The 95+ Best Nasa Jokes

Did you hear what NASA's new slogan will be once their budget is cut?

"NASA: The Sky's The Limit"

At 11:59:54 AM at NASA:

6...

5...

4...

3...

2...

1...

Lunch.

How come when NASA shows pictures of their black hole, it’s “breaking news”

But when I show pictures of mine it’s an “HR violation”

Trump's wall will cost 21.6 billion, Nasa's budget is only 19 billion

Probably because Mexico has more aliens

I recently lost my job at NASA Mission Control...

I misheard when someone said "It's lunch time", and sent a rocket up with nobody in it.

How does NASA organise parties?

They Planet

Mars and NASA

Mars: Come over

NASA: You're 33.9 million miles away

Mars: I'm wet

NASA: I'm coming over

NASA's DART spacecraft successfully slams into asteroid.

Just like the Mars Polar Lander did on Mars.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

NASA recently discovered the man with the largest penis in the universe

But they said it wasn't an appropriate thing to put on my resume, and I didn't get the job.

Why didn't nasa send a duck into space?

The bill would be astronomical.

Leaked NASA documents show the Moon landing was done in a Studio.

On the moon.

What was NASA thinking when they decided to fly a rocket into a meteor?

Did I hit or didymos.

Nasa was experimenting with different animals in space.

Monkeys were an obvious choice, but they had no patience. Mice chewed all the cables, dogs were too stupid and chickens were always scared. It seemed the only animal that could cope with the intense stress of space travel was a chilled out alley cat.

After a few months of testing and training...

Job interview at NASA, in 2123.

Interviewer : Can you explain this ten year gap in your resume?

Applicant : Oh, that was when we went to Proxima Centauri, with my previous job.

Interviewer : Impressive! But why didn't you write it in?

Applicant : Oh you know, it was just a two-days trip...

When NASA was preparing for the Apollo project, they did some astronaut training on a Navajo Indian reservation.

One day, a Navajo elder and his son were herding sheep and came across the space crew. The old man, who only spoke Navajo, asked a question, which the son translated, “What are the guys in the big suits doing?”

A member of the crew said they were practicing for their trip to the moon. The old...

What’s the difference between NASA and Reddit?

NASA really wanted the Apollo program to succeed

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Technically, NASA didn't hire Nazis

they were a part of the founding staff.

A Montana cowboy was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud toward him.

The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?" The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefu...

It’s 1961. A Nasa scientist and a soviet scientist have a meeting..

…Nasa scientist:“Well now that we are alone we can speak german to each other.

NASA Scientists were eagerly waiting for the rover to send back the first sounds from Mars.

A program decades in the making, a feat of engineering never before accomplished. Not only did they include high resolution cameras for the landing, but incredibly robust microphones to capture the first sounds from an alien planet.

The team of people were huddled around a lab station for hou...

Why do Republicans hate funding NASA?

NASA aborts rocket launches.

NASA was interviewing professionals to be sent to Mars. Only one could go, and he couldn't return to Earth.

The first applicant, an engineer, was asked how much he wanted to be paid for going. "A million dollars," he answered, "because I want to donate it to M.I.T."

The next applicant, a doctor, was asked the same question. He asked for two million dollars. "I want to give a million to my family", ...

Celebrations were held at NASA today

After the Curiosity rover had discovered feline life on the Planet Mars

Celebrations were wild and rampant until the rover made an unexpected turn and ran over the creature.

A NASA employee was heard saying "Turns out Curiosity Killed the cat"

My Hispanic friend keep telling me that NASA always have sent chicken propelled rockets to space

Look at all the "Apollo" missions, he say

Dear NASA:

Your mom thought I was big enough.–Pluto

Did you hear that NASA found bones on the moon?

The cow didn't make it.

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There are fuckups, there are royal fuckups, and then there was NASA crashing a spaceship because they confused pounds and kilos.

That was an *Imperial* fuckup.

NASA is getting transmission from their moon mission astronauts

"Houston, we have a problem. Russians just landed on the moon."

"It's OK, continue your mission, ignore the Russians."

"Houston, we have a problem. Russians started to paint moon red."

"It's OK, continue your mission, ignore the Russians."

