Why did nasa order sprite?

Because they couldn't get 7up

I can't believe the NASA/SpaceX Astronauts...

Don't you think they are taking "Social Distancing" a bit **too** seriously?

Did you hear that NASA found bones on the moon?

The cow didn't make it.

NASA had a supply of rib eye on the last flight to the international space station to see how meat cooked in space. They called it their most important mission.

Because the steaks were never higher.

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What does me and NASA have in common

We both want to colonize Uranus.

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NASA found evidence of a parallel universe where time runs backwards.

But we already knew about West Virginia.

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NASA builds a rocket that’s shaped like a penis

One of the workers comes up to the head engineer and asks,

“Will it fly?”

“I’m not sure, but it’ll definitely get up.”

One of NASA's first astronauts has recently died.

I know because I just read his orbit.

NASA was preparing for the Apollo project

When NASA was preparing for the Apollo project, some of the training of the astronauts took place on a Navajo reservation.
One day, a Navajo elder and his son were herding sheep and came across the space crew. The old man, who spoke only Navajo, asked a question that his son translated. "What are...

Astronauts preparing for STS-134 lobbied NASA to include fresh apples on board the final flight of the shuttle, but were ultimately unsuccessful.

Needless to say, it was a fruitless Endeavour

A man traveling in train meets scientist from NASA, ISRO, and CNSA.

After talking to them for a while, finding them willing to answer, being critical of investment in space, he asks NASA "why do you need billions of dollars for?
NASA replies "For the Benefit of All, our technologies trickle down to the military and civilians and then to the world".
He discus...

What award does NASA give the astronauts that board their spacecraft particularly quickly?

The starship -enter-prize.

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NASA.

Just heard NASA is looking for people from diverse backgrounds. Yea, good luck getting black people on a ship to a new world

How does NASA organize a party?

they **PLANET.**

NASA is currently developing a way to grow cashews on the Moon's soil...

They're calling them Astro-nuts.

NASA has said that an engineers pet was crushed during Mars Rover testing

Turns out Curiosity did kill the cat.

After an astronaut fell into a black hole, an official from NASA was explaining the situation to his, now widowed, ex-wife.

"What do you mean he was spaghettified?" The widow interjects.

The official replies, "I'm sorry, Mam. Your husband has... Pasta way..."

Life is so simple unless you work for NASA or SpaceX

Everything else is not rocket science.

I hear NASA has a plan to send everyone with covid 19 into space

They're calling it a corona mass ejection

NASA is finally letting women walk in space.

Probably safer than letting them drive.

How did NASA decide to keep the ships warm on board?

Space heaters

Trump's wall will cost 21.6 billion, Nasa's budget is only 19 billion

Probably because Mexico has more aliens

Did you hear what NASA's new slogan will be once their budget is cut?

"NASA: The Sky's The Limit"

How come when NASA shows pictures of their black hole, it’s “breaking news”

But when I show pictures of mine it’s an “HR violation”

Breaking news :NASA wants first person to reach Mars, to be a woman.

So that when men arrive, dinner would be ready.

NASA should hire birds for time travel researches.

They have been studying wormholes for thousands if not millions of years before human do.

Dear NASA:

Your mom thought I was big enough.

Love, Pluto.

This happened many years ago when Blackberry phones were still popular

A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep yo...

I’d like to think Stanley Kubrick helped NASA Fake the moon landing...

...but he’s such a perfectionist that he probably filmed the whole thing on location.

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Jack is a cowboy working on a large ranch in a remote pasture in Wyoming.

One day as he’s overseeing the livestock on the ranch a brand-new 7 Series BMW suddenly advances towards him creating an enormous cloud of dust in the process

The car stops and the driver is a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray-Ban sunglasses and YSL tie. He steps out of the car and...

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Be careful with NASA’s toilet paper...

It will leave rings around your anus.

At 11:59:54 AM at NASA:

6...

5...

4...

3...

2...

1...

Lunch.

Nasa was experimenting with different animals in space.

Monkeys were an obvious choice, but they had no patience. Mice chewed all the cables, dogs were too stupid and chickens were always scared. It seemed the only animal that could cope with the intense stress of space travel was a chilled out alley cat.

After a few months of testing and training...

First Woman Astronaut talks with NASA:

Woman Astronaut: Ummm...Houston, we have a problem...

NASA: What is the problem?

Woman Astronaut: Nevermind, just forget it.

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Nasa scientists became fed up of jokes on Uranus and decided to change it's name

It's now called Urrectum

When I die, I'd like to donate my heart to NASA

That way they can finally see what a black hole actually looks like.

NASA announced today it discovered a petting zoo on Mars

This comes after an accident in which Curiosity killed the cat.

Why did NASA cancel the all-female spacewalk?

None of them would go outside the rocket wearing the same outfit.

You should send picture of your ex to NASA.

Apparently they are desperate to get a photograph of A hole that sucks all your time, light and energy.

NASA officials were interviewing three prospective astronauts to sent to Mars on a dangerous one-way trip

Only one of the three would go, and that candidate would never return to Earth. The interviewer asked the first candidate, an engineer, how much he wanted to be paid to go.

"One million dollars," replied the engineer, "and I want it donated to my alma mater, Rice University."

The inter...

How does NASA get away with murder?

They planet

What's the difference between Martha Stewart and NASA??

Martha Stewart teaches cooks and NASA cooks teachers

Scientists now think cats originated on Mars. NASA was set to retrieve a specimen confirming this,

...but curiosity killed it.

