I wonder what my parents did to fight boredom before the internet...

I asked my 18 brothers and sisters and they don't know either.

The internet connection at my farm is really sketchy...

So I moved the modem to the barn.

Now I have stable Wi-Fi!

How does a tree access the internet?

It logs in

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A man went on the internet at work and read that if you masturbate before sex then you'll last longer.

So he thinks 'Great, me and the missus were planning a good time tonight"
But he runs into a problem he can't do it at work, because he'll get fired, he can't do it at home because his wife would be there. So after much thinking he comes up with a solution, on his way home he'll pull over, go un...

You know how I know Al Gore invented the Internet?

The whole thing runs on algorithms

I've got a meeting with the guy that invented the progress bar during the era of dialup internet. He's going to be here in 2 hours and 13 minutes.

Edit: Apparently he's stuck in traffic and he's going to be here in 6 hours 54 minutes.

Edit2: He's making better progress than thought, he will be here in 12 minutes.

Edit3: Apparently it will now take him 5 days

What did our parents do when they were bored back in the days before the internet or video games?

I asked this question to my 24 brothers and sisters too...

What do you call an internet page dedicated to anime?

A weebsite.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

"Thank you for contacting Xfinity Internet, my name is Janice, with whom do I have the pleasure of speaking with today?"

*"Hello Janice my name is Daniel."*

Janice: *"Pleased to meet you Daniel, how can I help you"*

Daniel: *"Well, I'd like to increase my Internet access speed to something more suitable."*

Janice: *"Great! That should not be a problem. So what is your current plan?"*

Dani...

Common sense is like dial-up internet access

It hasn’t been used in years

What is a pirate's least favorite letter?

Dear Sir/Ma'am,

We are cutting your internet connection due to the following reasons:

Illegal Downloading

Have you heard about Ted? The guy with a talent for animated internet pictures?

He's gifted

What do we call people who lie on the internet?

Redditors

What do you call an alligator showing off his spine flexibility on the internet?

E-Reptile Disc Function

What did our parents do to kill time before the internet?

I asked my 16 siblings and they didn't know either.


Not oc but thought I'd share.

Who used the internet first?

Httpsters.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

BBC NEWS: Russia to unplug from the internet.

In other news, 75% of the world's online porn has disappeared

What is O.J. Simpson's internet address?

Slash slash backslash slash slash escape

My 6-year old nephew asked me to share his joke with my Internet friends, so enjoy!

Q: Why did the window frame hurt?

A: It had window pains!

Internet humor is so selfish

It's all about meme meme meme

How come everyone's forgotten about internet explorer?

Because chrome takes up your memory.

What do you call slow internet in the ocean?

Laten-sea

How the Internet started according to the bible.

In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a healthy young wife by the name of Dorothy. And Dot Com was a comely woman, large of breast, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she was often called Amazon Dot Com.

And she said unto...

What do you call a thankful German piece of internet content?

Danke, meme.

I really hate getting scammed on the internet. I ordered a shipment of uranium-237 the other day...

...and by the time it arrived a few days later, the box was half-empty!

What's Forrest Gump's internet password?

1Forrest1

Internet security tip - don’t use ‘beefstew’ as a password

It’s not stroganoff.

​

NOTE: Not my joke but from work

The internet has finally determined the true pronunciation of "GIF"

It's "g" as in garage

Mocking anti-vaxxers on the internet these days is like unvaccinated children

It never gets old.

“The thing about quotes from the Internet is that it is difficult to define their authenticity.”

-Abraham Lincoln, 1933

How does a farmer access the internet?

With Old Macdonald's free wifi.

Why do goalkeepers spend ages on the Internet?

Because they can't stop saving their work.

It was a golden era when there was no internet

In those days, only your family and friends knew how stupid you are.

There are so many scams on the internet. It’s hard to avoid them.

Luckily I know how. Pm me $19.95 and I’ll explain the details.

Sorry, the weather doesn’t work when the internets down

It’s all based in the cloud

Internet Explorer, Google Chrome and Safari walk into a bar. Google Chrome asks for a stiff drink. Safari asks for a heavy drink...

Internet Explorer asks for a frozen drink.

They say the feds track all internet activity and look out for keywords that indicate terrorism or otherwise

I wanted to test this out and Googled "how to kill President"

Few days later I received a care package containing ammo

What do you call a bad saber picture on the internet?

Sword Art Online.

What do you call a potato that makes internet videos?

A YouTuber.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A joke older than Internet

One day Joe complained to his friend, ‘My elbow really hurts. I guess I should go to the doctor.’

His friend advised ‘Don’t do that. There is a computer at the drugstore that will diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor. Just put in a sample of your urine and the computer will dia...

I posted a net neutrality joke on the internet.

It takes some time to get it.

Why doesn't NASCAR have an Internet Explorer car?

Because it would keep crashing.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

My brain is like an internet browser.

12 tabs are open

5 of them are not responding

1 is showing porn

Tons of popups

and where the fuck is that annoying music coming from?

Your parents in 1996: Don't trust ANYONE on the Internet.

Your parents in 2017: Freedom Eagle dot Facebook says Hillary invented AIDS.

How do trees get on the internet?

They log onto the Wood Wide Web.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I met a 14 year old girl on the internet.

She was clever, funny, flirty, and sexy. I suggested we meet up.

She turned out to be an undercover detective.

How cool is that at her age?!

I heard internet addiction is now an official mental disorder and you can go to rehab for it.

Guess I'm going only if there is only Wi-Fi.

I asked the internet a question but I know the internet doesn't work that way.

So I posted the qrong answer and qaited for responses.

What does Donald Trumps military background and bad internet have in common?

No service

Make sure to drink enough water when using the internet...

... otherwise you could have trouble with the IP protocol.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A guy plays on the internet..

And thins kid says: "I fucked your mom last night!"
So the guy replies in an Aussie accent: "getting yourself some of that dead granny puss, are ya mate?"

*aussie, not assie. Thanks, ProphesizedPotato

All these abbreviatons on the internet confuse me.

Now ICYIM too old for this stuff!

How did pirates communicate before the internet?

Pier to Pier Networking

As a Canadian I never realized how slow my internet was until today.

I just now started seeing Thanksgiving posts!

What's the difference between fake internet points and $50?

I wouldn't blow a guy for $50.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

That’s the last time I go to the internet for sex tips...

...I Googled ‘fingering a girl guide’ and got 20 years in prison.

What did our grandparents do without TV or internet?

I don't know. Ask your mom and her 6 siblings.

What kind of internet to flies use?

Wi-Fly

Memes have come a long way since they appeared on the internet.

They used to be funny pictures you sent to your friends, now they lead countries.

Parents in 1998: Don't believe everything you read on the internet

Parents in 2018: Did you know that dogs will die if you feed them ice cubes?