What did our parents do to kill boredom before the internet?

I asked my 10 brothers and sisters, but they don’t know either.

Please send help. I barely hacked onto the internet from China. My country is censoring and controlling us.

Edit: Just kidding. China is a wonderful place. They treat us well and care very much about our human rights. Thank you.

How does a tree get on the internet?

It logs in.

Before the internet, things still went viral...

For example, The Beatles, among others, spread all over the world.

I guess you could say there were a few bugs going around.

The internet connection at my farm was really sketchy, so I moved the modem to the barn.

Now I have stable wifi.

I'm positively delighted by funny internet memes.

So much so that I frequently can't even make it to the punch line without becoming giddy with laughter.

I suffer from, premature e-joke elation.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man went on the internet at work and read that if you masturbate before sex then you'll last longer.

So he thinks 'Great, me and the missus were planning a good time tonight"
But he runs into a problem he can't do it at work, because he'll get fired, he can't do it at home because his wife would be there. So after much thinking he comes up with a solution, on his way home he'll pull over, go un...

Girls are like Internet Domain names

the ones I like are already taken

I wo der how people used their free time before the internet...

I asked my eight siblings but they didn't know either.

Why don't lepers use the Internet?

Because they're digitally challenged.

I've got a meeting with the guy that invented the progress bar during the era of dialup internet. He's going to be here in 2 hours and 13 minutes.

Edit: Apparently he's stuck in traffic and he's going to be here in 6 hours 54 minutes.

Edit2: He's making better progress than thought, he will be here in 12 minutes.

Edit3: Apparently it will now take him 5 days

They say an 80s D&D TV show couldn't work on a modern internet streaming platform

But Stranger Things has happened.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"Thank you for contacting Xfinity Internet, my name is Janice, with whom do I have the pleasure of speaking with today?"

*"Hello Janice my name is Daniel."*

Janice: *"Pleased to meet you Daniel, how can I help you"*

Daniel: *"Well, I'd like to increase my Internet access speed to something more suitable."*

Janice: *"Great! That should not be a problem. So what is your current plan?"*

Dani...

What do you call an internet page dedicated to anime?

A weebsite.

What's the most eco-friendly site on the Internet?

Reddit - it recycles most of its material.

To make a better Internet, I compiled a list of scams and manipulation techniques in order to raise awareness in the most gullible users.

Number 27 will make you cringe

What is a pirate's least favorite letter?

Dear Sir/Ma'am,

We are cutting your internet connection due to the following reasons:

Illegal Downloading

I never use internet explorer, but when I do

I download google chrome.

Spiders should own the internet

After all, they are very talented in web design.

I found some internet history from my wife on my computer where she'd typed "how to leave husband". It got me really worried.

How did she find out the password to my computer?

The internet is like being a parent.

Your mistakes remain visible forever.

I hate people who can't spell words correctly on the internet.

I guess they're just not my type.

What did our parents do when they were bored back in the days before the internet or video games?

I asked this question to my 24 brothers and sisters too...

The internet is full of mean, hurtful, unfriendly, people who have nothing better to do with their lives than make others feel bad!

It's so great to have a place I finally fit in.

What did our parents do to kill time before the internet?

I asked my 16 siblings and they didn't know either.


Not oc but thought I'd share.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Internet videos are like boobs

Who cares if they are fake

I think I might have internet addiction.

I just finished Reddit.

You know how I know Al Gore invented the Internet?

The whole thing runs on algorithms

Why does Ganondorf hate the internet?

Because there's too many links.

Common sense is like dial-up internet access

It hasn’t been used in years

Why is the internet like a motor racing crash?

There are spoilers everywhere.

What do you call an alligator showing off his spine flexibility on the internet?

E-Reptile Disc Function

Have you heard about Ted? The guy with a talent for animated internet pictures?

He's gifted

My 6-year old nephew asked me to share his joke with my Internet friends, so enjoy!

Q: Why did the window frame hurt?

A: It had window pains!

Who used the internet first?

Httpsters.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

BBC NEWS: Russia to unplug from the internet.

In other news, 75% of the world's online porn has disappeared

What do we call people who lie on the internet?

Redditors

What do you call slow internet in the ocean?

Laten-sea

What is O.J. Simpson's internet address?

Slash slash backslash slash slash escape

Internet humor is so selfish

It's all about meme meme meme

Internet security tip - don’t use ‘beefstew’ as a password

It’s not stroganoff.



NOTE: Not my joke but from work

I really hate getting scammed on the internet. I ordered a shipment of uranium-237 the other day...

...and by the time it arrived a few days later, the box was half-empty!

How come everyone's forgotten about internet explorer?

Because chrome takes up your memory.

How the Internet started according to the bible.

In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a healthy young wife by the name of Dorothy. And Dot Com was a comely woman, large of breast, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she was often called Amazon Dot Com.

And she said unto...

The internet has finally determined the true pronunciation of "GIF"

It's "g" as in garage

What do you call a thankful German piece of internet content?

Danke, meme.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A joke older than Internet

One day Joe complained to his friend, ‘My elbow really hurts. I guess I should go to the doctor.’

His friend advised ‘Don’t do that. There is a computer at the drugstore that will diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor. Just put in a sample of your urine and the computer will dia...

Mocking anti-vaxxers on the internet these days is like unvaccinated children

It never gets old.

They say the feds track all internet activity and look out for keywords that indicate terrorism or otherwise

I wanted to test this out and Googled "how to kill President"

Few days later I received a care package containing ammo

It was a golden era when there was no internet

In those days, only your family and friends knew how stupid you are.

I'm worried that no-one has approached me with the latest internet "challenge".

I guess I have MOMO FOMO.

What's Forrest Gump's internet password?

1Forrest1

There are so many scams on the internet. It’s hard to avoid them.

Luckily I know how. Pm me $19.95 and I’ll explain the details.

“The thing about quotes from the Internet is that it is difficult to define their authenticity.”

-Abraham Lincoln, 1933

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was having a conversation with a scammer the other day.

Me: “Hello.”

NOT-Microsoft support: “Hello. This is Bob Bobson from Microsoft Support. We are seeing a lot of virus activity from your device.”

Me: “Oh no. My device? Are you sure?”

NOT-Microsoft support: “Oh yes, we have many reports.”

Me: “Oh jeez. How can I fix it?”...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I met a 14 year old girl on the internet.

She was clever, funny, flirty, and sexy. I suggested we meet up.

She turned out to be an undercover detective.

How cool is that at her age?!

Your parents in 1996: Don't trust ANYONE on the Internet.

Your parents in 2017: Freedom Eagle dot Facebook says Hillary invented AIDS.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My brain is like an internet browser.

12 tabs are open

5 of them are not responding

1 is showing porn

Tons of popups

and where the fuck is that annoying music coming from?

Sorry, the weather doesn’t work when the internets down

It’s all based in the cloud

Internet Explorer, Google Chrome and Safari walk into a bar. Google Chrome asks for a stiff drink. Safari asks for a heavy drink...

Internet Explorer asks for a frozen drink.

As a Canadian I never realized how slow my internet was until today.

I just now started seeing Thanksgiving posts!

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