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Promoted Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A soldier who has recently been promoted to corporal is taken to a bar by his sergeant.

The sergeant orders ten shots of tequila. The corporal is about to order the same, when the sergeant says, "Are you sure about that?"

"Of course I'm sure!" replies the corporal. "I am no longer a private. I am a corporal now!" So the sergeant lets him order ten shots of tequila.

Afterw...

Three ghosts were talking about what was keeping them from being promoted from ghoul to specter.



The first confessed, "I have a weakness for boooooooooooooobs."

The second admitted, "I drink too much boooooooooooooze."

The third said, "I lack situational awareness."

Did you hear about the nuclear engineer who got promoted?

He was a real afissionado

Why couldn’t Anakin Skywalker be promoted to a high Jedi rank?

He would have been a Master Vader.

Did you read that news story about the farmer who was promoted to war general?

I thought it was really inspirational at first, but he was actually removed from service not long after.

It turns out he kept seeding ground.

I was promoted today at work.

Promoted to customer.

Why was the scarecrow promoted?

He was outstanding in his field.

Three men are talking in a Soviet gulag.

One of them asks the two others: "So what did you do?"

The first one answers: "Well, I arrived late at the factory, and so they accused me of slowing down the Revolution and the victory of the Proletariat."

The second one answers: "Well, I arrived early at the factory, and so they accu...

A Rabbi and his friend, a Catholic priest, were having a discussion

when the rabbi asked "Could you ever be promoted withing your church?"

The priest responded, "Well, one day, I hope to become a bishop."

The rabbi asked, "And then?"

The priest though for a second and responded, "Well, then I might become a cardinal."

The rabbi again aske...

Promotion

The boss called one of his employees into the office... : The boss called one of his employees into the office. "Rob," he said, "you've been with the company for a year. You started off in the post room, one week later you were promoted to a sales position, and one month after that you were promoted...

Got promoted at the bakery after my overweight boss died

I've got some big chouxs to fill

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My boss just promoted me to his sexual consultant.

He said, “When I want your fucking advice, I’ll ask for it.”

I finally got promoted at the crematorium

What can I say, I urned it.

Why did the cheese get promoted?

He was gouda his job

Why was Peter parker promoted in his IT job?

Because ever since the spider bit him he became the best at web designing

In the army all Colonels get promoted

That's a Generalization.

Why did the scarecrow get promoted?

He was outstanding in his field!

(got this joke from Tiny Tower if you guys know what that is)

The National Guillotine Convention promoted me

I'm now the head

After years of working his way up through the Dove Soap Company, Jedidiah Kermin was finally promoted to CEO.

Jeb was ecstatic and ready to lead the company into a new golden age of soap making. He was determined to shake up the industry and leave a true legacy for himself. So he went to product development and told them that what Dove needed was to make a soap that could clean people faster than any other ...

Skeeter and Bubba got promoted from Privates to Sergeants.

Shortly after, they were out walking when Bubba said "Hey Skeeter! There's the NCO Club! What say we go in there and have us a drink?"

"But we don't belong in the NCO Club!" Skeeter protested. "We's Privates!"

Bubba points to the new stripes sewn on their clothes and says, "No we a...

A pirate named Ronny gets promoted to First Mate.

Ronny is pondering life one day as hes giving the captain a shave.

"I'm not a very good pirate," he says to the captain. "I can't navigate and I don't know how to fight. I don't even sound like a pirate. Is there a reason you chose me as first mate?"

"Aye Ronny," says the captain.

Why was the boxcar so proud of being promoted to engine?

He trained his entire life for it.

I'm starting a protest against the evil capitalist structure promoted by Vietnamese soup salesmen.

We are Anti-Pho

I ended up quitting my job cause they promoted a little person to supervisor.

I just got sick of the micro managing.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why was the hot teacher promoted to principal?

Because she was the Headmaster!




My first submitted joke :)

What do you call a hood guy that just got promoted?

Maneger

I got promoted to the senior supervisor at the cheese factory.

I am now the greater grater grader.

On the upside, Oscar Pistorus has had his paralympic classification promoted...

...he's gone from T43 (double below knee amputee) all the way up to T800 (The Terminator).

My boss promoted me to the role of pilot in command...

He said I was going places.

Two good ol’ boys, Bubba and Junior get promoted

from Privates to Sergeants.

Not long after, they’re out for a walk and Bubba says, “Hey, Junior - there’s the NCO Club. Let’s you and me stop in and have us a drank.”

“But we’s privates,” protests Junior.

“NO, we’s sergeants now,” says Bubba, pulling him inside “Now, Junior...

'C' has just been promoted to the second letter of the alphabet!

However R & D believe the rise in C levels will result in a loss of B's.

That kid didn't really find a lost Mayan city. The sites that promoted the story?

I guess they'll issue a...

Maya culpa.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

After 10 years of impeccable policing, Roderick was still only a captain.

So Rod went to the prefect and asked for a promotion. Only the prefect couldn’t stand Rod, so he told him:

“You will be promoted when you complete an assignment of the highest importance. You must travel to India and bring back .... erm ... a pair of crocodile shoes!"

Roderick salutes ...

A penguin and a giraffe were fighting for a promotion

Giraffe got promoted because people looked up to him!

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