The 66+ Best Confuse Jokes

I hate it when people confuse one social media for another

Edit: Thanks for the likes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man playing on a new golf course got confused as to what hole he was on. He saw a lady playing ahead of him, so he walked up to her and asked if she knew what hole he was playing...

She replied, “I’m on the 7th hole and you’re a hole behind me, so you must be on the 6th hole.”

He thanked her and went back to his golf.

On the back nine, the same thing happened and he approached the lady, again with the same request.

She said, “I’m on the 14th, you are a hole...

I got my covid test results and I'm so confused.. it was just the number 83...

On the plus side my IQ test came back positive

Two Canadians die and end up in Hell. Satan decides to pay them a visit, so he walks into their room and sees them talking and laughing. Confused, he asks them why they're happy.

They tell him, "Well, we're so sick of the cold where we're from, and this place is nice and toasty."

Satan, annoyed, storms away and goes to Hell's boiler room, where he turns up the temperature.

He goes back to the Canadians' room, along the way being begged by all sorts of people to...

I was confused why there are so many stories about vampires in Europe, but not in Africa.

Then I remembered that vampires are killed by holy water.

They bless the rains down in Africa.

As I was driving past a prison yesterday, I saw a dwarf scaling down the wall. Confused , I stared up at him and he sneered back.

And I thought to myself, "well that's a little condescending."

I was driving with my dad when we passed a cemetery. My dad goes in a low, dark, creepy voice, "I know something about this cemetery that you don’t.” And I was like what is it? He continued, "The people living in this town can’t be buried here.” I was really confused so I asked why?

He rasped, "Cuz they’re still alive!"

Why do computer scientists always confuse Christmas and Halloween?

Its cause DEC 25 = OCT 31

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I got the words "jacuzzi" and "yakuza" confused.

Now I'm in hot water with the Japanese mafia.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How do you confuse a gay?

How do you confuse an Apple user?

Give them options.

My wife left a note on the fridge that said, “It’s not working. I can’t take it any more. I’m going to my mom’s.” Confused and extremely worried, I slowly opened the fridge door. The light came on, the beer was cold.

What the hell did she mean?

What do you call a group of confused Spanish speaking racists?

The ¿Qué Qué Qué?

People who confuse etymology and entomology bug me in a way I can't put into words

thank you for making my day, u/happy_guy23

It’s important not to confuse metamorphic with igneous rock

After all, you can’t just take this schist for granite.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How do you confuse a historian?

Give them a tampon and ask them what period is it from.

I hate when people confuse "you're" and "your"

There all idiots

I was confused when my boss fired me for constantly having erection at the office

He is the one who told me he liked seeing employees hard at work.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I once stole a jar of orca semen from my friend, the scientist. After a few years, I felt bad, and eventually returned it. My friend was obviously confused by this and said "Thanks, but what is it?" I replied...

"Your whale cum."

Do you know how to confuse a coal miner?

Show him a row of shovels and tell him to take his pick.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

At the National Art Gallery in Dublin, a husband and wife were staring at a portrait that had them completely confused. The painting depicted three black men totally naked, sitting on a bench.

Two of the figures had black penises, but the one in the middle had a pink penis. The curator of the gallery realized that they were having trouble interpreting the painting and offered his personal assessment.

He went on for over half an hour explaining how it depicted the sexual emasculatio...

How do you confuse a Chelsea fan?

Take them to London and ask them for directions.

Why was the Egyptian boy confused?

Because his Daddy was a Mummy.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

People who confuse the words "Burro" and "Burrow"...

... don't know their ass from a hole in the ground.

How do you confuse a reddit user?

You post a brand new joke.

(O.C)

A confused chinese student asks his master: "Master Shi, why do all chinese look the same?"

Then the Master replyed: "I am not master Shi."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was confused the other day when someone told me I can make ice cubes with left over wine.

What the fuck is "left over wine"?

How do you confuse an idiot?

With 6 potatoes!

A woman goes to the doctor's to have a strange mark on her tummy looked at. The doctor said, "Do you by any chance have a boyfriend who attends Wisconsin University?" Confused, the girl asks, "Why do ask?"

The doc chuckles, "I'm not just a doctor, I'm also an amateur detective. It looks like your lover likes to wear a sweater with the initial letter of their university emblazoned on the front. It's mildly abrasive quality has been rubbing on your skin."

"Not bad doc!" she says. "Not bad at all!...

Sometimes I confuse Canadians and Americans

by using big words

I hate when people confused etymology and entomology.

In a word, it bugs me.

Why are baby ants confused?

Because all their uncles are ants.

