A dog wearing spurs, two six shooters and a vest hobbles in through a saloons double swinging doors

He hops on a bar stool and says I’m looking for the man who shot my paw.

Something I said on the spur of a moment to my ex wife.

Ex: I don’t know why you are complaining I’m an angel.

Me: So was satan

What is the difference between this post and Spurs?

This post has a title. . .

I just walked past White Hart Lane and found 3 Spurs season tickets nailed to a wall.

I thought of having them.

Nails always come in handy.

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Thor hasn't had sex in a while...

It's been a long time. Thor decides he needs to get off.

And human chicks are hot.

So he visits Earth. Goes to a bar, meets a girl. With his God of Thunder good looks, his adventurous and supernatural stories, and the confidence of, well, an actual deity, she falls for him instantly....

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There was a farmer who had two sons

tldr :

His wife died as soon as she gave birth to the second son. Because of this, the farmer always blamed his second son for his mother's death. But he did not fail in his responsibilities as a father. The farmer was poor but he worked really hard to get his two sons in grad school. They ...

A dog walks into a saloon

All the patrons go quiet as they look at the dog who’s wearing spurs and a cowboy hat, with a gun on his hip.

The bartender says, “now listen here partner, we don’t want any trouble. What’s your business?”

The dog lets out a faint growl, lifts up his front right leg and replies, “I’m l...

Always avoid alliteration

You're a Savage Warrior. You're a barbarian.

You come from a city in Iran. You're a Barbar Barbarian.

You're known for hanging around your favorite drinking establishment. You're a Barbar bar barbarian.

You get exiled. You're a barred Barbar bar barbarian.

You get a j...

A cowboy walks into a livery stable and asks for a horse...

"I need a horse, but I'm short on cash. What can I get for $25?" the cowboy asks the owner.

"Well, for fifteen I can give you 'ol Bill. He's seen a few years but he's still a fast horse" replies the owner.

"Why so cheap then?"

"Well, he ain't so good at listening. You see, he ge...

[Long] A man walked into a barn.

The farmer asked,"Why are you here?"

The man said, "To get water."

The farmer opened the door and gave the man a cup of water.

"Why don't you have water?" he asked.

"My water was on my horse when it ran away," replied the man. "By the way, do you happen to have a horse I ...

Three doctors are sitting on a park bench when a man limps past...

The first doctor sees him and says, “I’ve been a podiatrist for 10 years, and I bet $1000 that man has bone spurs.”

“No way!” says the chiropractor, “I’ve had my practice for 20 years and that is a clear-cut spinal issue. Can’t you see how crooked his back is?”

“Nope,” says the ortho...

The tale of Drango Dune

A proddy young gunfighter swings off his horse and barges through the batwing doors into a saloon, where everyone falls silent, except for the piano player, who carries on playing with never a pause. "I'm looking for Drango Dune!" yells the young man, and everyone turns away except for one old-timer...

A dog walks into a saloon...

...and says "gimme a whiskey!" The bartender says "we don't serve dogs here." The dog looks him in the eye, says "I SAID, gimme a whiskey!!" and the bartender responds "AND I SAID, WE DON'T SERVE DOGS!", and he shoots the dog in the foot. The dog runs out yapping.

A little while later they he...

Ed's father taught him how to ride a goat at a young age.

He showed him where the little saddle goes, and how to position the bridle.

Ed mastered the art of goat riding. The slightest pull from the reigns and the goat would stop. The lightest touch of the spurs on it's haunches and the goat would gallop full speed.

Ed named the goat Geronimo...

Peter is staring up at Jesus on the cross.

Suddenly their eyes meet and Jesus calls out, "Peter! Peter!"

Peter runs to the foot of the cross but he is beaten and forced back by the Roman guards. Once again he looks up when he hears his savior cry, "Peter. Peter."

Jesus's voice is much weaker now and that spurs Peter up the hill...

A blond, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police

A blond, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police one day. When suddenly, they happened upon a barn. They ran inside to escape the boys in blue and barred the door on their way in. All that was in the barn was a few cows, a couple of pigs, and a pile of potatoes. They could hear the sir...

A butcher in London...

So there's a butcher who lives in one of the more run down neighbourhoods of London. As such, he constantly has to deal with petty thieves trying to steal meat out of his shop. He's not an educated man, but he becomes quite crafty in protecting his livelihood. One day, the Duke of Wellington passes ...

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A rough and tough cowboy hitches his horse outside a saloon.

Spurs ringing up the stairs, the door swings open and he sits down on a stool. "gimme a beer, bottle of whisky". After he drinks his fair share we walks back out to unhitch his horse. A second later, the swinging doors bust open and a bullet tears through the roof. "All right you sons of bitches! W...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The teacher asks little Johnny to tell the class what he thinks sex is

Little Johnny was getting to that age, so in class the teacher wanted to know how much each student knew about sex. For that, she asked everyone to explain sex as they understood it.

First, little Mary explained it with the classic Birds and the Bees speech. "Good job, Mary", said the teache...

Wrapping Paper Cowboy

A tall weather-worn cowboy walked into the saloon and ordered a beer. The regulars quietly observed the drifter through half-closed eyelids. No one spoke, but they all noticed that the stranger's hat was made of brown wrapping paper.

Less obvious was the fact that his shirt and vest were als...

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