What's got four wheels, no wings, and flies?

A rubbish truck.

WANTED: A man has been stealing wheels off of police cars

It’s safe to say the police are working tirelessly to catch him.

I just got a wooden motorcycle. It has a wooden frame, wooden handle bars, wooden wheels, and a wooden seat. Guess what?

It wooden start.

A man is sitting in a new sports car when a little girl pulls up beside him on her new bicycle she just received for Christmas. She knocks on his window, which he rolls down to see what she wants.

"Wanna race, mister?" she asks, ringing her bell and twirling the elastic streamers on her handlebars.

"Sure," the man laughs. The light turns green and he floors the pedal. The car takes off like a shot and he leaves the little girl in the dust.

A few seconds later though, he sees som...

A man gets a flat tire outside the fence of an insane asylum.

While he's changing the tire he sees a patient on the other side of the fence observing him so he hurries. He gets the flat off and puts the spare on, but since he was rushing to get out of there, he accidentally drops all 4 lug nuts down a drain. While he's standing there staring at the spare wit...

I'm fair-skinned.

I have tattoos of ferris wheels, tilt-a-whirls and sno-cones.

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Poor Nimbad.

Has to travel 6 miles every day for fresh

water on a bike with no wheels and no seat.

Send us just £2 a month,

and we will send you the DVD. It's fucking hilarious.

Why are fire trucks red?

Because they have eight wheels and four people, and eight plus four is twelve. Twelve inches is a foot, and a foot is a ruler. Queen Elizabeth is also a ruler, but queen Elizabeth is also a ship, and ships sail the seas, and seas have fish, and fish have fins, and the Fins fought the Russians, Russi...

A teenage boy takes a quadriplegic girl on a date to dinner and the movies. At the end of the night out, he drives her back home and they start making out in his car.

He tells the girl he feels uncomfortable doing this where her parents could come outside and catch them in the act. She says not to worry because she has a place they can go.

So he helps her in her chair and she tells him to wheel her into the backyard. When they get in the back, she shows hi...

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Tales from the front line

Back in my Army days (mid 80s) we were on a winter training exercise with the medical battalion. Our platoon was assigned the job of being casualties for the treatment company.

They assigned us our roles told us what injuries we were supposed to have sustained then dispatched us out in the Bu...

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An oldie I haven't seen here yet...

So this lady is driving along when BAM one of her tyres gets a puncture so she pulls over to the side of the road. She takes off the wheel with the flat tyre so she can change to her spare, but just as she takes it off a big dog runs past and knocks all 4 lug nuts down a nearby drain.

As she ...

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A love story

A Love Story


Micro was a real time user and a dedicated multi-user. His broad-band protocol made it easy for him to interface with numerous input/output devices, even if it meant time sharing.

One evening Micro arrived home just as the sun was crashing. He had parked his Motorola ...

My dad works for a company that makes bicycle wheels....

He's the spokesman.

My boss told me my chair was NSFW...

One of the wheels was missing!

It's hard for me to drive my car with loose wheels this month.

Afterall, it is No Nut November!

A 60 year old man named Bill goes to get his physical.

When his doctor is finished, he shakes his head. "Bill, you're a 60 year old man, you have the body of a guy in his 40's. You're in better health than most patients I see. I have to ask - how old was your dad when he died?"

"WHAT?", Bill bellows, "Who says Dad's dead?" The doctor starts t...

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Can you spare just $2.00?

Ranji is a 9 year old boy living in Namibia. He has only one leg, one arm and one eye. Each day he rides 7 miles to school along a narrow road on a rusty bike with bent wheels, no brakes and only 1 pedal. If you send us just $2, we will send you the video - it's fucking hilarious!

Imagine my shock when I got home to find my husband had replaced his feet with wheels and was wearing a funnel on his head.

I'd never even suspected he was a trainsvestite.

Recently, i’ve tried to make a car without wheels.

I’ve been working on it tirelessly.

What do they call shoes with wheels in Africa?

SwaHeeleys.

What's green and has wheels ?

Grass, I lied about the wheels

I'd like to propose my new business idea: The Brothel on Wheels

I'm calling it: The Suck-U-Bus.

I once bought a wooden car. Wooden engine, wooden doors, wooden wheels, wooden seats, put the wooden key in the wooden ignition.

Wooden start.

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Did you hear about the wooden car? It had a wooden engine, wooden wheels, a wooden chassis and a wooden gearbox...

And the fuckin' thing wooden even go.

My son tried riding his bike without training wheels today and the bike kept falling...

I guess you could say it was two tired!

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Why, what, who?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard when he lives in the jungle without a razor?
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?
Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Why does...

When Apple created the $700 wheels...

Did they expect profits to start rolling in?

As I write this I'm trying to assemble bicycle wheels using quite a complex process.

Damn, I spoke too soon.

On a cold, snowy day, a man's car has a flat tire in front of a mental hospital.

As he's trying to change the tire, several patients are watching him through holes in the fence. He puts the hubcap down on the snow, and starts putting the loose lug nuts in the hubcap. When he gets the wheel off, he accidentally steps on the edge of the hubcap, and the lug nuts go flying off in...

Why are so many Matchbox and Hot Wheels cars Fords?

So kids can get used to pushing them at an early age

I removed the wheels from my car, and surprisingly I'm still able to drive it

you could say it's working tirelessly.

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