Hey girl, are you my Physics examination paper?

Because I can stare at you for 3 hours and not understand a single thing

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My highschool physics teacher always used to say "Time will pass."

"Will you?"

Why did the physics teacher take his class up the mountain?

That is where they have the most potential.

Why did the physics teacher only allow 3 VIPs to his party?

Because he only wanted 3 significant figures.

My physics professor told me I had potential

Then he pushed me off the roof.

This kid in physics class was being mean to me

So I called him the derivative of acceleration.

Women defy the laws of physics...

They are easier to pick up the heavier they get...

I keep asking my physics teacher

I keep asking my physics teacher "what is the unit for power?"

But he just keeps responding with "yes."

I love Physics, but I'm terrible at Math.

I hope in doesn't Matter.

I had a female Physics teacher in my school.

One day, a guy asked her, "What is the unit of power?"

"That's watt", she said.

A physics teacher writes a question on a board

"A 40 kg child that 100 cm tall is holding a parent's arms swinging them 0.5 revolutions a second. If the parent let go of the child after 2 seconds, where will the child end up?"

A few moments later, the teacher then comes over and reads a student's answer:

"In a foste...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A physics professor asks this question in his class.

If a plane is flying in South East direction at 795 miles an hour and it takes a torque of 58000 N/m2 to unscrew a nut from the main pillar of Brooklyn Bridge, then calculate my age as of today?

The ivy league geniuses in the class immediately went to work. Firing up thier computers and calc...

I wanted to propose my friend in physics way but...

Me: you attract me like gravity
Her: then move with escape Velocity to stop that attraction

A baby was upset because a lizard that spoke of theoretical physics wouldn't climb the crib.

The mother began to comfort the baby.

"Mama's gonna buy you a Hawking bird."

What’s the most terrifying word in nuclear physics?


Ever wonder what the love life of a high school physics teacher is like?

Assume there is no friction.

At the end of the physics lecture, I asked my professor, “What happened before The Big Bang?”

He said, “Sorry. There is no time.”

My physics teacher told me i had so much potential, so much energy

Then i fell down the stairs and lost it all

A physics student ask his teacher

A physics student ask his teacher: "Can you point me to someone who can teach me a way in which quantum mechanics can be united with general relativity"
The teacher answers: "I'll see if I can pull some strings for you"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"As has often been noted, physics is to math what sex is to masturbation"

Student : "So you're saying both fields are good, but without an attempt to understand the universe, the search for deeper mathematical truth is empty?"

Professor : "I'm saying you'll spend most of undergrad doing math."

I really liked learning about displacement in Physics.

It's pretty straight to the point.

Some people think nuclear physics is interesting

Well, in my opinion it's really Bohring

The frequency of bad physics jokes in this sub...

It Hertz

An old professor of Particle Physics and his assistant were having beers at a pub in London when the conversation drifted to the experiments with the Large Hadron Collider near Geneva, Switzerland.

The assistant mentioned one of the wonderous things the famous particle collider can do. "The Collider can accelerate protons," the assistant began.

The professor smiled and said, "Yes, I've seen it do that, personally."

Surprised and intrigued that his mentor had worked with ...

How do fat people defy the laws of physics?

They have mass but they don’t matter.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Physics Teacher's Story

Speed and Velocity are brothers.

Velocity went to college and got a science degree with which he's earning a six figure salary.

Speed dropped out and still lives with his parents in their basement.

Speed lacks Direction.

Why did the biology teacher and rhe physics teacher break up?

Because they had no CHEMISTRY.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two students are taking a physics exam

One of them enters and the professor says:

-Imagine you are riding a train and its really hot inside. What would you do?

-Well,i'd open the window.

-Excellent. Now, the windows surface is 1,5m^2, your compartments volume is 12m^3, train is going west at the speed of 80km/h, the ...

Why do physics professors prefer overweight students?

They have greater potential.

A Level Physics lmao

Why was the physicist studying gravitational fields so much more handsome than the one studying electrical fields?

Electrical Fields are repulsive sometimes, but Gravitational Fields are always attractive.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Physics Student

Some time ago, I received a call from a colleague who asked if I would be the referee on the grading of an
examination question. He was about to give a student a zero for her answer to a physics question, while the student
claimed she should be given a perfect score and would, if the system we...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I might become a physics teacher to get laid...

I always hear people going into Physics exams saying "I'm so fucked"

What do the laws of physics and the predsident of Russia have in common?

You can't choose them

Can anyone recommend me a book that made you cry?

\- Problems in General Physics. I read that in high school, and it still gives me the creeps.

A physics teacher is about to jump off a high bridge

When a friend stops him saying, "Don't do it, you have so much potential."

What is better than a physics joke?

A meta physics joke.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.