This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How Amazon's acquisition of Whole Foods really went down:

Bezos: Alexa, buy me olives from Whole Foods.

Alexa: Sure, buying all of Whole Foods.

Bezos: Crap.

The Furniture Dealer

Murphy, a furniture dealer from Dublin, decided to expand the line of furniture in his store, so he decided to go to Paris to see what he could find.

After arriving in Paris, he visited some manufacturers and selected a line that he thought would sell well back home.

To celebrate the ...

What did the arts museum acquisitions director say to the cultural benefactor and collector of early Renaissance paintings?

S3ND NUD3S

A couple of years ago Barry went hiking across Europe

But as time passed by he never returned home. His many friends tried contacting him in any way they could imagine, but his phone was disconnected, he wasn't active on his social media accounts anymore - it was like he disappeared off the face of the Earth.

Ultimately, everyone had forgotten a...

You heard about the latest Coca-Cola acquisition?

That’s going to Costa lot.

The Native Americans were surprised to be colonised by Europeans

No one expects the Spanish Acquisition

Two native Cubans are going for a stroll through the forest.

The first guy mentions that he didn’t finish his hunting quota in time for supper, and explains that if he doesn’t find something suitable soon, his wife is going to be very cross with him.

The second guy, recognizing his friend’s plight, offers to assist the first in his hunt but asks a favo...

Why can't Popeye the Sailor's enemies ever predict whether or not he's purchased spinach that day?

Because no one expects the spinach acquisition!!!

Bored at work so I wrote my first joke. It’s extremely dumb but maybe it’ll make someone laugh.

An extremely wealthy family owned countless successful companies, bought out competitors and even purchased new ventures if they looked promising enough. Nothing was too big or small, and nothing was off limits.

The family consisted of a mother (Linda), father (Robert) and 3 sons (Robert Jr.,...

My company got bought out by a Madrid based firm today. Everyone seemed surprised.

Nobody expects the Spanish Acquisition

I went to work today, and was shocked to learn that my company was taken over by a firm in Barcelona.

No one expects the Spanish acquisition.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Kid asks his Grandpa about Slavery

A kid goes to his grandpa and asks him about slavery

Kid: Grandpa does slavery still exist today?

Grandpa: Slavery exists all over the world on almost every continent in the world.

Kid: I know in North America that black people used to be enslaved but theres no way that the acqu...

It just all depends on how you look at some things...

Judy Wallman, a professional genealogy researcher in southern California , was doing some personal work on her own family tree. She discovered that Congressman Harry Reid's great-great uncle, Remus Reid, was hanged for horse stealing and train robbery in Montana in 1889. Both Judy and Harry Reid ...

Vacancy announcements these days

Required qualifications:

- Work experience of 50 years or more;
- Incumbent must defeat a dragon;
- Willingness to work on weekends and holidays;
- Helicopter piloting licence;
- Ability to programme in any language imaginable;
- Knowledge of Swahili at least at uppеr intеrmеdi...

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