Help! My husband keeps pressuring me to try Alan.

Also, how do I turn off predictive text?

A 16-year old girl enters a church in tears. “Please father, help me”

“What is it my child?”

“Father, I need your help. I’m pregnant.”

The priest sighed. “I understand my child. You have sinned but you are not the first, nor the last. Our Lord is all-forgiving and I’m here to help you through this. But first I need to understand how it happened.”

...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My older sister was constantly pressuring me to have sex

She was incestent

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My girlfriend keeps pressuring me...

My girlfriend keeps pressuring me to have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic.

I told her, "No thanks, we'll do it on my own Accord."

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