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Provider Jokes

In which profession the service providers never receive thanks from the people being served?

Executioners

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What’s the difference between an escort and a student loan provider?

An escort will stop fucking you when you run out of money

What is a pirate's LEAST favorite letter?

Dear Sir or Madam,

Your IP address has been flagged for illegally downloading movies. We will have to suspend your account, pending further investigation.



Sincerely,



The Internet Provider

Kim Jong-un walks into a school in North Korea.

He asks a student "Who is your father?

The student replies "The Supreme Leader, infinite in wisdom and kindness, provider and protector of the Koreans, he is our only father."

Kim Jong beams. "Excellent. Now tell me who is your mother?"

The student doesn't hesitate. "The Land of...

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What internet service provider do prostitutes prefer?

Cox, because they keep going in and out, sometimes they're fast, sometimes they're slow, and they bend you over when your bill arrives.

I'm a reproductive health provider. A female patient came in for a pelvic exam.

I told her "give me a few minutes, I'll be at your cervix"

What is the fastest cell phone service provider?

Sprint.

I'll see myself out.

My new internet provider is owned by a fisherman

Terrible service, takes all day to get a byte

Thanks to my internet service provider, I was finally able to read a book....

They had an outage

A soldier's wife has just returned from her insurance provider and is looking very, very unhappy

"What's the matter?" Her friend asked.

"I went to get my husband covered privately, but the fine print stated: no payouts when the holder dies as a result of an explosion and/or from injuries sustained in an explosion," she replied.

"Oh? So why would that make you unhappy?" Her friend ...

Why I Chose my Internet Provider

I chose Cox. At least they are honest about who they are.

I rang my telecom provider.

Before I got through , I had to say "Jump through the hoop! Do a flip!"

They said my call may be recorded for training porpoises.

A woman is calling her cell provider...

Woman: I don't get my text messages

Tech support: Have you tried reading them again?

What satellite TV provider does ISIS use?

Daesh Network

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'm beginning to think Pornhub should become a news provider.

At least they're honest when they plan on fucking you.

Since getting sober, I decided to go with the cheapest cell phone provider I can find!

Way fewer bars!!!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I eat p***y like I smoke cigarettes…

All the way to the butt.

My student loan providers said that they're going to "garnish" my wages?

I guess it's true that thyme is money

Why have U.S. healthcare providers embargoed the entire team behind the "The Land Before Time" movie series?

Because they don't cover pre-existing conditions.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If a sex worker does their work entirely online...

... Can they be called an "Internet Service Provider?"

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With Net Neutrality gone I’m finally ready to start my new business- Carrier Pigeons

You may laugh now, but you won’t be when my pigeons deliver nudes faster than your service provider

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