A woman ran screaming into the pro shop at the golf course...

"I just got stung by a bee between the first and second hole!"

The guy at the counter said "Your stance is too wide".

What's President Trump's favorite store to shop at?

Wall-mart

There was a huge discount on a local shop at my town. 99% off on everything! Apparently no one came.

I guess no one likes coffins.

Why did Michael Jackson shop at Walmart?

Young boys pants were always half off.

Why does Jesus shop at the discount store?

Because Jesus saves

Why do hippies shop at Ikea?

Because no trees were harmed in the making of their furniture.

Why does Michael Jackson shop at k-mart.

Because little boys pants are half-off.

Sorry I know this joke is too old to be one of his victims

and I know it is bad taste to make fun of the dead.

RIP K-Mart you will be missed.

Why don't terrorists shop at Walmart?

They prefer a Target.

What do you call a shoe shop at the bottom of the sea?

Davy Jones's foot locker.

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Why doesn't Justin Bieber shop at Sport's Authority?

Because he likes Dicks.

Why doesn't Elin Nordegren ever shop at the fish market?

Because Tiger is always bringing home crabs!

Hey baby do you shop at Aldi?

Cause you'll love Aldi's nuts.

Why do white men shop at black yard sales?

To get all their stuff back.

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Why doesn't Justin Bieber shop at 'Sporting Goods?'

Because he likes Dick's better.

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

The No Poo Kangaroo

You know how you can buy booze cheap at the airport in foreign countries? Well this world traveler told me that some airports also sell exotic animals. He was in Australia recently and decided to buy the cutest kangaroo. He took it home and a few weeks later noticed that his furry friend hadn't p...

all sales final: no returns

An Australian aborigine has a boomerang that won't come back to him no matter how many times he tries to throw it. Frustrated he goes to the witch-doctor for advice. The witch-doctor asks him where he got the boomerang and the abo tells him he got it from a souvenir shop at Ayer's Rock. The witch-...

The FBI recently found a common link amoung those that stormed the capital on the January 6th riots.

Turns out they all shop at Traitor Joes.

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Did you know that if you stroke your testicle with one hand and a kiwi with the other and close your eyes, you wonโ€™t feel the difference?

And that Iโ€™m not allowed to shop at Whole Foods for the next couple of months?

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