Curtis Jackson, aka 50 cent, considering to run for office. His first campaign slogans released.

Change we can believe in! The change we need!

It's difficult, but Trump is still focused on keeping campaign promises during this pandemic.

Just a few more cases and Mexico will pay for that wall

Mikhail Gorbachev started an anti-alcohol campaign in USSR in 1980s. People went crazy because of the restrictions on selling of alcohol. An old Soviet joke went like this:

“A disaffected and angry citizen, fed up of standing in lines for vodka, decided to go assassinate Gorbachev. He soon came back and ruefully reported that the lines to assassinate Gorbachev were even longer than the lines for vodka.”

So, a young man was in demolitions training from a multi-campaign veteran. During drills he responded:

Okay, Boomer

Did you hear Elizabeth Warren cancelled her campaign?

It wasn't the first race she has had to leave.

A politician spends 500 million dollars on his own campaign...

And all he gets is American Samoa

China has begun a propaganda campaign to deflect blame for starting the COVID-19 outbreak. . .

and I'm starting to believe that they were not responsible. If it had really been "Made in China", it never would have lasted this long.

What happened to Kamala Harris' campaign?

She had the black vote all locked up.

Did you hear about Coronas new marketing campaign?

Apparently it's gone viral in China.

I feel sorry for Corona beer's marketing campaign

Nothing can go viral.

Why did the dyslexic republican politician have to suspend his campaign?

Because he vowed to put an end to texas.

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Will Mayor Pete’s campaign office be phoning voters

By making Butti calls?

Trump said in his campaign that if I voted for Clinton...

Trump said in his campaign that if I voted for Clinton, I would be stuck with a president under constant federal investigation from day one.

Turned out, he was right. I voted for Clinton and I have been stuck for years with a president under federal investigation from day one.

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There's a little-known legend about Attila the Hun...

The story goes that Attila used to collect exotic animals that he found during his conquests. He particularly liked dangerous or fearsome animals, and his favourite was a giant snake. He was so fond of it, it was said that he brought it with him on every campaign.

But his snake lost its appet...

It’s important to look closely at lawn signs during election campaigns

Last time I voted for a real estate agent

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PETA recently started an AD campaign against masturbation

I guess they have a problem with people beating their meat.

A politician visits a village on the campaign trail and asks the villagers what their needs are

“We have two basic needs, Sir” replies the village leader. “Firstly, we have a hospital but no doctor”

On hearing this the politician brings out his phone, and after speaking for a while he tells them not to worry, a doctor will be present tomorrow and asks what the second problem is.
...

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Poor old Jim finds out his wife is cheating with his best friend.

He wants to hire a hitman to put an end to their affair. The private investigator Jim hired recommends a guy who's supposedly the top in the field. Jim only has a few thousand dollars in savings, though, after the lengthy surveillance campaign, and he worries it won't be enough.

"That's okay,...

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Mr. President and Jared Kushner visit Putin

Mr. President and Jared are visiting Putin for some campaign strategy. They have a nice chat over coffee, but both Trump and Jared have hard time concentrating as they are mesmerized by their host's beautiful sterling spoons. Jared manages to slip one of the spoons into his pocket, which makes Trump...

A politician dies...

And ends up standing in front of the pearly gates. Saint Peter looks at him for a second, flicks through his book, and finds his name.

"So, you're a politician..." "Well, yes, is that a problem?" "Oh no, no problem. But we've recently adopted a new system for people in your line of work, and ...

A non-partisan election joke! Not Republican or Democrat

Since we're at the end of the presidential campaign, I figured some political humor might be in store. The following is a funny and true story shared with me by KC Williams who teaches AP Government at Santa Fe High School. In one of KC's classes, they were discussing the qualifications to be presid...

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Donald Trump holds a fund raising campaign rally.

During the rally, he steps down from the stage and slaps one of his cheering supporters. Now the shit has really hit the fan.

It is 30 years today since the unlawful imprisonment of John Hugs!

Unfortunately my 'free hugs' campaign isn't going well right now.

You know Corona Beer is having really good sales these days.

They've been doing amazing ever since their ad campaign went viral.

I donated $10 to Bernie's campaign

Don't worry ladies, I also donated $7.80 to Hilary.

It’s refreshing to see a President keeping his campaign promises.

Although I’m not entirely sure rotating people through the cabinet counts as creating jobs but the effort is certainly present.

Heaven or Hell

While walking down the street one day a corrupt Senator (that may be redundant) was tragically hit by a car and died.

His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.

"Welcome to heaven," says St.. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom ...

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What would Obama's campaign slogan be if he confidently ran for office in Japan?

