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Proved Jokes

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Donald Trump is really a proved racist and sexist, because...

He beat a woman badly in his run for the presidency and threw a black family out of a white house...

I proved my wife wrong!

So, my wife said yesterday that I have started snoring, and its loud! I didn’t believe it. So, today, I am up all night to see if I actually snore. But nothing so far..
Proved her wrong!

My daughter informed me that the earth is tilted at a 23.5 degree angle

I responded, “That’s not right.”


With a scowl, she pulled up google and proved to me that the earth is, in fact, tilted at a 23.5 degree angle.


“Precisely,” I agreed. “If the angle were right it would be 90°.”

I told my chiropractor that my spine was already in alignment, but he proved me wrong.

Now I stand corrected.

Diarrhea has been proved to be hereditary.

It runs in your jeans.

All conspiracy theories were proved wrong. Trump will manage to stay in power by...

... dragging the vote count until 2024!

Fixing a door myself proved to be rather difficult.

I could never quite get the handle on it.

Someone told my that I break the Ten Commandments every single day. I proved them wrong!

You can only break the 4th Commandment once a week.

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Hitler eventually proved his art school Teachers wrong , and DID become one of the greatest painters of all time...

It's just the he painted an underground bunker with his brains.

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It was a long day at the gates of heaven, and St Peter was ready to go home

The final man in line walked up. He was a little man, wearing a tuxedo which looked like it had been scorched, and he was holding a golden baton. The man's appearance was otherwise unremarkable, but for the gigantic, shit eating smile on his face.

"What happened to you, sir?"

"I got ...

Historians have proved that people with every zodiac sign survived the sinking of the Titanic...

Except Leo

We Indians have proved that

We can't only overload taxi's, auto's, buses, trains, lorries but also Satellites.

So they finally proved the last part of Einstein theory of relativity.

It's about time.

My friend told me you can't interchangeably use the words high and tall, so I proved him wrong

"The taller you are, the easier it is to see things."

I can’t believe it is already more than a hundred years since Einstein proved that Time is relative.

Feels like it was just yesterday.

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Obama proved a black man can even be president..

And that no matter how high up a black man gets he can't get out of government housing!

It’s proved, that it is easy to please a woman with just 3.5 inches.

I am talking about credit card length.

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Growing up, people used to say I was autistic. I sure proved them wrong.

I can't draw worth a crap.

An insane Harvard research study just proved that when ants are tripping on LSD, they can't get heartburn.

Apparently it works as an antacid.

They told me I would never be good at poetry because I am dyslexic, but I proved them all wrong:

So far I have made three jugs and a vase.

Time traveler talks to a mathematician

The time traveler says, "Hello, in my grad school I have learned that it is impossible for any number which is a power greater than the second to be written as the sum of two like powers such as x^n + y^n = z^n for n > 2."

"Show me how you proved it," the mathematician says.

"Indeed...

Scientists have proved that there are two things in the air that cause women to get pregnant.

Their legs.

The doctor told my grandpa, he had one week to live, but my grandpa proved him wrong against all the odds.

He died the next morning.

My Uncle said he didn't need to breathe for the rest of his life. I said that it was impossible, he proved me wrong.

He stopped breathing for 10 minutes and died. I owe him 20$.

3 blondes are lost in the desert

They come across a river that they have to get over, but it's swarming with crocodiles.

Luckily, a genie just happened to pass by on his flying carpet. He said: "Ah, you are lucky! As I have found you here, I will grant each of you one wish."

The first blonde wished she was an excellen...

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