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Spacecraft Jokes

Why did Russia's Luna-25 spacecraft crash into Moon ?

There wasn't any nursery or hospital nearby to aim at.

I used to be a spacecraft engineer.

My efforts were all for naut.

NASA's DART spacecraft successfully slams into asteroid.

Just like the Mars Polar Lander did on Mars.

What's the difference between a spacecraft and an asteroid?

A spacecraft is really light, an asteroid is a little meteor.

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An alien spacecraft lands in a rice paddy in rural Japan...

An alien spacecraft lands in a rice paddy in rural Japan and out comes a silver-suited alien, who floats overs to an old rice farmer standing in amazement.

"HUMAN CREATURE," the alien bellows, "WE LAST VISITED YOUR PLANET A HUNDRED THOUSAND OF YOUR EARTH YEARS AGO. TELL US HOW YOU HAVE EVOLVE...

Russian spacecrafts designed in 1960s don't come around often

Soyuz them wisely.

What award does NASA give the astronauts that board their spacecraft particularly quickly?

The starship -enter-prize.

Where do astronauts leave their spacecraft?

At parking meteors.

How many astronauts does it take to screw a light bulb?

One to screw the lightbulb and several others to prevent the spacecraft from spinning in the same direction.

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It was recently announced that on July 20th, Jeff Bezos and his brother will launch into space on one of his Blue Origin spacecraft

If nothing else, now they will know what it’s like to piss in a bottle

It was the height of the Clone Wars, and Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin had just finished a heated battle against separatist spacecraft.

After making sure that the civilian freighter they were escorting was undamaged, they prepared to hyperspace jump back to Coruscant. However, just as their craft are about to enter lightspeed, a mysterious pulse of energy fries their systems and instead jumps them to a planet they’ve never seen befo...

Aliens and Western Classical Music

In 1977 Nasa launched the Voyager Spacecraft into space. The spacecraft contained multiple pieces of music, among other things, including J. S. Bach's Brandenburg Concerto No. 2. It's likely that extra-terrestrial life will have developed a fondness of German Classical music and will one day come to...

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A Farmer and his wife...

A farmer and his wife were sitting on the front porch enjoying the cool summer evening, when a flying saucer lands in the front yard, a door drops down, an Martian man and woman step off the spacecraft and introduce themselves to the country couple, after a long evening of enjoyable conversation the...

An astronaut who travelled to the edge of the universe noticed an anomalous reading...

...his shuttle readings came back to inform him there was a flat solid matter extending from his location to the universe's horizon, like a path.

He approached cautiously but a black hole suddenly formed behind the ship. The spacecraft went haywire, lights blinking, alarms blaring and he bare...

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Dad, is Santa real?

There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in the world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu, Jewish or Buddhist (except maybe in Japan) religions, this reduces the workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million (according to the popul...

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[NSFW] A married couple was walking down the street..

A married couple was walking down the street when an alien spacecraft landed in front of them.

A married alien couple walked out and said, "Hello, earthlings, we come in peace. We are scientists from the planet GRUDO-X and we want you to tell us all about your planet."

So they talked f...

If trump was notified of an alien invasion.

“There’s an alien spacecraft but it’s not on course to earth.”

“Our specialists, they’re very special people, have concluded that this is just an alien spaceship making a simple flyby our solar system”

“The alien ship is getting close to our american soil but there is nothing to worry ...

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The year: 2029. A brilliant scientist is constructing the first sentient artificial intelligence.

He's working out of his garage in San Francisco, living on charitable donations from his worried friends. He dropped out of college when he realized he could change the world — there's no going back; his life is dedicated to this project. At first, he is met with failure upon failure. But then, he r...

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