Nasa Jokes - 83 Hilarious Nasa Jokes

Did you hear what NASA's new slogan will be once their budget is cut?

"NASA: The Sky's The Limit"

At 11:59:54 AM at NASA:

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Lunch.

Trump's wall will cost 21.6 billion, Nasa's budget is only 19 billion

Probably because Mexico has more aliens

I recently lost my job at NASA Mission Control...

I misheard when someone said "It's lunch time", and sent a rocket up with nobody in it.

Mars and NASA

Mars: Come over

NASA: You're 33.9 million miles away

Mars: I'm wet

NASA: I'm coming over

How does NASA organise parties?

They Planet

Why didn't nasa send a duck into space?

The bill would be astronomical.

NASA's DART spacecraft successfully slams into asteroid.

Just like the Mars Polar Lander did on Mars.

How come when NASA shows pictures of their black hole, it’s “breaking news”

But when I show pictures of mine it’s an “HR violation”

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NASA recently discovered the man with the largest penis in the universe

But they said it wasn't an appropriate thing to put on my resume, and I didn't get the job.

Job interview at NASA, in 2123.

Interviewer : Can you explain this ten year gap in your resume?

Applicant : Oh, that was when we went to Proxima Centauri, with my previous job.

Interviewer : Impressive! But why didn't you write it in?

Applicant : Oh you know, it was just a two-days trip...

It’s 1961. A Nasa scientist and a soviet scientist have a meeting..

…Nasa scientist:“Well now that we are alone we can speak german to each other.

Nasa was experimenting with different animals in space.

Monkeys were an obvious choice, but they had no patience. Mice chewed all the cables, dogs were too stupid and chickens were always scared. It seemed the only animal that could cope with the intense stress of space travel was a chilled out alley cat.

After a few months of testing and training...

What’s the difference between NASA and Reddit?

NASA really wanted the Apollo program to succeed

When NASA was preparing for the Apollo project, they did some astronaut training on a Navajo Indian reservation.

One day, a Navajo elder and his son were herding sheep and came across the space crew. The old man, who only spoke Navajo, asked a question, which the son translated, “What are the guys in the big suits doing?”

A member of the crew said they were practicing for their trip to the moon. The old...

Recently NASA found bones on the dark side of the moon.

Turns out, the cow never made it.

Leaked NASA documents show the Moon landing was done in a Studio.

On the moon.

A Montana cowboy was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud toward him.

The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?" The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefu...

What was NASA thinking when they decided to fly a rocket into a meteor?

Did I hit or didymos.

Why do Republicans hate funding NASA?

NASA aborts rocket launches.

Celebrations were held at NASA today

After the Curiosity rover had discovered feline life on the Planet Mars

Celebrations were wild and rampant until the rover made an unexpected turn and ran over the creature.

A NASA employee was heard saying "Turns out Curiosity Killed the cat"

Dear NASA:

Your mom thought I was big enough.–Pluto

Breaking news :NASA wants first person to reach Mars, to be a woman.

So that when men arrive, dinner would be ready.

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NASA.

Just heard NASA is looking for people from diverse backgrounds. Yea, good luck getting black people on a ship to a new world

NASA was interviewing professionals to be sent to Mars. Only one could go, and he couldn't return to Earth.

The first applicant, an engineer, was asked how much he wanted to be paid for going. "A million dollars," he answered, "because I want to donate it to M.I.T."

The next applicant, a doctor, was asked the same question. He asked for two million dollars. "I want to give a million to my family", ...

NASA Just found water on mars

Mars-1

Africa-0

Why didn't NASA name apollo rockets with letters?

Because if Apollo F crashed with all it's crew, they would have to make an Apollo G.

Nasa kicked me out of their astronaut training programme...

They said I was a waste of space!

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NASA recently decided to launch Uranus into a black hole

Personally I don't think it's a good idea to be rubbing Uranus and Heranus together.

NASA CHICKEN CANON

NASA engineers build a cannon that launches dead chickens at the windshields of airplanes, military jets and such to test the strength of the windshields against collisions with airborne fowl.

British engineers are eager to test it on the windshields of their new high-speed trains. Arrangemen...

Why did NASA switch to Sprite?

They were unable to get 7up

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What does me and NASA have in common

We both want to colonize Uranus.

How does NASA get away with murder?

They planet

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What's the difference between NASA and the NSA?

One seeks to probe Uranus and the other seeks to probe your anus.

NASA is getting transmission from their moon mission astronauts

"Houston, we have a problem. Russians just landed on the moon."

"It's OK, continue your mission, ignore the Russians."

"Houston, we have a problem. Russians started to paint moon red."

"It's OK, continue your mission, ignore the Russians."

"Houston, we have a problem. Hal...

NASA hired Stanley Kubrick to help fake the moon landings

But he was such a perfectionist, he filmed on location.

Today I learned skeletons are actually barred from joining NASA

Apperantly the job takes guts.

My Hispanic friend keep telling me that NASA always have sent chicken propelled rockets to space

Look at all the "Apollo" missions, he say

NASA has been sending animals to space.

