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Portal Jokes

what do you call a cute portal?

a doorable

What do Portal and Pearl Jam have in common?

I’m still alive

Augmented reality portal?

In my time we called that a church.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man had a portal to a secret world in his house

Every night he would step through the portal and leave his chatty wife, screaming kids and dirty dog behind. He would be completely alone and calm.
But then his feet would cramp up and he had to wipe his ass and get back to reality.

What’s a Russian online portal where you can see what shows aren’t available in your country?

Nietflix.

A Rabbi falls through a portal one day...

And ends up in an alternate universe, inhabited by a people known as the Trids. They take him in and are friendly, but every day at exactly 3 pm a they all bury their heads in the ground. Eventually the rabbi gets curious enough to ask them why they do that. Their leader replies that sometimes a gia...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It was time for Father John's Saturday night bath and the young nun, Sister Magdalene, had prepared the bath water and towels just the way the old nun had instructed.

Sister Magdalene was also instructed not to look at Father John's nakedness if she could help it, do whatever he told her to do, and pray.

The next morning the old nun asked Sister Magdalene how the Saturday night bath had gone.

'Oh, sister,' said the young nun dreamily, ‘I've been sav...

Because I'm such a Portal 2 fan, I created my own levels.

Sadly, none of the "volunteers" have made it out alive and their families are starting to ask questions.

I didn't believe it when they told me the government had accidentally opened a portal to another dimension while trying to spy on the Russians...

But I guess stranger things have happened.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Tale of Three Heavens

Once upon a time, long long ago, in village far far away, there lived a fairly affluent merchant who lived a nice luxurious life in his spacious mansion. The merchant befriended a homeless man who lived in front of the gates of his mansion and often gave him food.

One day, the merchant n...

What is Henry Cavill's least favourite game?

Portal

Edit: Thanks for the coin, kind redditor!

Thanks as well for the coin gift!

Vote for Gaben for president.

There will be no World War 3.


(stolen from a 4 year old comment on a portal 2 e3 2010 YouTube video).

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