Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip.

After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

"I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes." replies Watson.

"And what do yo...

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Deer Camp

The guys were all at a deer camp.

No one wanted to room with Bob, because he snored so badly. They decided it wasn't fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time, so they voted to take turns.

The first guy slept with Bob and comes to breakfast the next morning with his hair a...

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My girlfriend says on a camping ground you'll have the best sex.

I tent to agree.

What do you call a camping convict?

Criminal intent.

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(NSFW) Have you ever head sex in a camping site?

It's fucking in tents

Three married businessmen meet for their annual camping trip.

As they see each other only this time of the year, they have a lot to talk about. On their last day in the woods, the men decide to go for a little walk. Suddenly, they hear someone whimper. They follow the noise to a well and with combined efforts, they rescue a little fairy from its ground.
...

I had to stop going to the outdoor seamstress camp

It was just sew in tents

What are bombing instructors in Jihad camps getting tired of hearing?

"Ok Boomer"

Sherlock and Dr. Watson goes camping.

They put up a tent, make dinner and goes to sleep.

In the middle of the night, Sherlock wakes up Watson and asks:

Watson, do you see all the stars above? What do you deduce from that?

**Dr. Watson:** Hmm... if there are countless stars and planets on one of them should be lifeli...

A drill sergeant ran his platoon of recruits all over the camp in the hot sun with heavy packs on.

As they stood there, exhausted, he put his face up to one of the recruit's face and said, "I'll bet you're wishing I would die so you could come and urinate on my grave, aren't you?"

And the recruit says, "No, sir! When I get out of the army I'm never gonna stand in another line again!"

An illiterate dad and his son who has a PhD in astrology went camping.

They unpacked and set up their tent. After dinner they went to sleep. A few hours later dad woke and was looking at the stars.

He woke his son up and asked him, "what do you see?"

He son said, "astronomically, it tells you that there are a lot of galaxies out there,"

His father...

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Sherlock and Watson go camping

They set up their tent and crawl inside. At about 3:00 in the morning Sherlock woke Watson up.

Sherlock: Watson look up. What do you see

Watson: Stars

Sherlock: And what do you think that means?

Watson: Well it makes me think that maybe...just maybe... with a universe tha...

If you have a camp to help people with ADHD...

would it be called a concentration camp?

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I’m trying to start a study camp for people who can’t focus in class...

But nobody will join my concentration camp!

You can't run through a camp site.

You can only ran because it's past tents.

I went camping last week

It’s in tents

Me and a friend went camping. We pitched our tent, went fishing, then got in our tent and went to bed.

At around midnight, I woke up and looked at the stars. I told my friend, “Look! The stars! Do you know what that means?” He says, “The stars are other planets. Does that mean there could be other life out there?”

I told him, “You idiot. It means someone stole our tent.”

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I took so much camp counsellor dick

I got a woodworking badge

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Two guys are camping in the outback

They have been drinking quite heavily and one goes to take a piss in the bush.

A few minutes later he hears a scream and his mate comes back holding his penis.

“Fuck mate, i went to take a piss and pissed right down the hole of an eastern brown snake, he flew out and bit me right on ...

I was molested at fat camp

but I think I was asking for it because my clothes were so tight.

-Jessica Kirson

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are going camping

They pitch their tent under the stars and go to sleep. In the middle of the night Holmes wakes Watson up.

Holmes: Watson, look up to the stars, and tell me what you deduce.

Watson: I see millions of stars, and even if a few of those have planets, it's quite likely there are some planet...

There's a anti vax kids only summer camp

It's called the cemetery

A young man joined up with a lumberjack camp

On his first day at the camp, one of the old hands was showing him the ropes: when to eat, where to pull timber, all the little details he needed to know to do his job. At the end of the impromptu lesson, the old hand asked the young man whether he had any questions.

"Just one," said the yo...

Sherlock Holmes and Watson go on a camping trip

They set out In the afternoon and arrive at their location a few hours before dark. They set up their tent and camp fire before going to bed.

In the middle of the night Sherlock Holmes wakes up Watson and says,
"Look up Watson, what do you see?"
Watson looks up at the sky, it's a beaut...

Two men were washed ashore during World War I.

Their ship, an aging minesweeping model, had wrecked off the coast. As they sought shelter in a makeshift camp, one of them managed to salvage a radio and quickly telegraphed an SOS with their coordinates.

To their surprise, a ship responded within the hour, saying it could be at their locat...

