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Kenny Jokes

What did Kenny Rogers say when his tire came off?

“You picked a fine time to leave me loose wheel”

This farmer has about 500 hens, but no rooster, and he wants chicks. So, he goes down the road to the next farmer and asks if he has a rooster that he would sell.

The other farmer says, "Yep, I've got this great rooster, named Kenny. He'll service every chicken you got, no problem." Well, Kenny the rooster costs $3,000, a lot of money, but the farmer decides he'd be worth it. So, he buys Kenny.

The farmer takes Kenny home and sets him down in the barny...

I changed all my passwords to “Kenny”

Now I have all Kenny Logins.

Story about Kenny Loggins

Was reading this story today about Top Gun, and found another story about Kenny Loggins. Apparently he was part of a recent program to clone musicians and artists, to isolate and modify the genes responsible for creativity. There was a limit of the number of clones that could be created, and at one ...

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Kenny the rooster.

A couple saw an Ad for a rooster named Kenny in the paper for 100.00 and got curious. They called the seller and asked why he was so expensive. He said the rooster will fertilize everything he can get ahold of, and was a sure thing. He even talks occasionally. They went to see him.

When t...

Q&A Time w/Hillary Clinton

Hillary Clinton goes to a gifted-student primary school in New York to talk about the world. After her talk she offers to answer questions from the kids.

One little boy puts up his hand. Hillary asks him what his name is.

"Kenny," he says.

"And what is your question, Kenny?" she...

What would you call Kenny Loggins if he was severed at the ankle?

Footloose.

I know Kenny Loggins...

But sadly I don’t have his password.

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Kenny brought his pet cat to school on tuesday.

The teacher confused replied, "Why do you have your pet today? You know well that Monday is show and tell."

Kenny replied, "I meant to save his life. I heard my dad say 'Once kenny leaves for school, I'm goin to eat that fuckin pussy,' to my mom."

Kenny Rogers has died at the age of 81

In a statement to confused reporters, Kenny Loggins was quoted as saying “I’m alright, Don’t nobody worry bout me”

(It’s a Caddyshack joke)

One thing we can say about Kenny Rogers...

He certainly knew when to fold ‘em.

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Thinking about getting a guard dog and calling him Kenny Doggins

Any unwelcome vistors will be stepping right into the Danger Zone.

If Kenny Loggins forgets his WiFi password...

Ken he log in?

Driving down a treacherous highway pass Kenny’s car suddenly veers off an embankment...

After coming to a halt he looks at the wreck and realizes the front tire and rim had come off causing the crash. He then sings out “You picked a fine time to leave me loose wheel”

What does Kenny G fantasize about every night?

Saxual intercourse.

Kenny G walks into an elevator and says

“Man, this place is HAPPENING!”

Kenny Rogers was a video game purist who insisted on teaching his kids the correct way to play.

He said, "if you're gonna play the Gameboy, you gotta learn to play it right."

I saw a story about how Itzhak Perlman and Kenny G discovered they'd been dating the same woman. An argument about it quickly degenerated into a full on brawl!!

That's the trouble with the news today, its all sax and violins.

Why do scottish people sing 'Danger Zone' when they forget their password?

Because they Kenny Loggin.

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Life in a mental hospital

A nurse walks into a room and sees a patient pretending he's driving a Truck, with his hands at 10 to 2. The nurse asks him, 'Kenny! What are you doing?' Kenny replies, 'Can't Talk right now I'm driving to LA !' The nurse wishes him a good trip and leaves the room.

The next day the nurse ent...

So I was in a wrestling match in highschool

It was senior night, I was in the 185 lb weight class and our team desperately needed the points from my bout. The only problem was I up against killer Kenny D from Spartanburg. Dude was going Division 1 and was all state. I didn't think I had a chance against him and his signature pretzel move. Thi...

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Joke from my jazz history class: You are stuck on an island with Hitler, Stalin, and Kenny G. You have a gun, but you only have two bullets. What do you do?

You shoot Kenny G. Twice.

Read the following out loud...

Alpha Kenny Body

Walks into a bar

Kenny Rogers, Styx and Jerry Lewis walk into a bar. they sit down at a table and no one waits on them for several minutes. They all notice a waitress at the same time and try calling to her.

Styx: layyyyyyydy,
Kenny Rogers: Laydddy
Jerry Lewis: Laaaaaaaaaaaaady,

What do you call the authentication information used to enter the Danger Zone?

Kenny Log-ins

Rich guy showing off.

In a locker room, a phone rings and Kenny picks it up and puts it on speaker.

Kenny- "Hello?".

Woman- "Hi honey!".

Kenny- "Whos this?".

Woman- "Its amanda. Your wife?".

Kenny- "Oh! Sorry honey, I just picked
up the phone and didnt see who was calling. What ...

Two judges were stumbling home from their local pub

Two judges were stumbling home from their local pub, arms around each other, loudly singing Kenny Rodgers.

“Hey," said one, "I think we're drunk."

“You’re right, and according to the law I will have to charge you with being drunk and disorderly. You’ll have to appear before me at 10AM ...

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Tragedy

Enda kenny was visiting a primary school and the class was in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings.
The teacher asked Mr Kenny if he would like to lead the discussion on the word 'Tragedy'.

So, Irelands illustrious leader asked the class for an example of a 'Trage...

Did you hear that the guy that wrote Danger Zone had his identity stolen online?

They got all his Kenny logins

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Little Johnny.

A kindergarten teacher told her students she was going to recite the alphabet and ask them to give her a word that begins with each letter. She began..."A". A few students raised their hands, including Little Johnny. The teacher thought to herself "I can't call on Little Johnny for the answer, he'll...

What is South Park's creator, Matt Stone, favorite drink?

An ice cold KilKenny

"That is him." I said to my wife in the shopping centre.

"That's Kenny Baker, the actor who played R2D2 in Star Wars."

"Are you sure?" she asked. "It doesn't look like him, go on over and ask."

A couple of minutes later I walked back over to her. "Well, what did he say?"

"Nothing." I said. "It's a rubbish bin."

What do you call two Irish gunfighters in a duel?

Kenny Killarney and Arny Kilkenny.

A father has 3 daughters and they each got boyfriends without the father knowing,

He finds out when all 3 daughters have dates the same night for the same time. He decides he’ll meet them at the door and see if they’re acceptable. The first boyfriend shows up on time, he’s greeted by the father and says “Hi I’m Joe, I’m here to pick up Flo, and we’re gonna go see a show.” The fat...

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