UPJOKE
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Husband goes to a police station, says ‘My wife is missing!’

Husband goes to a police station...
“My wife is missing! She went out yesterday and has not come home...”

Sergeant at Police Station:
“What is her height?”

Husband:
“Gee, I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall

Sergeant:
“Weight?”

Husband:
“Don't know. N...

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It’s Christmas Day

A little girl was riding her new bike and pulled up to a stoplight. A police officer on horseback pulled up to the same stop and looked at the girl

Cop: nice bike, did Santa give it to you?

Girl: he sure did!

Cop: *writes a $20 citation* okay, next year tell Santa that the bike ...

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A man and his wife are driving down the road when a cop pulls them over.

The cop says to the man:

\- Do you know that you were speeding, sir?
\- No officer, I didn't know I was speeding...

The wife then says:

\- Come on, Henry, you knew you were speeding, I've been telling you to slow down for miles.

The man shoots a dark look at his wife...

...Another Blonde Joke

A blonde waves down a taxi cab near a street corner. As she opens the rear door, the Taxi driver asks her to check the rear lights to ensure the blinkers are working... The Blonde steps to the rear of the taxi and yells out, "Yes... No... Yes... No..."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My favourite police joke

It's getting dark and little Jimmy is riding home on his new bike. He notices that a policeman on a horse is following him. The policemen asks Jimmy to pull over.

Then he starts talking: "That's a nice bike you have there. Did you get this from Santa?"

"Yes I did."

"Well next ti...

Help needed!

I need some advice on a pretty serious decision.

I've suspected for some time now that my girlfriend has been having an affair. There have been a few signs which I think I may be taking the wrong way and wouldn't like to falsely accuse her, but the number of these little warning flags keeps i...

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