Shuriken

When McDonald’s reopens

They can run an advertising campaign based on the return of the mac

Donald Trump had a close adviser named Hope Hicks. Which makes sense -- her name suggests his campaign strategy:

Say racist things and hope hicks will vote for you.

Why did it take Joe so long to officially announce his 2020 campaign?

He was Biden his time.

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Life Alert and Viagra launch a joint marketing campaign

"Help! I've fallen and I can't get it up!"

Our president promised to eradicate crime in, what i heard, was 3 to 6 months, during his campaign period. So it will be resolved in 27 years & 2 months?

326 months, he said.

So Gillette just came out with a new Ad campaign calling out men for toxic masculinity.

I can honestly say this is the first time Ive ever seen a razor blade company cut their own wrists.

What’s the most offensive marketing campaign post-Thanos Snap?

50% off.

A politician dies. Instead of going straight to heaven or hell, a spirit appears to him.

The spirit tells him that, rather than being judged for his sins, he gets to choose whether he goes to heaven or hell.

The politician replies that of course he wants to go to heaven. The spirit tells him that before he chooses, he has to visit both places so each one will get a fair chance.<...

One day, Julius Caesar was in the marketplace with a friend, looking for a celebratory item after coming back from a successful campaign. He was looking towards a bust of his face, carved in marble.

But that was when his friend said: "Hey! Don't get a head of yourself!"

Did you hear that Jennifer Lopez started a campaign against dispenser candy?

It's called J Lo for No Pez.

One day, a couple of politicians were on a campaign trail.

They would drive from city to city in a bus to deliver speeches, have debates and answer questions. Then, one day, the bus didn't reach its intended destination at all. A couple of concerned voters decided to inquire as to where they disappeared to. After following the bus's intended path for a whil...

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I've started using gametes in my advertising campaign.

You know, sex cells.

A marketing team had to make a Coca-Cola ad for Arabia

So they sent their best man on the job. When he came back, they saw that the campaign failed miserably and nobody was buying the product. So the team asked him what happened. He explained:

We made a billboard with three images. On the first one, there is a person that is very unhealthy and a...

Ted Cruz releases three new campaign promises:

Ted Cruz may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.

Ted Cruz must obey orders given him by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the First Promise.

Ted Cruz must protect his own existence as long as such protection d...

50Cent says Trump offered him $500,000 to join presidential campaign

Only Trump would pay $500k for $0.50

Such a deal maker.

Ted Cruz has aborted his campaign

..but I say he should be forced to carry it to full term

A politician walks into a small town...

An election campaign politician visits a small town and asks the mayor what problems do they have. He replies that they have two problems. The first one is that they have a hospital but they don't have a doctor.

The politician takes out his mobile phone, makes a call and discusses for a while...

An ad campaign for pitted peaches (long)

So there’s a farmer and he wants to market his peaches. They are canned peaches and part of the appeal is you don’t have to pit them. They are pitted by other people before they get out in the cans! Easy! So he has this idea to hire a model to photograph in the process of pitting to communicate this...

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There was once a really smart bee.

Ever since he was little, he had always wanted more than the simple, boring lives led by his fellow bees. After a few years, he left his job, his hive, and his family behind, in search of a better life.
He flew for hours until he came to a small Virginia town, on the edge of a forest. He landed, ...

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What was Adolf Hitler's campaign slogan?

*"Auschwitz the old, in with the Jews!"*

The campaign to re-irritate our international allies is called:

Make America Grate Again

Have you heard about Missouri's new tourist campaign?

"Missouri loves company."

After seeing the Anti-Smoking campaign, I don't smoke anymore.

But I don't smoke any less, either.

Bill is out campaigning with Hillary...

they stop for lunch in a small diner and when Bill orders, he says, "I'll have a quickie."

The waitress giggles and Hillary glares, but says nothing.

The next day, at lunch in a diner, Bill orders: "I'll have a quickie."
Same response.

The third day, Bill ordering lunch say...

Trump's campaign slogan for 2020

You get out what you Putin

Trump launch a military campaign against Syria

Operation Desert Stormy

Breaking news: Philadelphia Cream Cheese's New Ad Slams Competitor Brand's product!

It's just a regular smear campaign.

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Teresa May dies...

Her soul arrives in heaven and she is met by St.Peter at the Pearly Gates. Welcome to Heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there's a problem: We seldom see a Conservative here and we're not sure what to do with you."
"No problem, just let me in; I'm a believer." says May. ...

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Trump may not fulfill all of his campaign promises...

...but he sure is making Saturday Night Live great again.

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What was Hitlers campaign slogan?

Gotta catch them all...

What should Bernie Sanders' next presidential campaign be called?

