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Brendan Jokes

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After Brendan Fraser won an Oscar for The Whale, my wife suggested we make a movie about my penis.

The Minnow.

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Brendan O'Brian

Brendan O'Brian is sitting at a bar, noticeably down. The bartender asks what's wrong and he says,
"You see that church over there? I built that church with my own two hands. But no one ever says, 'There goes Brendan O'Brian, the church builder.'
And did you know I'm a decorated professor at...

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Why I’m getting a divorce

I woke up the morning of my 43rd birthday. Expecting something similar to previous years, I freshened up and walked into the kitchen. To my surprise and disappointment, my wife did not acknowledge my birthday at all. Even my kids had forgotten and didn’t say anything. I little taken back. I complete...

Two Irish guys walk into a pet shop

Seamus heads straight over to the back of the shop, knowing what he's looking for, and Finton follows shortly behind.

"Dats dem up der!" Says Seamus, pointing at high up bird cage. "Oi'll tek two a dem budgies up der," He says to the shopkeeper, "an wouldya put em in a pepper bag?"

So...

2 Irishmen walking down a country road

One of the men says to the other, “Paddy look!, there’s a gravestone of a man who lived to 250 years old!”

Paddy says “What was his name?”

Brendan replies “Miles to London”

So Danny Ings is about to play his first game for Liverpool...

...Brendan Rodgers says: "We'll give you 45 minutes, then pull you off at half time."
Danny exclaims: "That's brilliant, we only used to get an orange at Burnley"

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