UPJOKE
midgeflymosquitoinsectdipterasandflyblackflydipterandipterous insectpunkiedragonflycicadabughouseflyearwig

Gnat Jokes

How do you know when a gnat farts?

It flies in a straight line.

What did the gnat say when it hadn’t eaten in a while?

“I’m so hungry I could eat a horsefly.”

Why did the gnat not go to prison?

His g’s were silent

So there's a fly...

and a gnat lands on its back.
The fly says, "is there a gnat on my back?"
The gnat says, "gnat at all."
The fly says, "that's the worst pun I've ever heard."
The gnat goes, "what do you expect, I just made it up on the fly!"

The tale of two gnats

So a gnat is on a vacation and he sees another gnat but he looked beat up with bruises all over his body. He walks over and asks him why he looks the way he does.

"Well," says the beat up gnat, "My living conditions are terrible. I live in this biker's mustache, and if holding on while he's r...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Jewish Samurai

There once was a powerful Japanese emperor who needed a new chief samurai. So he sent out a declaration throughout the entire known world that he was searching for a chief.

A year passed, and only three people applied for the very demanding position: a Japanese samurai, a Chinese samurai, and...

What do you call it when a gnat kills itself?

“Pesticide.”

How many gnats does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

It only takes two, but the trick is getting them in the lightbulb.

Do you know any words that end in AT?

Man 2: Gnat does.
Man 1: what does?
Man 2: yeah, what ends in AT.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man at the zoo is watching the Gorillas

A big silverback is right up to the edge of the cage, and the man goes over to it.

He scratches his head and, to his surprise, the gorilla does the same. The man sees this and then scratches his armpit. Again the gorilla does the same. The man beats his chest, and again, the gorilla does ...

“Fly guy!” the little girl called out to her “fly friends”

Her mother, getting annoyed at the persistent calls, reprimanded her daughter, “They’re not your friends! They are just annoying little pests!”

The little girl looks up at her mother, on the verge of tears, and goes, “No they’re gnat!”

A dog walks into a natural history museum

Asking for a piece of the new dinosaur exhibit to prove an important theory

In return the dog offered what looked like a tiny black speck encased in amber

The research assistant was visiting from Ireland and was very much out of his intellectual depth. Not wanting to seem ignorant, the...

The anti-phonetic alphabet

I've been making a list for months of words that can be used to deliberately confuse people over the phone when phonetically reading out letters. Some letters like L are tough so I just added funny words to say.

A - aisle

B - bdellium

C - czar

D - Djibouti, Django, djemb...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Joke from my southern grandmother

I haven’t seen this one on here before, but maybe I’ve just missed it. Here goes:

Back yonder in the olden days, little Johnny would have to walk to the school house for class. As with many young children, Johnny was very imaginative and would play pretend with sticks and branches, sword figh...

I'm a Mime rapper

I call myself Gnat. Cause I'm a silent G.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.