Logician Jokes - 24 Hilarious Logician Jokes

Three logicians walk into a bar.

The barkeeper asks: "Do you all want beer?"

The first one answers: "I don't know."

The second one answers: "I don't know."

The third one answers: "Yes!"

The Logician Husband

A wife asks her husband, "Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk and if they have avocados, get 6."
A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk.

The wife asks him, "Why did you buy 6 cartons of milk?"

He replied, "They had avocados."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Logician

Two men were sitting in a bar one night looking over at a well dressed man standing at the opposite end of the bar. One of the men said "I bet he's a Doctor" whilst the other man says "I bet he's a Lawyer".

Eventually one of the men decides to go and ask him, otherwise it will bug them all ni...

A logician's wife has delivered a baby.

The doctor immediately hands the newborn to the dad.

The wife asks, "Is it a boy or a girl?"

The logician says, "Yes."

A small collection of my favorite science jokes

A neutron walks into a bar and asks the bartender, “How much for a drink?”

“For you, sir, no charge!”

 

What's 2 times 2?

Physicist: “After some measurements I am fairly sure it is somewhere between 3.81 and 4.13!”

Mathematician: “After some consideration ...

A logician has just given birth.

The logicians friend asks her “is it a boy or a girl?”

The logician replies “yes”

Three logicians walk into a bar

The bartender looks them over and says: “You three want drinks?”

The first logician ponders a second and says “I don’t know.”

The second logician similarly ponders and says “I don’t know.”

Hearing this the third breaks out in a big smile and says “Well, apparently we do!”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A scientist, mathematician, and logician are in a car.

A scientist, mathematician, and logician are in the car. They crash and die. The three men appear in heaven on front of St. Peter and Satan. "Gentlemen," Satan began, "Now that Heaven is overcrowded, St. Peter has allowed to limit the amount of people entering. You may ask me a question; if I answer...

Why did the Cannibal logician get a stomach ache?

Someone he ate disagreed with him.

How did the dyslexic logician get invited into the KKK?

In an article about argumentation he wrote that "you're either white or you're wrong."

logician joke (hard to get)

3 logicians walk into a bar. The blonde bartender smiles and says with a mock sigh,

'Hmmm.. Logicians again. I think you're all cute, but you're not ALL going to try to pick me up, are you?'

The first logician says: 'I don't know - maybe?' and looks at the other two.

The second...

A logician is asked to go to get groceries.

His wife said: "Go get a jug of milk. If they have eggs, buy a dozen". Later, his wife said: "Why did you come back with a dozen jugs of milk?" The logician said: "They had eggs."

Did you hear about the constipated logician?

He was able to de-deuce himself through reasoning.

Two logicians are walking down the streets...

When one notices a $100 bill on the ground.

“Look, it’s a hundred dollars”

“No, it can’t be, because if it was a hundred dollars, someone would’ve picked it up already”

Two logicians are having a talk

L0: “Hey! Have I got news for you!”

L1: ”Oh yeah? What is it?”

L0: “I’m gonna be a dad!”

L1: “Wow! That’s terrific news! So, is it going to be a girl or a boy?

L0: “Yes!”

Badum tss!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you hear about the logician who proved he had an enormous cock?

He had a little fallacy.

A biologist, a logician, and a philosopher are driving down the road in County Clare...

They see the profile of a brown cow grazing in an adjacent meadow. The biologist says, "Look, Ireland has brown cows!" The logician says, "No, sir, all we can say for certain is that Ireland has at least one brown cow." The philosopher retorts, "Alas, my fair companions, all we can know for certain ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The logician

First off i wanna say that english is not my first language, also i'm on my phone. I'm not even sure logician is the right way to say it, but you should be able to understand whats going on!

So a man was on his way home from a work trip. He was traveling by train, and it took a few hours....

How does a logician explain why long lines tend to form at the restroom after a movie?

If a lot of people have to urinate, a long line will tend to form. A lot of people *do* have to urinate after a movie, and thus there is a long restroom line. Put a bit more formally:
Pee implies queue. Pee, therefore queue.

Correct answer

The renowned logician, S. F. X. Van Dusen, was walking home through the warren of streets that was late-Victorian Boston when he was accosted by a stranger.

"Can you tell me how to get to the First Presbyterian Church?" he asked.

"Yes," replied the scientist, smiling benevolently, and ...

There are 3 men on a train.

One is an economist, one a logician and one a mathematician. They have just arrived in Ireland and see a brown cow standing in a field from the window of the train (and the cow is standing parallel to the train).

The economist says, ‘Look, the cows in Ireland are brown.”

The Logician ...

What do you call an American linguist, philosopher, cognitive scientist, logician, political commentator, social justice activist, and anarcho-syndicalist advocate who doesn't eat ham?

NO-HAM CHOMPSKY

At a bar, I met an old friend of mine.

We chatted a bit and I asked what he'd become.
"I'm a logician", he said.
"A logician? What's that?", I asked confusedly.
"Well, let me explain. Have you got a fish tank?"
"Err, yes..."
"So you have got fishes, too."
"Indeed."
"If you got fishes, you probably also have children...

Why does a mathematician with tourrettes lead a private life?

A good logician never reveals his ticks.

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