Foster Jokes

Daft Punk ordering a round at the bar

"No, just give me something hoppy."

I'm a foster boyfriend. The girl stays with me until she finds a permanent home.

To get to the oven slide.

He’s still looking for his biological fava.

They're staring at another man sitting on his own at a table in the corner.
He's so familiar, and not recognizing him is driving them mad.
They stare and stare, until suddenly the Irishman twigs: 'My God, it's Jesus!'
Sure enough, it is Jesus, nursing a pint.
Thrilled, they send him over... read more

Bananas foster

Not bad a can right in the back of the head form 20 yards

No one through YEARS of guessing and thinking could figure out why on earth his birth parents would give him such a dumb name. They finally figured out why when he took a DNA test to figure out his ancestry, both of his parents were from the Netherlands. He was double dutch.

My God! I know who that man is - it's Jesus!" The others looked again, and sure enough, it was Jesus himself, sitting alone at a table.


The Irishman calls out across the lounge: "Hey! Hey you! Are you Jesus"? Jesus looks over at him, smiles a small smile and nods his head. "Yes, I am J... read more

...Got him in the back of the head with all four cans!

Their my foster parents.

They sure are a handful to raise.

It wasn't until many years later that I realized I had been fostered......

He had been adopted three times. The first family had a dog that the boy loved, but the father beat the dog daily. The boy reported the family, and he returned to the foster home. The second family had a loving mother that took care of the boy, but the father beat his wife daily. The boy reported th... read more

I was reading an article last night about fathers and sons, and memories came flooding back of the time I took my son out for his first drink.
Off we went to our local bar, which is only two blocks from the house.
I got him a Miller Genuine. He didn't like it – so I drank it.
Then I got ... read more

"A 40 kg child that 100 cm tall is holding a parent's arms swinging them 0.5 revolutions a second. If the parent let go of the child after 2 seconds, where will the child end up?"



A few moments later, the teacher then comes over and reads a student's answer:



"In a foste... read more

An Australian guy is traveling around the Greek Islands. He walks into a bar and, by chance, is served by an Australian barmaid. As she takes his order, a Fosters, she notices his accent. Over the course of the evening they get chatting. At the end of her shift he asks if she wants to come b... read more

It wasn't till I was 18 that I realized I'd been Fostered....

Can I have a Foster?

It wasn't until I was 18 I realised I had been Fostered

It will be called the Broken Home Depot.

It was only when I reached 28 that my parents admitted that I had been Fostered.

Foster Farms

Fosters

So they have a good supply of young children in their foster homes for the priests.

A Youngster's Roster of Fostered Imposters

She sees them getting ready for dinner. It's a feast, beef Wellington, shrimp, twice baked potatoes, wine, champagne, and a million different desserts.

Just then God came by and asked, "Are you hungry? I'm making tuna fish sandwiches if you'd like one."

MT: "Um, ok, sure."

The ... read more

Afterward Vince Foster didn't walk much either.

They had just had twin sons that they knew weren’t safe in Europe with the bombing and havoc around their country. They separated them by sending one of them to Mexico and one to Arabia. The Mexican brother was named Juan by his foster parents, and the Arabian family named the other brother Ahmal. T... read more

Fosters.

A snail crawls into a bar. The bartender says we don't serve your kind and tosses the snail out on the curb. 3 years later same snail crawls in and says "What the hell dude"

A Welsh, Englishman and Scot go into a bar and order 3 beers. Each of their glasses has a fly in it. The Englishman to... read more

but my parents couldn't afford one; so one morning, I woke up early and went to the garage, I got some wood and some nails… and beat my parents to death.

My foster parents bought me 5 skateboards.

A man had an uncle who happened to own a zoo. One day, the uncle unfortunately passes away. When the man speaks to his uncle's lawyer, the lawyer offers to give him the zoo. The man willingly agrees. The zoo has an aquarium, a lion cage and a bird cage but it is in horrible condition. The man pays t... read more

After decades of conflict and war, the people of Watermelon Kingdom and Cataloupe Country are trying to ease diplomatic tensions between their peoples. A student exchange program is started to foster cross-cultural understanding.

Through the exchange program, Wally Watermelon meets Cassandra... read more