UPJOKE
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I like to give a percentage of my earnings to Charity....

......and other strippers.

Iā€™m a good man. I give about 50% of my earnings to Charity.

Except for when sheā€™s not workingā€¦Then I give it to Destiny.

The UK just passed a law so that corporations have to post earnings statements in public spaces to be accessible, like in parks, metro stations, high-density residential areas...

And the words of the profits are written on the subway walls and tenement halls.

Why did the woman wear condom earnings?

So she wouldnā€™t get hearing aids

Apple better watch its quarterly earnings, its latest iPhone has competition

It's called Charmin Ultra Soft

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The Pentagon said they had too many generals running around

so they wanted to get rid of some of them. To go about this, they decided to offer $10,000 in severance pay for each inch of their body that they wanted measured. The Air Force general went first. He said he wanted to be measured from the top of his head to his toes. He was 69 inches, so he received...

New CEO, 3 envelopes

A new CEO was hired to take over a struggling company. The CEO who was stepping down met with him privately and presented him with three numbered envelopes. ā€œOpen these if you run into serious trouble,ā€ he said.

Well, three months later sales and profits were still way down and the new ...

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