They started with a cow and a pig.
But the rocket failed at takeoff and ejected both animals.
The pig was disintegrated on the way back down the earth but the cow survived and landed safely on earth.
At the the press briefing reporters asked the NASA scientists how the cow survived and pig...

NASA just announced that there are no cats in Mars

Curiosity killed them

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Be careful with NASA’s toilet paper...

It will leave rings around your anus.

NASA Scientists were eagerly waiting for the rover to send back the first sounds from Mars.

A program decades in the making, a feat of engineering never before accomplished. Not only did they include high resolution cameras for the landing, but incredibly robust microphones to capture the first sounds from an alien planet.

The team of people were huddled around a lab station for hou...

How did NASA decide to keep the ships warm on board?

Space heaters

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Trump visits NASA...

He called a meeting of all the top scientists and department heads. As a staffer called for quiet, everyone took a seat and Trump stepped up to the lectern and began speaking.

"I'm very happy to be here with the fine people of NASA today. Very happy. As you know, during my campaign I promised...

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There are fuckups, there are royal fuckups, and then there was NASA crashing a spaceship because they confused pounds and kilos.

That was an *Imperial* fuckup.

Mars: I'm wet...

NASA: I'm coming!

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A NASA scientist, Argentinian, and Nazi walked into a bar

He was promptly kicked out.

How does NASA identify dead planets?

They look through the orbituaries.

Scientists at NASA

Scientists at NASA reported today that they had discovered feline life on Mars. Unfortunately, the Mars rover that discovered the specimen also ran over it just minutes later. Said one scientist "We were all really excited until Curiosity killed the cat."

NASA should hire birds for time travel researches.

They have been studying wormholes for thousands if not millions of years before human do.

How does NASA organize their company parties?

They planet.

[Please take pity on me i am very unfunny :(]

You should send picture of your ex to NASA.

Apparently they are desperate to get a photograph of A hole that sucks all your time, light and energy.

What award does NASA give the astronauts that board their spacecraft particularly quickly?

The starship -enter-prize.

What happens after NASA farts?

It apollogises.

What is NASA’s favorite part of using a computer?

The SPACE bar!

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NASA job interview

I was interviewing for a cheif of engineering position at NASA, when they asked me what my goals were

I answered: "To land my rocket on Uranus"

They didn't hire me

NASA discovers 10 earth like planets.

Within a month of Trump taking office, NASA has discovered 10 earth like planets...

They say necessity is the mother of invention !!

Why does NASA send their workers Sprite?

Because since the Shuttle stopped flying, they can't send 7 Up any more.

NASA is currently developing a way to grow cashews on the Moon's soil...

They're calling them Astro-nuts.

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NASA Scientists say its possible to live on Mars.

Bullshit, I tried it and now I'm 15Kg heavier and diabetic

NASA found a dead feline on Mars.

Turns out, Curiosity killed the cat.

NASA just announced discovery of oil on Mars

Humans^* are finally going to Mars

^* US Army

What do you call a nun who works at NASA

A physister!

How do NASA organise events

They Planet

I used to say 'Only the sky is the limit'

Guess that's why I lost my job at NASA.

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NASA sends probe to Uranus

people everywhere giggle

What grade did the NASA employee get on their exam?

A T-minus

What did the bully say to Nasa?

Gimmie (all) your launch money

Why did NASA cancel the all-female spacewalk?

None of them would go outside the rocket wearing the same outfit.

NASA is finally letting women walk in space.

Probably safer than letting them drive.

One of NASA's first astronauts has recently died.

I know because I just read his orbit.

Why did NASA fly to the Moon?

It's too far to walk

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NASA found evidence of a parallel universe where time runs backwards.

But we already knew about West Virginia.

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I hear NASA wants to put the DNA of 6.7 million species on the Moon.

That's a pretty big cum shot if you ask me.

NASA's Perseverance rover on Mars has successfully tested a device that can convert carbon dioxide (98% of Mar's atmosphere) into oxygen and carbon monoxide.

Sounds like a great idea, until all the Martians start dying from carbon monoxide poisoning.

NASA was planning on building a restaurant on the moon

They cancelled because they figured it wouldn't have any atmosphere.

What's the difference between Martha Stewart and NASA??

Martha Stewart teaches cooks and NASA cooks teachers

When I die, I'd like to donate my heart to NASA

That way they can finally see what a black hole actually looks like.

NASA is currently investigating why Mars used to be warm and wet and now dry and cold.

My guess is 5-10 years of marriage.

NASA sends Blonde to space.

NASA sends a space shuttle up with two monkeys and a blonde on board. While the shuttle is taking off, the NASA command center calls the first monkey and asks, "Monkey #1, do you know your mission?"

The monkey replies, "ooah ooah!. Get the shuttle into orbit and launch the trillion dollar sat...

It's unfortunate that the NASA and SpaceX astronauts weren't social distancing with eachother...

But their PPE is out of this world!

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Picasso, Caravaggio, and Warhol meet in Hell.

They ask for an appointment with god to ask him why they went to hell despite being great artists who gave so much to the world.

God says, "Caravaggio, you were a street gang bully and a literal murderer. Of course you go to hell."

"What about me?" Picasso says.

"Picasso, you tr...

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What's the name of NASA's launch button?

The "Space Bar"

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