Me: Damnit! The forecast shows up to 5 inches of snow!!

Wife: If I don’t complain about a few inches, neither should you.

Russian man is watching weather forecast on TV and they say that it's -50°C in Siberia today...

In disbelief he calls his Siberian friend:

\- Hey, I've heard is super cold in Siberia these days?

\- Nah, it's nothing special, about -25°.

\- Yeah? On TV they've said it's -50° C!

\- Ah, this must be outside.

What's the hippy forecast?

Slight chance of a shower on sunday...

Tomorrow's weather forecast for Canada is in, just in time for cannabis legalization

It's going to be cloudy with a chance of Doritos.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Indian weather forecast.

It was autumn, and the Indians on the remote reservation
asked their new Chief if the winter was going to be cold
or mild. Since he was an Indian Chief in a modern
society, he had never been taught the old secrets.

When he looked at the sky, he couldn't tell what the weather
was g...

Hey, Roy Moore; what's the weather forecast?

Tonight, we'll be dipping into the teens.

Meteorologists have forecast snow throughout the US for the entire year of 2018

Flake news

Musings on Weather Forecasts

If a male meteorologist tells you there'll be 8 inches of snow that means one thing.

But if a female meteorologist tells you there'll be 8 inches of snow that means another.

Uh Oh! Look at the forecast!

It's an Irmagency!

What wasthe white supremacist weatherman's forecast?

Heavy reign, with a chance of heil.

What did the ancient Roman weatherman say when his emperor asked for a forecast?

"Hail, Caesar"

Today's forecast is going to be....

Partially sunny......

The devil asked his resident weatherman what the forecast was for the week ahead...

"Hail, Satan"

Did you hear the weather forecast for the hiphop festival?

...They're calling for a Lil Wayne

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Forecast calls for a heavy downpour of faecal matter

I heard it's going to be a total shit storm

I'm thinking of visiting Saudi Arabia based on the upcoming week's forecast

It's mostly Sunni

How do you get Donald Trump to visit a memorial in the rain?

Tell him the forecasts predict golden showers.

Snow in the forecast...

...and the TV weather gal said she was expecting 8 inches tonight. I thought to myself, "Fat chance, with a face like that!"

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

{Long} The Red Indian chief

just died right before the winter, after ruling for 40 years. His son became the new chief. According to the tradition, to prove his worth as the leader, he has to correctly speculate how cold would be the winter this year. With his guidance, people will gather right amount of wood for the whole win...

The CIA lost track of its operative in Ireland “Murphy. ”

The CIA boss says, “All I can tell you is that his name is Murphy and that he’s somewhere in Ireland. If you think you’ve located him, tell him the code words, “The weather forecast calls for mist in the morning. ” If it’s really him, he’ll answer, “Yes, and for mist at noon as well. ”

So the...

James was walking down the road one morning when he met his friend Danny.

"Morning, Danny. Er ... Danny, you're wearing a glove on one hand and none on the other. Did you know?"

"Yes, well I heard the weather forecast this morning, you see."

"The Weather forecast?"

"Yes, the weather forecast. the forecaster said on the one hand it might be fine but on...

Kylie Jenner just named her newborn baby daughter Stormi

I think the Kardashian family is trying to have a weather forecast for her kids, because it's going to be Stormi in North West Chicago with a chance of Reign.

Donkey weatherman

Once upon a time there was a king who wanted to go fishing. He called the royal weather forecaster and inquired as to the weather forecast for the next few hours. The weatherman assured him that there was no chance of rain in the coming days.
So the king went fishing with his wife, the queen.
...

Farmer meets with Banker annually

The Farmer has to meet with the banker, talk about the crops for the year, talk about grain prices, and try to forecast the year's output to plan out expenses for the year.

When the banker arrives at the farm he notices a very tame and friendly pig, running around as if nothing's wrong, had ...

The Indian Chief thought that it was going to be a bad winter

so he sent all the braves out to collect wood. As he watched them return laden with timber from the forest he suddenly felt that he ought to check his forecast so he phoned the local met office.

"Tell me, is it going to be a bad winter?"

"Yes" said the forecaster " it will be a bad one...

Two English Muslims go on holiday in Spain...

Two English Muslims go on a long holiday in Spain, and they're having a wonderful time until one day the weather turns and it rains for three days straight. On the fourth day, one of them looks out of the window in the morning.

"Ahmed, I think we can visit some of the local buildings today. W...

My favorite bad Christmas joke

Dolf is the weatherman at KTVY, the local CBS affiliate in Kansas City. He's also a closet communist, and has a bit of an anger management problem. During their Christmas Eve broadcast Dolf forecasts a cold and rainy Christmas day, then turns it over to Erin, the anchor he's been dating for the past...