Hindsight is 2020

The President's son, son-in-law, campaign manager, and a Russian lawyer walk into a bar…

finish that one for me, will ya

If Trump continues his anti climate change campaign and the provocation towards North Korea the only wall we will be building will be...

Wall-E

Third party US presidential candidate Gary Johnson just delivered a crushing blow to the Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton campaigns

By keeping his mouth shut.

Did you hear about the Rabbi that ran for political office?

He ran a schmear campaign.

What will be the campaign motto of Trump's opponent in 2020?

Make America Great Again

My local police department is running a dual campaign against dangerous driving and taking drugs. The signs read:

SPEED KILLS

The NHL's Florida Panthers have apologized to their fans for using Kevin Spacey in a marketing campaign

it's probably for the best. He's a better fit with the Nashville Predators

My dad has a great idea for Donald Trump's campaign slogan.

"Vote for me in 2016 or there'll be hell toupée."

After an investigation into Donald Trumps presidential campaign, the FBI found

[removed]

CNN has just reported that Monika Lewinski will be helping with the Donald Trump for president campaign.

Apparently, the last time she endorsed a Clinton, it left a bad taste in her mouth.

Why did Hillary Clinton had her campaign chairman John Podesta send the crowd home from the Clinton HQ?

She 'accidently' deleted the email with her consession speech.

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A man born and raised in the province decided to move to the city to find a decent job.

He woke up early that morning to catch the bus to the city and peacefully slept through the five-hour ride.

By the time he woke up the bus was already approaching his stop so he gathered his things and prepared to leave. He had only taken a few steps away from the bus however when he felt a s...

From the Gallipoli campaign in World War I...

The Australians are interrogating a captured Turkish soldier, when finally poor Mehmet has a question for them.

"Why do you call God such awful names? Why do you curse Him when your soldiers go into battle?"

The Aussies were surprised. "What do you mean?"

"Well, when we Turks l...

If Donald Trump had really wanted Hillary Clinton locked up, he should have just…

…given her a job on his campaign team…

Trump's last two chances to save his election campaign at the second debate:

1. Be endorsed by Dave.

2. Bring out a resurrected Harambe on stage.

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I don’t understand this whole sex thing

Everyone else is playing Multiplayer but I’m still stuck on the Campaign

Jewish ad campaign

Old man Moskowitz was getting along in years. He decided to retire and let his 3 sons run the company (which manufactured a wide variety of nails). The sons thought they could increase market-share with some judicious billboard advertising.
Only a week later the old man was taking his usual Sund...

The FBI raided Hillary Clinton's campaign headquarters

She needed them to get in quick and destroy all the evidence.

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Why are gametes used in big marketing campaigns?

Because sex cells

Why does the Trump campaign hire people in groups of three?

One who can read, one who can write, and one to keep an eye on the other two "elitist intellectuals."

Wario has just revealed his campaign slogan

'We need to build a wah'

People seem to have a kind of anti-water campaign that only comes around at Christmas

All I hear for two weeks is "No well, no well, no well"

Why couldn't Hillary Clinton keep up her US presidential campaign?

She was let down by a weak Constitution.

I was going to tell a joke about Donald Trump's presidential campaign..

but then I realized it was racist, too long, and didn't make any sense.

Donald and Hillary Go Into A Bakery on the Campaign Trail

As soon as they enter the bakery, Hillary steals three pastries and puts them in her pocket.
She says to Donald, "See how clever I am?
The owner didn't see anything and I don't even need to lie.”
I will definitely win the election.

The Donald says to Hillary, "That's the typical dish...

The anti-drug campaign

Two men join a local anti-drug campaign. They walk up to the person running the campaign.

The man looks towards them and says,
"Ah, I'm guessing you two are here for the campaign."

The two men agree and the manager of the campaign said,

"Alright guys, we were just running a...

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Let me tell you a story of a guy named Juan.

Juan was the custodian at a local grade school. Everyone loved Juan. He was so sweet and compassionate with the kids and did a wonderful job. One day the principal came up to Juan and said:

"You know Juan, you care about this school so much, maybe you should run for the board of education"...

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A US senator died and went to heaven.

When he gets to heaven Saint Peter is waiting for him at the pearly gates.
Peter says: "Oh a Senator huh? Well we have a special deal for you! Since you spent your life trying to reach across the aisle to both parties we give you 24 hours in both heaven and hell and at the end of 48 hours you g...

The Bee Joke

Once, there was a bee who lived in a very complex bee hive. All the bees residing in this hive lived very happily with their own tasks and aspirations. However, this particular bee, named Bart, was quite special. He was an incredibly intelligent bee who matured and learned far faster than his bee pe...

What is the main position candidate Jim Webb is campaigning on?

Debate time reform.

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