A priest a rabbi and a minister go camping

There is a bet on which one could convert a bear. A week or so later the rabbi is in the hospital and the others go to visit him. The priest tells the others that while walking in woods the bear started chasing him. The priest sprinkled the bear a couple of times and the bear surrendered. The minist...

Dear Apple: please stop autocorrecting things like “he HAD gone camping” and “he HAS gone camping”

Spelling mistakes are one thing, but don’t assume you know what tents I wanted to use.

A Young man comes home from boot camp is telling his dad all about it...

...He proceeds to tell him about the part of boot camp where they learn to jump out of a plane.

The son says, "Everyone was jumping out of the plane but I was too scared so I just held onto the door. We had a big, black drill sergeant that was screaming at me to jump but I just couldn't do i...

When I was a little kid I had a pet turtle. Tiny little turtle, kept him in an aquarium. When i went to camp, the turtle died. When i got home, my dad lied to me. He said, "your turtle is live and well, it just went to go live with your mother." And i believed that til i was digging in the backyard

...found my mom's body.

Smh worst day of my life,
I loved that turtle

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Hitler's lookinf for athletes in a camp

So, the Olympics are coming up and Germany is having a hard time finding athletes who can jump high enough.

Hitler decides to scout out the prisoners from the camps as well.

In the first camp he visits, he asks if there are people capable of this.

Three prisoners step forward an...

My friend likes to setup a poker table in his tent when we go camping.

The game gets intense.

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What is it called when an airplane crashes in a Nazi concentration camp?

Nein Eleven

What do you call an Italian concentration camp?

A spaghetto.

I sent my kids to a Youth in Asia camp.

Still waiting for them to tell me they've arrived.

I was on board with Trump for the groping, the concentration camps, Kim Jong-Un, the trade war, the millionaire tax cut...

But he really needs to watch his language

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Two men camping...

Two men camping in the mountains had spent four days together, and they were getting a little testy.

One morning, the first friend says, "You know, we're starting to get on each other's nerves. Why don't we split up today. I'll hike north and spend the day looking around, you hike south and ...

A perfectly triangular lake has 3 kingdoms on its 3 sides.

The first kingdom is rich and powerful, filled with wealthy, prosperous people, the second is more humble, but has its fair share of wealth and power. The third kingdom is struggling and poor, and barely has an army.

The kingdoms eventually go to war over control of the lake, as it's a valuab...

Three friends go camping in a haunted forest

Late at night, the ghost that haunts the place goes to the first guy and says; "I'm the ghost with one green eye." Naturally the first guy flees. Then, the ghost goes to the second guy and says: "I'm the ghost with one green eye". Second guy flees. And lastly the ghost goes to the third guy and says...

What’s the difference between a Boy Scout and a Jew?

One comes back from camp

A boy scout and a nerd go for camping

They slept inside their tent but in the middle of the night the boy scout wakes up the nerd and asks him what's above them.
Nerd: A sky full of stars

Boy scout:What does that imply?

Nerd:Obviously it means that the Earth is after all only a small part of the universe and there mig...

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Concentration camp, December 24th 1940s

It's Christmas Eve 1940 and there is room full of Jews who are prisoners at a concentration camp. It's the holiday season and The commandant is in a particularly good mood so he goes to the room and opens the door.

"It's Christmas and I'm in a giving mood," he says, " I've decided to let you ...

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These immigrant internment centers are worse than Nazi concentration camps

The concentration camps at least had working showers.

Camping is the best extreme sport

It's in tents

Smokers are great people to go camping with

You can easily outrun them if a Bear attacks

My wife was surprised to hear that I actually enjoyed her punishment of making me sleeping on the sofa. I said that it made me feel manly, like I was camping.

…with a really angry bear somewhere close by.

What do you call an underwater labor camp?

Glug Glug Gulag

Rant: Please stop posting holocaust jokes. My great grandfather died in a concentration camp and it's very painful.

He fell off the guard tower.

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Two Jewish boys were in a concentration camp together...

During their time there they became like brothers and when the war ended, they decided that they should live together as such. Many years go by until one of them wins the lottery.

"I can't believe you won the lottery! What are you going to do with all that money?"

"First, I'll buy us a...

I ran away from fat camp

I guess it worked.

What's the difference between a hospital and a terrorist camp?

I wouldn't know, I'm just the drone operator.

A Scotsman, an Englishman and a Frenchman are walking through the jungle...

They’re very tired, and they decide to take a shortcut across a nearby river to quickly reach their camp.

As they cross the river, a tribe of savages charge out of the trees and surround them. The tribe Chief steps forward and says

“This river sacred ground... you trespass on sacred ...