At first I was confused when my boss told me to go get the Geiger counter…

…but then it clicked.

Dihydrogen Monoxide is a complex term that can confuse many people

But to make it simple, it really just boils down to steam.

Her: Let's exchange numbers

Me: Won't that confuse people who are trying to call us?

I'm not sure what confused the mailman more...

the fact that I came to the door naked, or the fact that I knew where he lived.

I always get Halloween and Valentine's Day confused.

They're both about candy and being something you're not.

Which color confuses an idiot?

Blue

I used to confuse Star Wars with Star Trek.

It was a Wookie mistake.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A blonde is on the bus when this guy gets on with both of his front trouser pockets full of golf balls and sits down next to her. The confused blonde keeps looking at him and his bulging pockets...

He notices her looking and eventually, after many such glances from her, he says, “It’s golf balls.”

Nevertheless, the blonde continues to look at him for a very long time, appearing to think deeply about what he had said.

After several minutes, she can’t contain her curiosity any more...

Why do mathematicians confuse Halloween and Christmas?

Because OCT 31 = DEC 25.

This might be the nerdiest joke I know. Here's a bonus mathematical nerd joke:

Why don't riddles work in octal notation?

Because seven ten eleven.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

how do you confuse a masterbator?

Confused husband

Over breakfast one morning, a woman said to her husband, "I'll bet you don't know what day this is."

"Of course I do," he answered as if he was offended, and left for the office.

At 10:00 a.m., the doorbell rang and when the woman opened the door, she was handed a box of a dozen long s...

A vendor selling ice from a street cart has a sign that says “Ise Stand.” “Mr. vendor, you seem to have accidentally confused the ‘c’ in ‘ice’ for an ‘s.’” The vendor replies, “I’m certain you are mistaken!” The next day, the vendor’s freshly repainted sign reads:

“Ice Stand, Corrected”

Bigfoot is sometimes confused with Sasquatch,

Yeti never complains.

How do you confuse a blonde?

Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

A lost Jewish man walks into a pub. He sits down, confused.

After a while, he decides to call over the bartender.

He asks him, "Excuse me sir, where am I?"

The bartender replies, "Well, this is a bar, mister."

The man gives the bartender a puzzled look.
"I don't see a party", he says.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I haven't had sex since 1956

A woman asked an Army General when the last time he had made love to a woman. The general replied "1956, ma'am." The woman, in disbelief said "1956?! That long? Come with me and let me make your night better." The woman and general went back to her apartment and made passionate love for over an hour...

Have you seen the videos in which people confuse their pets by disappearing unexpectedly?

I’m sick of that sheet.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

NSFW I got confused between the difference between oral and anal

You can imagine my horror when we got told to do a French oral presentation for GCSE

The other day, I noticed a coworker standing in front of our office's new high-capacity paper shredder, looking confused.

"Here, let me help. It's very simple," I said, as I took the thick stack of documents and fed them into the paper insert.

He smiled in relief as the machine whirred. "Thank you so much! Now...where do the copies come out?"

How do you confuse a panda?

You bamboo-zle it.

My English teacher constantly makes fun of me because I confuse my prepositions.

He's always rubbing it out.

I am a little confused as to why everyone keeps giving me LEGOs for my birthday.

I don’t know what to make of it.

New Yorkers confuse me...

Half of them keep saying "fuhgeddaboudit" but the rest of them keep saying "Never forget".

How do I confuse people?

buying condoms and pregnancy testing kits together

Why do Australians always confuse poker with chess?

Because they go "Check... Mate"

How to confuse a waitperson.

I'm not having what she's not having.

MY gf said we where breaking up , i was confused

Then i went out and the signal was lot clearer

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

English is my first language (50+ years) and I still get confused on how to use some words. For example:

Is it *buttcheeks* or *butt cheeks?*

Are they together or spread apart?

How do you make an idiot confused

A Sunday school teacher is concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus, so he asks his class, "Where is Jesus today?"

Steven raises his hand and says, "He's in Heaven."

Mary answers, "He's in my heart."

Little Johnny waves his hand furiously and blurts out, "He's in our bathroom!"

The surprised teacher asks Little Johnny how he knows this.

"Well," Little Johnny says, "every morning, my f...

A man, slightly confused by how his buddy is dressed, asks him, “How long have you been wearing that bra?”

The friend replies, “Ever since my wife found it in the glove compartment."

People who confuse their/there/they're are dumb.

They seriously can't put two and to toogether.

When people talk about the "average citizen" I always get confused.

Is that normal?

I hate it when people confuse reality with metaphors...

It makes my head literally explode!

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.