Did you hear about that theoretical physicist who went insane studying cosmic background radiation?

He said he couldn't tell where reality ended... and the paranoid delusions began!

A guy walks into a bar wearing a head to toe radiation suit

The bartender says “I’ve heard of clothing that protects you from the elements, but this is outrageous”

What do you call quantums of electromagnetic radiation that don't get along?

Foe-tons

Jedi Master finally named after being found dead from radiation poisoning in Ukraine

Obi Wan Chernobi

Did you know that Solar Radiation has turned the American Flags on the Moon White?

Great... Now people will think France has been there

The American flag that was planted on the moon has turned white due to solar radiation.

Now future historians will think the French got there first.

Did u know that al the flags on the moon have been bleached white due to radiation?

This makes the moon an official province of France

Babe, you can call me Solar Radiation.

Because I'm about to get caught up in your ozone.

Why are hippy drum circles like high frequency radiation?

They both cause the formation of free radicals.

If they could prove cell phones give deadly radiation

You could say to people you don't like "cant talk right now, you're giving me cancer"

What did the Ukrainian Scientist receive after discovering the dangers of radiation?

A Chernobel Prize.

What do you call an insect that gets exposed to radiation but nothing of consequence happens to it?

A moot ant

TIL grizzly bears are not harmed by microwave radiation.

In fact, they are one among several species of non-polar bear!

If four out of five people suffer from radiation poisoning...

Does that mean the fifth one enjoys it?

Shortly after the Chernobyl incident...

...China, America, and Germany came too help with their state of the art cleanup robots, and sent them out to show them off to each other.

The Chinese robot broke down even before it could reach the cleanup site.

The Americans cheered as their robot performed its task in the highly i...

The flag planted on the moon is now completely white, since it has been bleached by decades of cosmic radiation...

The US should replace the flag sometime soon, we don't want people to think the French were the first to complete a lunar landing!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy was recruited for the first settlement on another planet....

The Settlement Chief met him on the landing site.

"This place is going to take some getting used to. It's like a mirror version of Earth. The elements which are rare on Earth are the most abundant here while the common elements are extremely rare."

"So why are we here then," the guy a...

What’s the difference between light and dark soy sauce?

I asked Alexa, what’s the difference between light and dark soy sauce?

Dark soy sauce is used in Chinese cooking to add colour and flavour to dishes. Light is an electromagnetic radiation within a certain portion of the electro magnetic spectrum.

Thanks Alexa - you’re not technically w...

What is the difference between reality and fantasy?

In fantasy, if you're exposed to radiation, you become spider-man. In reality if your exposed to radiation, you get visited by spider-man

5 years after Chernobyl disaster, father and son are fishing near river.

“Dad, dad is it true that there was huge disaster and radiation everywhere when I was born?”

“Yeah, it was terrible” and he cuddled his head.

“Is it true as well, that it caused many animal mutations, like 3 eyed fish we got last week?”

“True as well, my smart one” and he cuddle...

What do you call the fallout from an Israeli nuke?

Zionizing radiation.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

11 Reasons To Go To Work Naked

1. Your boss is always yelling, "I wanna see your ass in here by 8:00!"
2. Can take advantage of computer monitor radiation to work on your tan.
3. Inventive way to finally meet that hunk in Human Resources.
4. "I'd love to chip in, but I left my wallet in my pants."
5. To stop tho...

I noticed a nuclear fusion reactor the other day in my backyard.

While in my backyard the other day, I noticed a large gravitationally confined plasma thermo-nuclear fusion reactor. Being an engineer, I saw that it was radiating huge amounts of energy at very high velocity in the form of incredibly high frequency transversely polarized Maxwellian electromagnetic ...

Your momma's so fat

She gives off Hawking radiation

When is being an "Alpha" not a good thing in the dating world?

When you are a type of radiation. No one wants someone who can't penetrate well.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A sciencey joke for y'all.

An American nuclear engineer is talking with a Japanese nuclear engineer about a new material they're planning on using for gamma radiation shielding. The Japanese engineer asks if he can see it in action, so the American takes a piece of iron about 3 inches thick and puts in front of a gamma source...

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