Soviet financial inspector visits a synagogue

Soviet financial inspector visits synagogue with a mission to prove that local Jewish community hides some profits from tax authorities.

As he looks through the books and find nothing suspicious - an idea comes to his mind.

He asks rabbi:

\- Rabbi, soviet authorities sent you 10...

A guy goes to work and before he even gets a chance to sit his personal assistant starts reporting

\-"our profits have diminished by 5%, we lost the job in China meaning we look at another 10% losses by the end of the semester, Mr. Jones has given us his resignation, your wife called and said that she is leaving you and she is taking the children with her and the big boss wanted to see you asap a...

My uncle is such a great businessman that he made $6 million in profits this year

He works in a non-profit organization

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Do you have an email address?

An unemployed man is desperate to support his family of a wife and three kids. He applies for a janitor's job at a large firm and easily passes an aptitude test.

The human resources manager tells him, "You will be hired at minimum wage of $5.35 an hour. Let me have your e-mail address so that...

Just started a business selling birds. The profits are brilliant.

So far I have sold some homing pigeons 25 times this week already.

What's the difference between A prophet and Profits?

One works for the Church, and one is why the Church works.

Following a particularly good year, the circus decided to spend their profits on a human cannonball exhibit

After the cannon was delivered, they realized that the manufacturer got the dimensions all wrong. The barrel was so narrow that only a child could fit inside, and a child would never be allowed to perform such a dangerous act.


Months went by and the cannon remained unused, until one day...

Drug cartels have been turning to toilet paper instead of narcotics for profits

I guess you can say the crack has been wiped out clean.

Where does a Marijuana Seller put his profits?

In a Joint account

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Sorting out my shit for me! [Long]

Moe owns a bar, and he has been finding it really hard to manage the bar and take care of his personal life. Things are just piling up and getting on top of him. Recently his Aunt got divorced and so she has been sitting at the end of the bar drinking away his profits, his Rottweiler Chomper has jus...

Step 2. Profit

Step 1. Time machine

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EA to donate 50% of profits from future titles to starving children around the world.

After they make them purchase the postage, packing materials, fuel for the planes, silverware, plates, drinking cups, seasonings, construct hand out facilities, eating establishments, refuse disposal, environmental studies on said refuse disposal, labor costs and finally any and all expenses from F...

The CEO and the Envelopes

A new CEO was hired to take over a struggling company. The CEO who was stepping down met with him privately and presented him with three numbered envelopes. “Open these if you run into serious trouble,” he said.

Well, three months later sales and profits were still way down and the new CEO wa...

A vet, a banker and a barber walk into a bar.

After a few drinks the banker gloomily says:

“although business has been booming most of the funds have beent going to my cats medication, sadly Bartholomew got run over by a blue honda; i wish i could of seen the driver and give him what he desreves”

With the drinks opening them up t...

Did you hear about the elevator company?

Profits are always up and down

When Apple created the $700 wheels...

Did they expect profits to start rolling in?

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A Jewish man owns a craft shop

The local tailor, a known racist and anti-Semite, goes into his shop and says "Oi, I want some yellow yarn, deliver it to my shop tomorrow at nine exactly."

The Jewish shop owner is loathe to serve this man, but knowing it's where almost a quarter of his profits come from, he has little choic...

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