Hey girl, are you my Physics examination paper?

Because I can stare at you for 3 hours and not understand a single thing

The relationship between the Physics teacher and biology teacher in my brother's school didn't last long...

They had no chemistry et. al.

My Physics teacher said to me: you have a lot of potential. You should use it.

We were at the top of the building.

At the end of the physics lecture, I asked my professor, “What happened before The Big Bang?”

He said, “Sorry. There’s No Time.”

Physics is oppressive

All it does is keep us down.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The guy decides that maybe he'd like to have a pet and goes to a pet shop. After looking around, he spots a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs.

The guy says out loud, "Geez, I wonder what happened to this parrot?"

"I was born this way," says the parrot. "I'm a defective parrot."

"Ha, ha," the guy laughs. "It sounded like this parrot actually understood what I said and answered me!"

"I understood every word," says the pa...

According to actual laws of physics, you do NOT need a parachute to go skydiving.

However, you do need one to go skydiving twice.

I just learned that my college physics professor had a heart attack and died after climbing Mount Everest....

It’s so sad. He had so much potential

My physics teacher asked what I think it’d be like to walk in a town at night only illuminated by candles

I said it would be pretty lit.

I mixed up the temperature units when doing my Physics test

As a result, I got an absolute zero.

A physics teacher writes a question on a board

"A 40 kg child that 100 cm tall is holding a parent's arms swinging them 0.5 revolutions a second. If the parent let go of the child after 2 seconds, where will the child end up?"



A few moments later, the teacher then comes over and reads a student's answer:



"In a foste...

I keep asking my physics teacher

I keep asking my physics teacher "what is the unit for power?"


But he just keeps responding with "yes."

They're serving mystery meat at the cafeteria in the physics lab again.

I've been asking what the main ingredient they put in their heisenburgers was, and nobody knows.

My physics professor took an entire class to lecture us about Cole’s law

Turns out, it’s just thinly sliced cabbage

Why can Einstein rank only 2nd among all physics?

Newton's first law

[OC] My pen stopped working during my physics exam

I shaked the pen forward and backwards constantly and I managed to write more with it.
Physics did not fail me that day , but man i did sure fail physics.

Physics teacher: James, what do you call the standard measurement of power?

James: What?

Teacher: Oh, I guess you were paying attention.

I had a female Physics teacher in my school.

One day, a guy asked her, "What is the unit of power?"

"That's watt", she said.

Why did the physics teacher only allow 3 VIPs to his party?

Because he only wanted 3 significant figures.

Women defy the laws of physics...

They are easier to pick up the heavier they get...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My highschool physics teacher always used to say "Time will pass."

"Will you?"

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"As has often been noted, physics is to math what sex is to masturbation"

Student : "So you're saying both fields are good, but without an attempt to understand the universe, the search for deeper mathematical truth is empty?"

Professor : "I'm saying you'll spend most of undergrad doing math."

This kid in physics class was being mean to me

So I called him the derivative of acceleration.

My physics teacher told me i had so much potential, so much energy

Then i fell down the stairs and lost it all

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A physics professor asks this question in his class.

If a plane is flying in South East direction at 795 miles an hour and it takes a torque of 58000 N/m2 to unscrew a nut from the main pillar of Brooklyn Bridge, then calculate my age as of today?

The ivy league geniuses in the class immediately went to work. Firing up thier computers and calc...

Hundreds of years after their deaths, Galileo, Leonardo Da Vinci, and Marco Polo are walking in heaven and decide to have a conversation with Jesus...

Galileo says, “Jesus, I’ve been thinking about my past life on Earth, and I wanted to know what I am remembered for all these years later.”

Jesus pauses and replies, “Galileo, you are remembered as the Father of Modern Physics. By being one of the first to apply mathematics to motion, you le...

What’s the most terrifying word in nuclear physics?

"Oops"

Everyone knows I am extremely smart

After all I have a theoretical degree in physics

A physics student ask his teacher

A physics student ask his teacher: "Can you point me to someone who can teach me a way in which quantum mechanics can be united with general relativity"
The teacher answers: "I'll see if I can pull some strings for you"

Why is it best to teach physics on the edge of a cliff? (Original joke)

Because that's where students have the most potential.

The frequency of bad physics jokes in this sub...

It Hertz

Ever wonder what the love life of a high school physics teacher is like?

Assume there is no friction.

Did you hear about the physics student who committed suicide by jumping of a building?

A shame, really. He had so much potential.

I really liked learning about displacement in Physics.

It's pretty straight to the point.

Why do physics professors prefer overweight students?

They have greater potential.

I love Physics, but I'm terrible at Math.

I hope in doesn't Matter.

Physics student asks to go to bathroom

Professor asks "Liquid, Solid or Gas"

Some people think nuclear physics is interesting

Well, in my opinion it's really Bohring

A physics teacher is about to jump off a high bridge

When a friend stops him saying, "Don't do it, you have so much potential."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Physics Teacher's Story

Speed and Velocity are brothers.

Velocity went to college and got a science degree with which he's earning a six figure salary.

Speed dropped out and still lives with his parents in their basement.

Speed lacks Direction.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two students are taking a physics exam

One of them enters and the professor says:

-Imagine you are riding a train and its really hot inside. What would you do?

-Well,i'd open the window.

-Excellent. Now, the windows surface is 1,5m^2, your compartments volume is 12m^3, train is going west at the speed of 80km/h, the ...

An old professor of Particle Physics and his assistant were having beers at a pub in London when the conversation drifted to the experiments with the Large Hadron Collider near Geneva, Switzerland.

The assistant mentioned one of the wonderous things the famous particle collider can do. "The Collider can accelerate protons," the assistant began.

The professor smiled and said, "Yes, I've seen it do that, personally."

Surprised and intrigued that his mentor had worked with ...

How do fat people defy the laws of physics?

They have mass but they don’t matter.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Physics Student

Some time ago, I received a call from a colleague who asked if I would be the referee on the grading of an
examination question. He was about to give a student a zero for her answer to a physics question, while the student
claimed she should be given a perfect score and would, if the system we...

I got caught cheating on my physics exam. Furious, my professor said to me "I hope you understand the gravity of the situation".

But if I had known that, I wouldn't be in this situation in the first place.

A Level Physics lmao

Why was the physicist studying gravitational fields so much more handsome than the one studying electrical fields?




Electrical Fields are repulsive sometimes, but Gravitational Fields are always attractive.

Guy goes into a bar in California where there is a robot bartender.

The robot asks, “What will you have?” The guy replies, “Whisky.” The robot brings back his drink and asks, “What’s your IQ? The guy says, “168.” The robot continues to talk about physics, space exploration, and medical technology.

After the guy leaves the more he thinks about it,...

What do the laws of physics and the predsident of Russia have in common?

You can't choose them

According to physics, light travels faster sound...

... If that's really the case though, why can I hear the car behind me honk before I see the traffic lights change?

What is better than a physics joke?

A meta physics joke.

Why can you tell that Theresa May failed physics?

She had power and time but didn't get the work done.

Creds to my friend for that one.

Right after I got my PhD in theoretical physics, I was able to land a job at Stanford!

My first shift starts tomorrow, after the senior janitor gives me a quick rundown.

Everyone knows Albert Einstein because of his research in physics. But most people don’t know about his brother who did research in monster making...

His name was Frank

We had a lively debate in physics...

It was a conversation of energy

I failed my physics exam today.

They asked me to give examples of superconductors. Apparently 'The French Resistance' was not an acceptable answer.

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