"Houston, we have a problem. Hal...

I heard that NASA is going to send cows into space soon.

The steaks have never been higher.

Breaking news :NASA wants first person to reach Mars, to be a woman.

So that when men arrive, dinner would be ready.

Why didn't NASA name apollo rockets with letters?

Because if Apollo F crashed with all it's crew, they would have to make an Apollo G.

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NASA recently decided to launch Uranus into a black hole

Personally I don't think it's a good idea to be rubbing Uranus and Heranus together.

Nasa kicked me out of their astronaut training programme...

They said I was a waste of space!

Today I learned skeletons are actually barred from joining NASA

Apperantly the job takes guts.

NASA hired Stanley Kubrick to help fake the moon landings

But he was such a perfectionist, he filmed on location.

NASA just announced that there are no cats in Mars

Curiosity killed them

Why did NASA switch to Sprite?

They were unable to get 7up

What award does NASA give the astronauts that board their spacecraft particularly quickly?

The starship -enter-prize.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What does me and NASA have in common

We both want to colonize Uranus.

How did NASA decide to keep the ships warm on board?

Space heaters

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What's the difference between NASA and the NSA?

One seeks to probe Uranus and the other seeks to probe your anus.

NASA Just found water on mars

Mars-1

Africa-0

NASA is opting to replace more and more human astronauts with trained chimpanzees.

They cost peanuts.

NASA's Perseverance rover on Mars has successfully tested a device that can convert carbon dioxide (98% of Mar's atmosphere) into oxygen and carbon monoxide.

Sounds like a great idea, until all the Martians start dying from carbon monoxide poisoning.

It’s 1961, and a NASA scientist is sitting in his office when an intern bursts in

“Sir! Sir! The Russians...”

The scientist looks inquisitively at him. “Yes? What about them?”

The intern takes a moment to catch his breath and says, “The Russians have gone into space!”

The scientist jumps out of his chair. “ALL OF THEM?”

“No, just one.”

The scien...

NASA had a supply of rib eye on the last flight to the international space station to see how meat cooked in space. They called it their most important mission.

Because the steaks were never higher.

How does NASA get away with murder?

They planet

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Be careful with NASA’s toilet paper...

It will leave rings around your anus.

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I hear NASA wants to put the DNA of 6.7 million species on the Moon.

That's a pretty big cum shot if you ask me.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A NASA scientist, Argentinian, and Nazi walked into a bar

He was promptly kicked out.

NASA has been sending animals to space.

They started with a cow and a pig.
But the rocket failed at takeoff and ejected both animals.
The pig was disintegrated on the way back down the earth but the cow survived and landed safely on earth.
At the the press briefing reporters asked the NASA scientists how the cow survived and pig...

NASA is currently investigating why Mars used to be warm and wet and now dry and cold.

My guess is 5-10 years of marriage.

NASA CHICKEN CANON

NASA engineers build a cannon that launches dead chickens at the windshields of airplanes, military jets and such to test the strength of the windshields against collisions with airborne fowl.

British engineers are eager to test it on the windshields of their new high-speed trains. Arrangemen...

Astronauts preparing for STS-134 lobbied NASA to include fresh apples on board the final flight of the shuttle, but were ultimately unsuccessful.

Needless to say, it was a fruitless Endeavour

NASA is currently developing a way to grow cashews on the Moon's soil...

They're calling them Astro-nuts.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Nasa scientists became fed up of jokes on Uranus and decided to change it's name

It's now called Urrectum

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Trump visits NASA...

He called a meeting of all the top scientists and department heads. As a staffer called for quiet, everyone took a seat and Trump stepped up to the lectern and began speaking.

"I'm very happy to be here with the fine people of NASA today. Very happy. As you know, during my campaign I promised...

It's unfortunate that the NASA and SpaceX astronauts weren't social distancing with eachother...

But their PPE is out of this world!

NASA should hire birds for time travel researches.

They have been studying wormholes for thousands if not millions of years before human do.

You should send picture of your ex to NASA.

Apparently they are desperate to get a photograph of A hole that sucks all your time, light and energy.

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NASA.

Just heard NASA is looking for people from diverse backgrounds. Yea, good luck getting black people on a ship to a new world

What is NASA’s favorite part of using a computer?

