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Rocket Scientist Jokes

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Two rocket scientists, Dave and Archie, are in the staff kitchen...

Dave is trying to get the toaster oven to work so he can toast their breakfast. Nothing seems to be working. He tried unplugging/replugging it. He tried cleaning it out.

After several minutes, a frustrated Archie finally speaks up.

"Figure it out, Dave!" he says. "It's not sex."

What do you call a handjob from a rocket scientist?

A stroke of genius.

Why did the rocket scientist stop working a project?

He had no comet-ment.

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Two Polish Rocket Scientists Announce to the World They're Going to the Sun in a Spaceship

The entire world wide scientific community swiftly points out that the Sun is too hot for such a journey and they'd quickly burn up to which they replied very smugly: "Ah SEE! We've thought of this and have a plan!.....We're going at NIGHT!"

I do not mean to offend anyone and my apologies to ...

I made a group for rocket scientists once

It really took off

Why do Scarecrows Make Great Rocket Scientists?

...because they're out-standing in their field!

What do rocket scientists say about a task that is relatively easy?

It's no social skills!

How the Intercontinental Ballistic Missile Came To Be

One night the great rocket scientist Werhner Von Braun was walking home in a nasty, freezing show storm, when nature called upon him quite suddenly.

After doing his business he stood up and looked down upon the result, at which he was heard to remark "Good heavens, that's one icy BM..."

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I never understood how Ty Lee joined the Kyoshi warriors at the end of Avatar.

That's like if the United States hired Nazi rocket scientists to work on our space program after WW2 ended.

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A mans car womt run, so he takes it to the mechanic...

Mechanic: you used subpar fuel wich corroded your injectors and intake manifold.

Man: english please?

Mechanic: low quality gas ruined your engine.

Man: dumb it down for me, im not a rocket scientist.

Mechanic: bad go-go juice make your vroom vroom machine all fucky.
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Two priest's were taking a piss...

...in the urinals one day and the one priest looks down and see's a nicotine patch on the other guy's dick.

He says, "I'm not really a rocket scientist or anything, but, isn't that supposed to be on your arm?"

And the other priest goes, "Nah, it's working fine. I'm down to two butts ...

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The common phrase to express somethings simplicity is

"its not rocket science...". But what do rocket scientists say to each other? "Come on Doug, its not.....sex."

There are four people on a crashing plane but only three parachutes...

First man goes "I am a leading heart surgeon one of the best in the world, my patients and country need me". He takes the first parachute and jumps.

Second man arrogantly goes "I am brilliant rocket scientist, one of the smartest men alive the world needs me". He takes the second parachute an...

Say what you will about Hamas...

...but their education system is top notch. Over 90% of the children in Gaza become "Rocket Scientists".

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