A soldier's wife has just returned from her insurance provider and is looking very, very unhappy

"What's the matter?" Her friend asked.

"I went to get my husband covered privately, but the fine print stated: no payouts when the holder dies as a result of an explosion and/or from injuries sustained in an explosion," she replied.

"Oh? So why would that make you unhappy?" Her friend ...

Thanks to my internet service provider, I was finally able to read a book....

They had an outage

Kim Jong-Un walks into a school in North Korea.

He asks a student "Who is your father?

The student replies "The Supreme Leader, infinite in wisdom and kindness, provider and protector of the Koreans, he is our only father."

Kim Jong beams. "Excellent. Now tell me who is your mother?"

The student doesn't hesitate. "The Land of...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Pissed off God by not seeing everyday miracles.

There's an old joke...

There's a flood. A man is standing in knee deep water in his house. Another man in a canoe paddles by and says "Get in I'll row you to safety!"

The man says,"No thanks. I've prayed and God will save me".

The water gets to his chest. Another man in a bass b...

What happens when you work as a firearms provider and you don't do your job so well at all?

You get fired

What is the fastest cell phone service provider?

Sprint.

I'll see myself out.

I'd much rather live in Norway than Denmark so I don't have to switch insurance providers.

Denmark doesn't have a Blue Cross as far as I know.

My student loan providers said that they're going to "garnish" my wages?

I guess it's true that thyme is money

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Big Game Hunter goes to Siberia to hunt Russian Bear

When he arrives on the train station (probably the only one in Siberia) he is greeted by the village hunter/gatherer/provider who has a very mangy, tiny, old dog leashed with a massive iron chain.
\-"Right, I'll help you." says the native "Here's what we're going to need: A great big blow horn,...

"Hello, you here to talk to me about Dinosaurs?"

Answer the door and see that its a sale man from an internet service provider. They have stopped at my house ten times in the last year to tell me about the digging in my area and I decided to have some fun with them today. Here is the conversation from today:

Me: Hello, you here to talk to m...

Since getting sober, I decided to go with the cheapest cell phone provider I can find!

Way fewer bars!!!

My phone service provider is always wrong about some basic reproductive facts.

They’re always telling me I’m out of dada, but I’m pretty sure I came out of my mama.

What is a pirate's LEAST favorite letter?

Dear Sir or Madam,

Your IP address has been flagged for illegally downloading movies. We will have to suspend your account, pending further investigation.



Sincerely,



The Internet Provider

My dog's house went through a hail storm recently

Most of the damage was dealt to his ROOF.
He was on the phone for hours howling at his insurance provider.

A man is having issues with his wifi

As any self-loathing individual would do he calls up his service provider who tell him that they’ll have someone look at the router at 10am the next day.

“Odd, this seems like good customer service” he thought to himself. The next morning he wakes up, grabs a cup of coffee and waits, 10am lea...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'm beginning to think Pornhub should become a news provider.

At least they're honest when they plan on fucking you.

A woman is calling her cell provider...

Woman: I don't get my text messages

Tech support: Have you tried reading them again?

Why have U.S. healthcare providers embargoed the entire team behind the "The Land Before Time" movie series?

Because they don't cover pre-existing conditions.

I rang my telecom provider.

Before I got through , I had to say "Jump through the hoop! Do a flip!"

They said my call may be recorded for training porpoises.

My Internet Service Provider is called Hathway....

Their customer service executive called, it was a woman. I asked if her first name is Anne, we laughed and now I have no internet.

What satellite TV provider does ISIS use?

Daesh Network

What’s a pirates least favourite letter?

Dear sir,

Your internet access has been terminated due to illegal usage.

Sincerely, your service provider.

The hospital taking too long to get a new cornea for my SO.

I need to find a faster wife-eye provider.

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