The SPACE bar!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

NASA found evidence of a parallel universe where time runs backwards.

But we already knew about West Virginia.

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NASA Scientists say its possible to live on Mars.

Bullshit, I tried it and now I'm 15Kg heavier and diabetic

How does NASA identify dead planets?

They look through the orbituaries.

NASA has received reports of a rover on Mars murdering a feline creature

Curiosity killed the cat.

I hear NASA has a plan to send everyone with covid 19 into space

They're calling it a corona mass ejection

How does NASA organize their company parties?

They planet.

[Please take pity on me i am very unfunny :(]

What grade did the NASA employee get on their exam?

A T-minus

Nasa decided to put a random object on all of Saturn's moons

So now there's a tack on Titan.

NASA confirmed that, in the end of the afternoon of day 21, the skies are going to be very dark.

It's a phenomenon called "Night".

Scientists now think cats originated on Mars. NASA was set to retrieve a specimen confirming this,

...but curiosity killed it.

When I die, I'd like to donate my heart to NASA

That way they can finally see what a black hole actually looks like.

What do you call a nun who works at NASA

A physister!

NASA was planning on building a restaurant on the moon

They cancelled because they figured it wouldn't have any atmosphere.

I want to pay respects to the Mars Rover that NASA lost contact with.

It's a missed Opportunity.

Why did NASA cancel the all-female spacewalk?

None of them would go outside the rocket wearing the same outfit.

NASA is finally letting women walk in space.

Probably safer than letting them drive.

One of NASA's first astronauts has recently died.

I know because I just read his orbit.

NASA discovers 10 earth like planets.

Within a month of Trump taking office, NASA has discovered 10 earth like planets...

They say necessity is the mother of invention !!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

NASA job interview

I was interviewing for a cheif of engineering position at NASA, when they asked me what my goals were

I answered: "To land my rocket on Uranus"

They didn't hire me

NASA just announced discovery of oil on Mars

Humans^* are finally going to Mars

^* US Army

The Nasa Parker Solar probe will be 4 million miles away from the sun

Due to the high temperatures it will have to operate at night.

I'd always dreamed of being in NASA but it wasn't what I'd imagined it would be

For one all the people there were very rude. They kept saying things like "You shouldn't be here," "Oh my," and "I CAN'T CATCH HIM HE'S COVERED IN BABY OIL"

Back during the Apollo moon-missions, NASA astronauts left an American flag on the surface of the moon.

Over the years, unfortunately, the sun's harsh cosmic rays have bleached the flag completely white. So, any future visitors to the moon will no longer be able to find any proof that the *US* went to the moon, since the only flag left is the French flag.

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Good luck, Mr. Gorsky

When Apollo Mission Astronaut Neil Armstrong first walked on the moon, he not only gave his famous "One small step for man; one giant leap for mankind" statement, but followed it by several remarks, including the usual COM traffic between him, the other astronauts, and Mission Control. Before he re-...

Mars: I'm wet...

NASA: I'm coming!

Scientists at NASA

Scientists at NASA reported today that they had discovered feline life on Mars. Unfortunately, the Mars rover that discovered the specimen also ran over it just minutes later. Said one scientist "We were all really excited until Curiosity killed the cat."

Why did NASA fly to the Moon?

It's too far to walk

What's the difference between Martha Stewart and NASA??

Martha Stewart teaches cooks and NASA cooks teachers

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Didn't you hear about that scandal at NASA's JPL in Pasadena?

hey guys, did you hear about that story that came to light a few years ago? At Caltech's Jet Propulsion Laboratory (where they assemble a bunch of the spacecraft that they go on interplanetary missions on, such as Voyager 1 & 2, all of the mars probes, and Cassini, for a few examples) round 2010...

NASA should tell the US government they found oil on Mars

And then watch the funding skyrocket

Why does NASA send their workers Sprite?

Because since the Shuttle stopped flying, they can't send 7 Up any more.

In honor of the 30 year anniversary of the Challenger explosion. What does NASA stand for?

Need Another Seven Astronauts

My friend at NASA told me he was very satisfied to discover a lake on Mars.

He told me it was always a wet dream of his.

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