This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What’s the difference between an escort and a student loan provider?

An escort will stop fucking you when you run out of money

I'm a reproductive health provider. A female patient came in for a pelvic exam.

I told her "give me a few minutes, I'll be at your cervix"

Kim Jong-un walks into a school in North Korea.

He asks a student "Who is your father?

The student replies "The Supreme Leader, infinite in wisdom and kindness, provider and protector of the Koreans, he is our only father."

Kim Jong beams. "Excellent. Now tell me who is your mother?"

The student doesn't hesitate. "The Land of...

A soldier's wife has just returned from her insurance provider and is looking very, very unhappy

"What's the matter?" Her friend asked.

"I went to get my husband covered privately, but the fine print stated: no payouts when the holder dies as a result of an explosion and/or from injuries sustained in an explosion," she replied.

"Oh? So why would that make you unhappy?" Her friend ...

Thanks to my internet service provider, I was finally able to read a book....

They had an outage

What’s a pirate’s least favorite letter?

Dear Sir or Madam,

Your IP address has been flagged for illegally downloading movies. We will have to suspend your account, pending further investigation.

Sincerely,

Your Internet Provider

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If a sex worker does their work entirely online...

... Can they be called an "Internet Service Provider?"

What happens when you work as a firearms provider and you don't do your job so well at all?

You get fired

What is the fastest cell phone service provider?

Sprint.

I'll see myself out.

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Pissed off God by not seeing everyday miracles.

There's an old joke...

There's a flood. A man is standing in knee deep water in his house. Another man in a canoe paddles by and says "Get in I'll row you to safety!"

The man says,"No thanks. I've prayed and God will save me".

The water gets to his chest. Another man in a bass b...

I'd much rather live in Norway than Denmark so I don't have to switch insurance providers.

Denmark doesn't have a Blue Cross as far as I know.

My student loan providers said that they're going to "garnish" my wages?

I guess it's true that thyme is money

Since getting sober, I decided to go with the cheapest cell phone provider I can find!

Way fewer bars!!!

My phone service provider is always wrong about some basic reproductive facts.

They’re always telling me I’m out of dada, but I’m pretty sure I came out of my mama.

Why do internet service providers try to end Net Neutrality every few years?

The intent is to provide citizens with a sense of pride and accomplishment in fighting for their rights.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Big Game Hunter goes to Siberia to hunt Russian Bear

When he arrives on the train station (probably the only one in Siberia) he is greeted by the village hunter/gatherer/provider who has a very mangy, tiny, old dog leashed with a massive iron chain.
\-"Right, I'll help you." says the native "Here's what we're going to need: A great big blow horn,...

"Hello, you here to talk to me about Dinosaurs?"

Answer the door and see that its a sale man from an internet service provider. They have stopped at my house ten times in the last year to tell me about the digging in my area and I decided to have some fun with them today. Here is the conversation from today:

Me: Hello, you here to talk to m...

Why I Chose my Internet Provider

I chose Cox. At least they are honest about who they are.

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I'm beginning to think Pornhub should become a news provider.

At least they're honest when they plan on fucking you.

A woman is calling her cell provider...

Woman: I don't get my text messages

Tech support: Have you tried reading them again?

What’s the name of the cheapest vasectomy provider?

UnderCutters

Why have U.S. healthcare providers embargoed the entire team behind the "The Land Before Time" movie series?

Because they don't cover pre-existing conditions.

I rang my telecom provider.

Before I got through , I had to say "Jump through the hoop! Do a flip!"

They said my call may be recorded for training porpoises.

What satellite TV provider does ISIS use?

Daesh Network

My dog's house went through a hail storm recently

Most of the damage was dealt to his ROOF.
He was on the phone for hours howling at his insurance provider.

A man is having issues with his wifi

As any self-loathing individual would do he calls up his service provider who tell him that they’ll have someone look at the router at 10am the next day.

“Odd, this seems like good customer service” he thought to himself. The next morning he wakes up, grabs a cup of coffee and waits, 10am lea...

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