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Barker Jokes

RIP Bob Barker, host of The Price is Right, dead at 99

You gotta give him credit, going right up to the edge of 100, without going over.

Bob Barker was dedicated to getting pets spayed and neutered

Say what you want but that took alot of balls

Sure, Bob Barker may have died at 99 years old...

...but Betty White was closer to 100 without going over, so... She wins.

RIP to longtime ‘the Price is Right’ host Bob Barker

He’s still alive, but he’s 95 years old, and I want my guess to be closest without going over.

I hope that when Bob Barker passes into the great beyond the voice he hears isn't saying...

Come on down

Bob Barker died last night

Hey got hit by a *BRAAAAAAAND NEW CAR*

Bob Barker was in an accident yesterday :(

He was trying to cross the street, and got hit by *A BRAAAAAAAAAAAND NEWWWWWWWWWWWWW CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!!!!!!*

What was the difference between Lorena Bobbitt and Bob Barker?

Bob Barker was a slick pricer

What do you call a dog in a circus?

A carnival barker

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Hey, it happens as you get older

NSFW

30 years ago I saw a sideshow that touted, "Harold, the Magnificent Jew"

Intrigued I paid the entrance fee and had a seat in a packed tent with about 50 others.

In the back of the tent was a table on a small stage. The sideshow barker came out with a large fellow in just a ...

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The story of Mr. Green.

Mrs. Barker, Elementary school teacher,was telling her students a wonderful story. It was for the English lesson that Mrs. Barker improvised to keep her lessons engaging. This was one off her stories.

Once there was once a world where humans were either red, yellow or green.

One day ...

What do you get when you cross a dog with a sharpie?

A permanent barker!

What do you call a dog that wants to know everyone's business?

A nosey barker

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Three Dogs Are Sitting in the Vet's Waiting Room

The dogs ask each other what they're in for.

The first dog sadly says, "I just can't help myself when it comes to the mailman. I just get so angry when he walks up to the door that I bit him. Now I'm being put to sleep."

The second dog says, "Oh no, that's terrible. I'm a barker myself...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

As a kid I was told that, "Every time you masturbate, God kills a kitten."

Also when I was a kid I was told by Bob Barker to, "..help control the pet population."

I was raised to listen to my elders...

A magician is traveling through Europe performing his flashy new fountain-pen act

He sells out shows in Paris, London, Berlin, Prague, and Amsterdam. People begin calling him "Bic Jesus"

Everywhere he went, crowds would gather to see him perform his Montblanc mastery. Men wanted to be him, and women wanted to be with him.

This all changed one fateful spring day. The...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Opporknockity, and a short collection of other terrible music jokes

Mr. Opporknockity is a superb piano tuner. He has spent more than 30 years honing his craft and has made quite a reputation for himself.

He got a call from a guy who had just bought a new grand piano and requested Mr. Opporknockity to come and tune it. Mr. Opporknockity spent more than 3 hour...

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