This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

By tightly securing our Nuclear Arsenal through human, digital, mechanical and chemical means, we've been able to almost completely eliminate the risk of nuclear warhead explosions due to accidents or hostile attacks, however if these past four years have taught us something ...

... it's that we also need to equip our nukes with child locks.

Austria declares war on China:

„We have 200 soldiers and 3 Tanks“

China accepst: „We have 4 Million Soldiers, a Million Tanks an a couple hundred nuclear warheads“

Austria replies:„We abort the declaration, we can't provide enough accomodations for the war prisoners “

I've invented a rocket that intercepts incoming warheads by consuming them.

It's a cannibalistic missile.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One of my friends told me to "stop acting stiff and to just cut loose."

I told him to "fuck off, how am I supposed to start dancing when we're tied to a nuclear warhead?"

Almost made me wanna stab the idiot with the pocket knife I always carry on me.

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