A logician's wife has delivered a baby.

The doctor immediately hands the newborn to the dad.

The wife asks, "Is it a boy or a girl?"

The logician says, "Yes."

3 logicians walk into a bar

The barkeep says, “do you all want a drink? “

The first one says “ I don’t know”
The second one says “I don’t know”
The third one says “yes”

How did the dyslexic logician get invited into the KKK?

In an article about argumentation he wrote that "you're either white or you're wrong."

A logician is asked to go to get groceries.

His wife said: "Go get a jug of milk. If they have eggs, buy a dozen". Later, his wife said: "Why did you come back with a dozen jugs of milk?" The logician said: "They had eggs."

The Logician Husband

A wife asks her husband, "Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk and if they have avocados, get 6."
A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk.

The wife asks him, "Why did you buy 6 cartons of milk?"

He replied, "They had avocados."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you hear about the logician who proved he had an enormous cock?

He had a little fallacy.

How does a logician explain why long lines tend to form at the restroom after a movie?

If a lot of people have to urinate, a long line will tend to form. A lot of people *do* have to urinate after a movie, and thus there is a long restroom line. Put a bit more formally:
Pee implies queue. Pee, therefore queue.

A biologist, a logician, and a philosopher are driving down the road in County Clare...

They see the profile of a brown cow grazing in an adjacent meadow. The biologist says, "Look, Ireland has brown cows!" The logician says, "No, sir, all we can say for certain is that Ireland has at least one brown cow." The philosopher retorts, "Alas, my fair companions, all we can know for certain ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A scientist, mathematician, and logician are in a car.

A scientist, mathematician, and logician are in the car. They crash and die. The three men appear in heaven on front of St. Peter and Satan. "Gentlemen," Satan began, "Now that Heaven is overcrowded, St. Peter has allowed to limit the amount of people entering. You may ask me a question; if I answer...

Two logicians are having a talk

L0: “Hey! Have I got news for you!”

L1: ”Oh yeah? What is it?”

L0: “I’m gonna be a dad!”

L1: “Wow! That’s terrific news! So, is it going to be a girl or a boy?

L0: “Yes!”

Badum tss!

Two logicians are walking down the streets...

When one notices a $100 bill on the ground.

“Look, it’s a hundred dollars”

“No, it can’t be, because if it was a hundred dollars, someone would’ve picked it up already”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Logician

Two men were sitting in a bar one night looking over at a well dressed man standing at the opposite end of the bar. One of the men said "I bet he's a Doctor" whilst the other man says "I bet he's a Lawyer".

Eventually one of the men decides to go and ask him, otherwise it will bug them all ni...

logician joke (hard to get)

3 logicians walk into a bar. The blonde bartender smiles and says with a mock sigh,

'Hmmm.. Logicians again. I think you're all cute, but you're not ALL going to try to pick me up, are you?'

The first logician says: 'I don't know - maybe?' and looks at the other two.

The second...

Three logicians walk into yet another bar.

Bartender: "Ah, logicians. I know what you guys are like. Whatever I ask, at least one of you is going to answer 'I don't know' -- right?"

1st logician: "Uh ..."

What do you call an American linguist, philosopher, cognitive scientist, logician, political commentator, social justice activist, and anarcho-syndicalist advocate who doesn't eat ham?


A small collection of my favorite science jokes

A neutron walks into a bar and asks the bartender, “How much for a drink?”

“For you, sir, no charge!”


What's 2 times 2?

Physicist: “After some measurements I am fairly sure it is somewhere between 3.81 and 4.13!”

Mathematician: “After some consideration ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The logician

First off i wanna say that english is not my first language, also i'm on my phone. I'm not even sure logician is the right way to say it, but you should be able to understand whats going on!

So a man was on his way home from a work trip. He was traveling by train, and it took a few hours....

Variation inspiration

Saw a joke the other day:
" A logician's wife is pregnant and giving birth. The doctor delivers and hands the baby to the logician. His wife, beaming with pride, asked: 'Is it a boy or girl?' The logician replied, 'Yes.' "
That immediately made me think of this variation:
" A Statistician's...

At a bar, I met an old friend of mine.

We chatted a bit and I asked what he'd become.
"I'm a logician", he said.
"A logician? What's that?", I asked confusedly.
"Well, let me explain. Have you got a fish tank?"
"Err, yes..."
"So you have got fishes, too."
"If you got fishes, you probably also have children...

Three men are on a train.

One is an economist, one is a logician, and the other is a mathematician.

They are riding into Scotland, as they pass a brown cow.

The economist says, "Look, the cows in Scotland are brown."

The logician says, "No, there are cows in Scotland of which at least one is brown"

Several scientists were all posed the following question: "What is 2 * 2 ?"

The engineer whips out his slide rule (so it's old) and shuffles it back and forth, and finally announces "3.99".

The physicist consults his technical references, sets up the problem on his computer, and announces "it lies between 3.98 and 4.02".

The mathematician cogitates for a whi...

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