Did you hear about the Cobra who couldn't hold himself upright?

He had reptile dysfunction

When I resigned from my job HR offered me a Cobra...

I turned the offer down because I don’t think it’s safe to own a cobra, especially during a lapse in health insurance.

The Spitting Cobra's venom can make you go blind. What Swedish snake can help you see more clearly?

The Vindshield Viper!

Have you guys heard about the cobra who couldn't raise its head off the ground?

He had reptile dysfunction.

Chuck Norris got bitten by a King Cobra

And after 5 agonizing days of pain.

The cobra died

Husband: My wife is missing. She went to rescue people from the flood yesterday and has not come home ...

Sergeant at Police Station:
What is her height?

Husband:
Gee, I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall.

Sergeant:
Weight?

Husband:
Don't know. Not slim, not really fat.

Sergeant:
Color of eyes?

Husband:
Sort of brown I think. Never really ...

If Ekans is snake backwards and Arbok is cobra backwards...

Then what *were* the Pokemon developers thinking when they named one Muk.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What does a limp dick and a king cobra have in common?

You don't fuck with either of em!

I just lost my job and was told I should apply for COBRA.

I said okay, but I think the G.I. Joes are going to be very disappointed in me.

How do you turn a cobra into a rattlesnake?

Give it to Michael J Fox

A conversation between a cobra and a librarian

-Shhhh

-Shhhh

-Shhhh

-Shhhh

A husband calls the Sheriff's office to report his wife missing.

Husband: My wife is missing. She went shopping yesterday and has not come home!

Sheriff: Height?

Husband: I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall.

Sheriff: Weight?

Husband: Don't know. Not slim, not really fat.

Sheriff: Color of eyes?

Husband: Sort ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Quiet guy in class had this gem of a response

Military history class. We have this one guy in class who doesn't really say much and tends to keep to himself; just figured one of those 'man of few words' kinda guys. One day, we were discussing the planes used in WW2. Ensuing discussion goes as such

Professor: So what planes did we have du...

In the City of Loafington, there lived a superhero named Wonderbread.

Wonderbread was, predictably, a superhero with bread-themed powers. He could beat up a gang with a baguette, trap someone in a giant pita, or cushion someone's fall with swiftly-rising dough. He was beloved by all in the city, for his escapades had the lovely side-effect of feeding the entire city f...

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