What happens when a Jewish kid has ADHD?

They get sent to a concentration camp

Walking into a concentration camp be like

Auschwitz here we go again

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Having sex whilst camping is stressful

It's fuckingintents

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Two Jews die and wait outside the pearly gates.

While waiting they realise that they both survived the same concentration camp.

After some chatting, one says to the other: "remember that time when the guard pushed you onto the electric fence and you almost died?" A second of silence passes and suddenly they both start laughing hystericall...

There's a hole in the nudist camp's wall

...the police are looking into it.

I went on a camping trip with my wife, kids, and mother-in-law.

At night, my wife awoke to find her mother gone. Rushing to me, she insisted on trying to find her mother. I picked up my rifle, took a swig of whiskey, and started to look for her.

In a clearing not far from the camp, we came upon a chilling sight, the mother-in-law was backed up against a t...

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Went camping last weekend and woke up at three in the morning to the most amazing site of the milky way galaxy.

Where the fuck is my tent?
Sight,fuck

The number seven went camping one day.

He packed his things and he was sept for life.

I was told I was going to a Military boot camp

So I showed up in Yaddas

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Paddy and Mick go camping...

Paddy and Mick decide to go camping.

They pack their bags with food and supplies and head off into the woods.

After eight long hours of walking, Paddy turns to Mick and asks, “Shall we set up camp?”

“No,” Mick replies. “Let’s keep walking some.”

They move deeper into the ...

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Adolf Hitler is walking around in a prisoner camp.

As he is passing through he see a kid who is giving his food rations to an injured dog.

Hitler walks up to the kid and asks him, "Why are you giving your food to the dog? You know you wont get extra."

The boy replies, "The dog needed it more than me, sir."

Hitler felt something ...

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In 1944 during a prisoner revolt at the Nazi's most infamous concentration camp, an SS guard was burned alive by prisoners in a crematorium oven.

That is what I call the Auschwitzaroo.

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I was playing a big game of hide and seek when I went camping with a big group.

We were devided in teams of two and we had to stay hidden in a big forrest for as long as possible. I was put in a team with my little brother. After searching for a good spot we eventually settled in a watchtower.

We agreed that one person stood watch and the other could rest. My brother be...

Jack and Dan are on a camping trip in the woods, when Dan passes out

Jack calls the Ambulance and reports the accident

The Ambulance tells him, " Make sure he is actually dead'

Jack leaves the phone and the Ambulance hear a shot

Jack says, "Now what?"

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Holmes and Watson are out on a camping trip

Finally away from work, Dr Watson and Sherlock Holmes decide to spend there time off the great outsiders They set up their camp, get a fire roaring, put up their tent and get ready for the evening in the wild. After a nice meal, the two detectives decide it’s time to head on to bed. They both crawl ...

What’s the best way to deal with kids with ADHD?

Send them to a concentration camp.

Why are Boy Scouts annoying to play video games with?

Because they’re good at camping!

The theme for this year’s Met Gala was Camp

The outfits were in-tents.

The Retired Husband

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target.

Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse.

Yesterday my dear wife received the following...

I always give my 100%

and thats how i died after visiting the blood donation camp.

Correct this sentence: A man runs by a campsite

It’s “A man *ran* by a campsite” because it’s past tents

What’s the difference between a children’s hospital and an ISIS training camp?

I dunno, I just fly the drones

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A boy went camping for a school trip....

He could not fall asleep, as he wasn’t a good camper. His female teacher was sleeping in the tent next to him, so he walks over, and this is the conversation that breaks out.

Teacher: “Ummmmm.... what are you doing?”

Kid: “I can’t sleep. My mommy let’s me sleep with her if I can’t slee...

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Three German Engineers, one from BMW, one from Mercedes and one from Audi are kidnapped by ISIS and taken to a prison camp.

There the sadistic commander told them 'out there are 500 land mines, if you can cross it without being killed you are free to go!'

So the BMW engineer starts crawling forward searching with his hands but eventually crawls over a mine he missed and is blown to pieces.

The Mercedes engi...

Two friends went camping

After they had set up the camp, one of them tried to light a fire while the other prepared the salad. The second friend heard the first friend swear repeatedly and eventually decided to see what's wrong. He asked his friend "Why is the fire not lit? Did we forget the matches?" The other friend then ...

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My great grandpa was killed in a Nazi camp during WWII.

He was thrown off of his guard tower during a riot break out.

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Did you hear the story about Joe Shitter?