It’s 1961, and a NASA scientist is sitting in his office when an intern bursts in

“Sir! Sir! The Russians...”

The scientist looks inquisitively at him. “Yes? What about them?”

The intern takes a moment to catch his breath and says, “The Russians have gone into space!”

The scientist jumps out of his chair. “ALL OF THEM?”

“No, just one.”

The scien...

What grade did the NASA employee get on their exam?

A T-minus

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NASA job interview

I was interviewing for a cheif of engineering position at NASA, when they asked me what my goals were

I answered: "To land my rocket on Uranus"

They didn't hire me

How does NASA identify dead planets?

They look through the orbituaries.

Nasa decided to put a random object on all of Saturn's moons

So now there's a tack on Titan.

What is NASA’s favorite part of using a computer?

The SPACE bar!

I want to pay respects to the Mars Rover that NASA lost contact with.

It's a missed Opportunity.

Earth

NASA: Earth is the third planet from the sun.

Trump: I'm going to make it first.

Why did NASA fly to the Moon?

It's too far to walk

I could have been hired to NASA but I was on vacation...

Later, I was mourning the death of an Opportunity.

What do you call a nun who works at NASA

A physister!

I'd always dreamed of being in NASA but it wasn't what I'd imagined it would be

For one all the people there were very rude. They kept saying things like "You shouldn't be here," "Oh my," and "I CAN'T CATCH HIM HE'S COVERED IN BABY OIL"

Mars: I’m wet.

NASA: I’m coming over.

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Trump visits NASA...

He called a meeting of all the top scientists and department heads. As a staffer called for quiet, everyone took a seat and Trump stepped up to the lectern and began speaking.

"I'm very happy to be here with the fine people of NASA today. Very happy. As you know, during my campaign I promised...

What do NASA scientist say in an argument?

Comet me bro!

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When someone ask me if my PC is good I tell them that I actually have a NASA supercomputer...

Because everytime I try to do something, it seems like its loading the entire fucking universe

The Nasa Parker Solar probe will be 4 million miles away from the sun

Due to the high temperatures it will have to operate at night.

Mars and NASA

Mars: Come over

NASA: You're 33.9 million miles away

Mars: I'm wet

NASA: I'm coming over

NASA just announced discovery of oil on Mars

Humans^* are finally going to Mars

^* US Army

Nasa just named a nebula after Muhammad Ali...

...Gaseous Clay

NASA CHICKEN CANON

NASA engineers build a cannon that launches dead chickens at the windshields of airplanes, military jets and such to test the strength of the windshields against collisions with airborne fowl.

British engineers are eager to test it on the windshields of their new high-speed trains. Arrangemen...

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NASA Scientists say its possible to live on Mars.

Bullshit, I tried it and now I'm 15Kg heavier and diabetic

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A guy was recruited for the first settlement on another planet....

The Settlement Chief met him on the landing site.

"This place is going to take some getting used to. It's like a mirror version of Earth. The elements which are rare on Earth are the most abundant here while the common elements are extremely rare."

"So why are we here then," the guy a...

NASA discovers 10 earth like planets.

Within a month of Trump taking office, NASA has discovered 10 earth like planets...


They say necessity is the mother of invention !!

My friend at NASA told me he was very satisfied to discover a lake on Mars.

He told me it was always a wet dream of his.

Why does NASA send their workers Sprite?

Because since the Shuttle stopped flying, they can't send 7 Up any more.

NASA should tell the US government they found oil on Mars

And then watch the funding skyrocket

How does NASA organize their company parties?

They planet.


[Please take pity on me i am very unfunny :(]

Scientists at NASA

Scientists at NASA reported today that they had discovered feline life on Mars. Unfortunately, the Mars rover that discovered the specimen also ran over it just minutes later. Said one scientist "We were all really excited until Curiosity killed the cat."

I'll never forget the moment when NASA accomplished every child's dream

...by blowing up a school teacher.

NASA was planning on building a restaurant on the moon

They cancelled because they figured it wouldn't have any atmosphere.

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A retired astronaut and dabbling writer gets a call from NASA

NASA asks the astronaut to help with the international space station, as he is the only one who knows how to fix the system that needs repairs. The man, a fan of old fashioned writing, requires NASA to let him bring his typewriter on the mission as his one condition to come out of retirement.
...

What happens after NASA farts?

It apollogises.

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NASA sent a probe to all of the planets in our solar system, but quit after Uranus

They found it to be a shithole.

Why Does NASA Have No Competition?

Because they destroyed their last challenger.

What did the bully say to Nasa?

Gimmie (all) your launch money

In honor of the 30 year anniversary of the Challenger explosion. What does NASA stand for?

Need Another Seven Astronauts

BREAKING NEWS: NASA announces Mars Rover discovered new feline-like life form on the Red Planet

Unfortunately, it ran over the newly discovered creature. Yes, it seems Curiosity killed the cat.

How do NASA organise events

They Planet

Back during the Apollo moon-missions, NASA astronauts left an American flag on the surface of the moon.

Over the years, unfortunately, the sun's harsh cosmic rays have bleached the flag completely white. So, any future visitors to the moon will no longer be able to find any proof that the *US* went to the moon, since the only flag left is the French flag.

Did you know that NASA sent a bunch of cows into orbit?

It was the herd shot round the world.

NASA confirmed that, in the end of the afternoon of day 21, the skies are going to be very dark.

It's a phenomenon called "Night".

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