Wife: I just got stung by a jellyfish. quick, pee on it

Husband : [peeing on jellyfish] This is for stinging my wife

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I bet jellyfish are sad...

that there are no peanut butter fish.

A woman on holiday was stung by a jellyfish...

She yells to her husband and says "I was stung by a jellyfish, you need to pee on it."

The husband runs over to the jellyfish and pees on it saying "that's for stinging my wife."

Jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not having brains.

This gives me hope for the next generation.

What do you call a jellyfish on a plane?

A flightoplankton.

What do jellyfish and a girl after prom night have in common?

They can't be deboned.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

My wife and I went on our honeymoon to Australia...

Unfortunately, I had to dial the help line.

"G'day this is Tim, you've reached the Aussie help line. How can we help ya mate?"

I told him, "We were in the ocean and my wife was stung by a jellyfish on her lady parts. Her vagina is completely swollen shut. It's our honeymoon, and well.....

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Miss Davies wants to teach her class about Hearsay, so they enact a game of "Telephone"

She arranges the students in a circle and turns to her first student, Peter. She whispers "The box jellyfish has 24 eyes, and a lifespan of less than one year" to Peter and tells him to pass the message on. As she watched the message being passed on, she noted the subtle look of enlightenment in eac...

What's R. Kelly's favorite animal?

The Jellyfish.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Three Men Find a Genie

The first wishes to live forever. The genie transforms him into a Jellyfish.

The second, realizing what kind of genie he was dealing with, wished for great wealth, one that didn't involve his loved ones dying. The genie killed him, then notified his life insurance.

The third man, when ...

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Fish jokes

One fish says to the other, “You drink like a fish.”
The other fish responds, “So do you.”

What did the sardine call the submarine?
A can of people.

What is the best way to communicate with a fish?
Drop it a line.

What fish is best to have in a boat?
A Sailfish.
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