Did you hear the story about Joe Shitter? Poor schmuck was bullied for his name as far back as grade school. Everyone anticipated daily roll call just to hear the teacher call out his name and burst in uncontrolled laughter. Even the teachers giggled. It didn't end after school, he joined the army h...

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Three army officers decide to camp near their base for a night...

There hiking up a hill when a massive storm rolls in, they need shelter, luckily for them they find a small, super run down, old, musty, cabin.

They enter the cabin, and it’s a disaster...

Everything is overturned, animals had clearly screwed the place.

But the storm was inten...

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Camping. NSFW

Guy 1) So you’re out camping with all guys, one night you’re all partying around the fire and you wake up the next morning with your pants around your ankles and jizz coming out of your ass, do you tell anyone?

Guy 2) uhh no...

Guy 1) alright, wanna go camping??

I can’t bear it

A Russian scientist and a Czechoslovakian scientist had spent their whole lives studying the majestic grizzly bear. Each year they petitioned their respective governments to allow them to go to Yellowstone to study these wondrous beasts.

Finally, their request was granted and they immediately...

I used to work in a lumberjack camp...

But my boss gave me the axe.

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Why didn't the Jewish boy come home from camp?

Because he was having a great time and decided to stay for another week ... you sick fuckers.

An old joke I heard from an Israeli fighter pilot...

According to him, flight school is hard. Most recruits wash out early. Some... Not so early. The training lasts years, and you can wash out at any time.

It was the last day of training, right before graduation, when the news came down, one of the cadets was being kicked out.

By this ...

Have you heard about the seasonal camping sale?

It is the winter of discount tents!

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What kind of camp do Jewish kids go to when they can't focus in school?

Summer camp, just like every other kid you sick bastards!

How do you keep a Mormon from drinking all your beer on a camping trip?

Take two of them with you.

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One day, Hitler decided to visit one of his concentration camps.

He spoke to the on-site general, and told him to line up all of the prisoners in a row.

When all of them were lined up, Hitler went up to the first person and asked him, "How high do you jump?"

The general looked at Hitler, confused, then looked at the prisoner. The prisoner looked bac...

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Fred loves camping, but his wife absolutely hates it (NSFW)

Every week Fred bugs his wife about it but its the same thing every time, she refuses to go camping. Finally having heard enough his wife says "fine, how about this? I have a list of things that need to be done around the house. If you finish everything on the list by Friday, I'll go camping with y...

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What’s the difference between staring hard at someone, and homosexuals on camping trips?

One is an intense gaze, the other is gays in tents.

They tried to warn us, it's finally happening, minorities herding white people into camps.

Here in Oregon we call them "music festivals"

What's the difference between a rehab center and a concentration camp?

One takes addicts out of people, the other takes people out of attics.

(Works best when said out loud)

A Young Russian is sent to a Siberian Work Camp

A Guard looks at him and asks "How long is your sentence?"

The young man says, "Ten years"

The guard whistles and replies, "What did you do?"

"Nothing" says the young man.

The guard laughs and says "That's a lie. For doing nothing you only get 8 years"

What’s the difference between camping and being homeless?

Commitment

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(Long & Dirty) A pilot, co-pilot and a stewardess survive a plane crash

So there is this plane crash above the Atlantic ocean and only the pilot, co-pilot and a stewardess survive. They manage to make it to an island and set up some little camp. After the first week, they realize that surviving is not enough. The pilot asks the stewardess: " Listen, I really need some s...

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I thought I’d try going to a swingers camping trip, but I was too shy to participate.

It was two fucking in tents for me.

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It was Christmas time in the concentration camp..

And the Nazis figured that they would have a bit of fun with the “inmates”.

So they roasted up a huge duck, filled with veggies, plums, sauce and glazed with butter.


They walk in to the yard and place the duck, as the Jews gathered around to see what was going on.

They tol...

Sherlock Holmes and Watson go camping

Towards the end of the evening, they decide to turn into their tent and sleep.

Around 3AM, Sherlock rouses Watson awake

"Watson! Watson!!"

Watson opens his eyes and sees a beautiful night sky full of shimmering stars.

"What do you see Watson?"

"Well Dr Holmes, I se...

Lone Ranger and Tonto go camping together

They Fall asleep early due to a long day.

In the middle of the night, Lone Ranger wakes up and speaks to Tonto who’s now awake as well

“It’s a beautiful night” Tonto Says

“How so?” Replies Lone Ranger

“There are many stars in the sky” Tonto Replies

“You know what t...

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