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Enhancing Jokes

What do you call a body-enhancing drug from space?

A steroid.

What performance enhancing drugs do penguins use?

Polaroids

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between the Canadian-American border and a performance enhancing drug?

Niagara Falls, Viagra rises.

What do you call a physically enhancing drug that comes from space?

Asteroid.

Aladdin has been banned from the magic carpet race.

Apparently he's been using performance enhancing rugs.

I can't blame them for disqualifying Sha’Carri Richardson after she tested positive for marijuana.

It's definitely a performance enhancing drug. I smoke weed and can run a 3-day mile.

If you smoke weed before an eating contest

You're technically on performance enhancing drugs

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

To Whom It May Concern

Mr. Jones, a 60-year old man has a heart attack while making love to his wife. Panicked, she calls 911. Paramedics arrive and take Mr. Jones to a hospital, where Dr. Goldman performs an emergency procedure to unblock Mr. Jones’ arteries.

Mr. Jones returns home from the hospital and, after a f...

Phineas and Ferb just finished another machine.

The machine could enhance someone's ability to swordfight with just a single dose. After enhancing himself, Phineas first faced a regular man, who he defeated with ease. Then he brought in an Olympic gold-medalist fencer. Phineas easily deflected all of the attacks and struck with unmatchable speed....

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Mysterious Bottle of Ketchup

A man wants to throw a party, so he heads into a grocery store looking for supplies. He grabs a shopping cart and combs through the aisles, grabbing everything he could possibly need for the party.

He's about to head out and he does a final mental check of the things he needs. He realises he...

Mary Poppins Decided To Grow Some Vegetables

Mary Poppins decides to grow some vegetables. When she picks her crop in the autumn, her carrots, potatoes, onions, and spring beans have all failed, but her cauliflowers have grown a treat.

She picks them, cooks some for Sunday lunch in a cheese sauce, and they taste wonderful.

After ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Funny Lance Armstrong Joke (#2)

(#1)I just heard that Lance Armstrong got his medals taken away from him for using drugs.. This is crazy because, when I do drugs.. I can't even find my bike.

(#2) I just heard that the Tour De France is trying to eliminate Performance Enhancing Drugs.. Yet, they're sponsored by... Viagra

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