 'gnocchi'

The anti-phonetic alphabet

I've been making a list for months of words that can be used to deliberately confuse people over the phone when phonetically reading out letters. Some letters like L are tough so I just added funny words to say.

A - aisle

B - bdellium

C - czar

D - Djibouti, Django, djemb...

Why wouldn’t the Italian chef’s car start?

Because he had gnocchis.

This is probably the worst joke that I -a dad - ever told. But it still made my daughter laugh.

My wife, teenage daughter and I are sitting in a restaurant discussing Italian cuisine.

Wife: There's nothing better than fresh gnocchi.

Me: There's nothing better than getting fresh and gnocching someone up.

How did the pasta chef get locked out of his house?

He came home from work with gnocchi.

I had some lasagne in the freezer that I planned on eating but I realized it was locked

And I had gnocchi

My Italian friend works part-time as a chef and part-time as a comedian.

I'm sick of hearing his gnocchi gnocchi jokes.

What's a locksmith's favorite pasta?


Why couldn't the Italian guy open the lock?


Have you heard the one about the guy that got locked out of his house after having Italian for dinner?

He had gnocchi...

Credit: twitter user @Mostly_Cheese

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