The new CEO

A particularily large manufactuing company, feeling it was time for a shakeup, hired a new CEO. The new boss was determined to rid the company of all slackers.

On a tour of the facilities, the CEO noticed a guy leaning against a wall. The room was full of workers and he wanted to let them k...

An old man decides to look into a Nudist Colony

He is invited to try the one week trial period so he does.

On his first day he took off his clothes and started to wander around the area. A gorgeous petite blonde walks by, and the man immediately gets an erection.

The woman notices his erection, walks over to him and asks, "did you ...

I have a fear of over complicated industrial facilities

It's a complex complex complex

Wanna hear a construction joke?

Sorry, my subcontractors are still working on it, we're behind schedule, my credit line and bank facilities won't get approved because my auditor won't release a clean audit report......it's a mess.

Building grain processing facilities is a lucrative business

I’m hoping to make a mill by the end of the year.

I hate going to aluminium recycling facilities

Its soda-pressing.

Covert Russian Cameras Discovered In High Profile US Officials' Restroom Facilities

The cameras were disassembled, and found to be of Russian origin. Upon further investigation, they are found to be part of a Russian espionage/blackmail program, codenamed 'Operation VCUP'.

In Germany it's common for mentally ill patients to be committed to least ten different facilities.

They're in-zehn asylums.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Q: What do you call a group of people who share bathroom facilities?

A: party poopers

A doctor, a priest and an engineer go golfing...

After only a few rounds, they get caught behind the worst group of golfers they've ever seen. After growing impatient from waiting for them to finish their holes, they go into the clubhouse to complain.

"Let me explain," says the manager. "You see, those men all used to be firefighters, s...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[Nsfw] [long] An aging father has decided to go into assisted living

Because he didn't want to burden his son. He had been having trouble around the house and had a few scary falls. His son begged him to stay at his family's house, because he felt that this was the best plan.
"Dad, please! Stay with us! I've heard those places are horrible!" His father says "No wa...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In the draw down of WWII...

Dignitaries and generals were touring Nazi facilities in Europe. One of the stops that they made was at a naval base where the dreaded U-Boats were based.

The dignitaries and their staffs were headed to a captured U-Boat, when a droning was noticed, and the air raid sirens went off. The Luft...

At a university exchange programme, an American student met a Syrian student.

“How are the things going on in your country right now?”

“Not good. We still don’t have proper medical facilities, there are plenty of homeless people, lots of religious fanatics and mass murders keep happening everyday.”

“The things aren’t that great here as well,” replied the Syrian ...

An elderly couple died in a car crash

They had been in excellent health for years through taking regular exercise and also because the wife was obsessed with eating health foods, keeping a strict watch on both of their diets.

So when St Peter welcomed them to Heaven, they were keen to take advantage of the first-class relaxation ...

Engineers!

Background information:

In India we have long distance trains which are pulled using engines and have toilet facilities, and seats which double as beds. It issues two types of tickets one is to ride the train (used by people to travel short distances, 8-10hrs) and another is to ride the train...

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A PETA activist visits a small ranch in Montana

After meeting the farmhands and inspecting the facilities, the activist asks the rancher:

“So, what do you give to the pigs to eat?”

“Well, pigs don’t need much to live. I give them scraps and food from the fridge that is almost spoilt, that sort of thing.”

“That’s a grave viola...

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