Why was the chef locked out of his kitchen?

Because he had gnocchi.

What pasta is always getting locked out of its house?

Gnocchi!

Why wouldn’t the Italian chef’s car start?

Because he had gnocchis.

What do you call it when Jesus throws his Pasta at the door?

Gnocchi on Heaven's Door

How did the pasta chef get locked out of his house?

He came home from work with gnocchi.

The anti-phonetic alphabet

I've been making a list for months of words that can be used to deliberately confuse people over the phone when phonetically reading out letters. Some letters like L are tough so I just added funny words to say.

A - aisle

B - bdellium

C - czar

D - Djibouti, Django, djemb...

My friend promised he would hide a key to my cell in the noodles of my final meal.

When the guard went away I looked but there was gnocchi.

My Italian friend works part-time as a chef and part-time as a comedian.

I'm sick of hearing his gnocchi gnocchi jokes.

I had some lasagne in the freezer that I planned on eating but I realized it was locked

And I had gnocchi

Which Nationality always gets locked out of their house?

Italians because they always have gnocchis.

This is probably the worst joke that I -a dad - ever told. But it still made my daughter laugh.

My wife, teenage daughter and I are sitting in a restaurant discussing Italian cuisine.

Wife: There's nothing better than fresh gnocchi.

Me: There's nothing better than getting fresh and gnocching someone up.

What's a locksmith's favorite pasta?

Gnocchi

Have you heard the one about the guy that got locked out of his house after having Italian for dinner?

He had gnocchi...


Credit: twitter user @Mostly_Cheese

Why couldn't the Italian guy open the lock?

Gnocchi

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