Why did the snow man pull down his pants?

Because he heard the snow blower coming.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Early one morning, you pull down your favourite cup, only to find a small dragon, curled up and sleeping contentedly inside.

Confused and still half asleep you take the cup outside to empty the dragon carefully onto the grass, then return to rinse your cup and make coffee. The next morning he is back, curled snuggly inside the cup as before and you repeat the process.

After a week of repeating this process you make...

TIL: If you pull down on both your earlobes at the same time it makes it impossible to smile.

Made you smile! :)

A plane flies straight toward a mountain as pilot and co-pilot pull down on the control wheel with all their might

The pilot yells "We'll never make it over that mountain" the co-pilot looks at him and says "Not with that altitude."

Every time I pull down my pants women scream at the size of my massive...

Kneecap. It's starting to worry me now.

I saw 3 men standing at the urinals.

The first man, a Jewish guy, was peeing 4 streams.
"What happened to you?" I asked.

He explained "Accident at my circumcision. The rabbi had Parkinson's."

The next man, a big tough trucker, was peeing 6 streams.
"And what is your problem?" I asked.

He grunted "I had a fig...

Old woman on her deathbed

An old woman lays dying in the hospital after a long illness as her husband sits beside her. She says, "Darling, I want you to go home and look in my closet and pull down the box on the top shelf. I've been keeping a secret all these years."

The man goes home, pulls down the box and finds tha...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How can you tell the sex of a chromosome?

Pull down it's genes.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between the panties of today and the panties of the 1970s?

In the 70s, you had to pull down a girl's panties to see her ass. These days, you have to spread her ass to see her panties.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Doctor's office

A young guy goes to the doctor. He says “doctor, I have this terrible problem with flatulence. I fart uncontrollably and they always smell incredibly bad. You have got to help me”.

So the doctor says “pull down your trousers and underpants, hop on the bed and let me have a look”.

So...

There was this guy working at McDonald’s.

and it was his turn to cook the French fries. So he put the frozen fries in the metal basket and dipped it in the oil. You see this guy was a veteran chef and used to be able to sense when food was cooked by looking at it's color or by smelling it, he never needed a timer or a meat thermometer or an...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Singing Asshole

Guy walks into a bar and tells the bartender he has a hidden talent.

Guy- "I can sing out of my asshole"

Bartender- "that's impossible"

Guy- "How about a bet? If I can sing out of my asshole you give me free drinks all night".

The bartender agrees to the bet. The guy proc...

Manners

A man returns home from work late at night. Suddenly when he gets to a very dark street, a vampiress pops up.

"Mwaa ha ha! mere mortal... surrender your blood! and pull down your pants right now!"

The man, both terrified and confused, replies:

"Wha--I thought you guys a-aimed fo...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man was eating at a restaurant ...

When he noticed all the servers had spoons in their pocket.

Curious, he asked his server “why do all of you carry spoons?”

“Oh that’s interesting,” replied the server. “Our manager attended a seminar and found out the spoon is the most frequently dropped utensil. This way we are alway...

How do you get a squirrel down from a tree?

You pull down you pants and show him your nuts.

How do you mix boy and girl chromosomes?

Pull down their genes.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

(One of my dad's favourite jokes) - A mute man meets one of his mute friends

'Hello' his friend says.

The mute man is shocked, and points to indicate his friend's sudden use of speech.

'Oh yes,' the friend replies, 'I've found a fantastic doctor that helped me speak. Here, have his contact details and give him a visit'

The mute man excitedly goes to se...

An old lady in a nursing home approaches an old man in the rec room...

She says “Hey there stranger! I’ll bet ya 50 big ones I can tell ya how old you are to the month!

“You’re on!” he responds.

“Aright, I’m gonna need ya to pull down your trousers.” Confused, but not wanting to lose the bet, he does so. She then proceeds to poke & prod at his thighs...

Q: How do you tell the difference between male chromosomes and female chromosomes?

A: Pull down their genes!

Went to the gym today...had a bad experience...

I was just doing my usual routine ... which is just like 700 kilo pull downs and 780 Kilo squats and 1000 kilo shoulder presses...and then I got really annoyed because a chicken was running around the gym ....and then I went to the owner of the gym and I said “why is there a chicken in here?! I’m tr...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Bar Room Football

A man named Larry goes into a bar and orders a bottle of beer. Larry sits down and hears a bunch of noise in the background. Larry asks the bartender about the noise.. The bartender tells him that they're playing bar room football. So Larry decides to go and check it out.

He walks in and asks...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A young guy goes to a doctor, complaining that his penis has turned orange.

A young guy goes to a doctor, complaining that his penis has turned orange. The man looks healthy enough, dressed well, clean shaven, etc., but when the doctor asks him to pull down his pants, sure enough, his penis is bright orange! The doctor has never seen a case like this before, so he begins to...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A stutterer's wife was getting annoyed of his stutter...

So she asks him to go see a doctor. When the men got to the hospital and explained everything the doctor said:

"Pull down your pants."

"W-why?"

"Just do it."

"O-ok."

"There's the problem. You have a big penis that is pulling down your diaphragm. You will have to do...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A young man is buying condoms at a confidence store but doesn’t know how to put them in right.

He goes to the person behind the desk to ask for help when he notices that she is a beautiful blond young woman.
He asks her how to put them on so she takes them out of the box and puts one over her thumb.
“Do you get it?” she asks him, but he doesn’t understand.
So she takes him into a b...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man goes to a bank and asks to deposit $5,000 into his account.

The next day, he comes back and deposits $10,000.
The next day, he comes back and deposits $7,500. As he walks out, the banker asks him how he gets so much money in a day.
The man walks up to him and whispers, “I make bets with people.”
The banker tells him, “How do you make so much?”
...

A man is sitting inside his apartment, when a cop comes knocking at the door.

The man opens the door for the cop, only to find the cop staring disapprovingly at him.

"Sir" the cop starts " there have been reports about drug usage in this apartment complex. May I come in?"

"I rather you didn't" said the man.

"Listen" said the cop "I could go through the lo...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

John wanted to get married to the purest girl he could find. Taking his fathers advice

he proceeded to find a girl that wouldn't know what a penis was if it stood proudly before her. So he dated quite a few girls and when they got more acquainted he would pull down his pants and ask "Do you know what this is?", to which, of course, they would all reply "A penis". Until one day he met ...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.