UPJOKE

isaac newtondynensir isaac newtonrussellfranciscambridgelincolnwallacesmithcampbellfranklinmooreharrisedwards

Yet here I am. Still single.

A cow was walking. Newton shouted at the cow and it stopped. He formed his first law: “an object continues to move unless it’s stopped”.

Newton gave the cow a forceful kick and it made a sound, ‘MA’. He formed his second law: “force, F = MA”.

The cow gave Newton a forceful kick back. H...

Newton gave the cow a forceful kick and it made a sound, ‘MA’. He formed his second law: “force, F = MA”.

The cow gave Newton a forceful kick back. H...

I told him that Newton was very important for inventing the laws of motion and calculus (which I wish he never had). He still didn't get how important he is in history. I guess he didn't understand the gravity of the situation.

Car roof: *slaps Isaac Newton*

Einstein covers his eyes and begins counting. While Heisenberg and Pascal run off and hide, Newton takes out some chalk and marks a square on the ground, then sits down inside the square.

When Einstein is finished counting and sees Newton sitting on the ground, he yells, "Ha, I've found you, ...

When Einstein is finished counting and sees Newton sitting on the ground, he yells, "Ha, I've found you, ...

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Issac Newton died a Virgin, this means I am one up on biggest scientific genius..

I am not dead yet.

I am not dead yet.

Einstein is bored, so he suggests:

“Let’s play hide-and-seek. I’ll be it!”

The others agree, so Einstein begins counting.

“One… Two… Three…”

Pascal runs off right away to find a place to hide.

But Newton merely takes out a piece of chalk and draws a 1 meter x 1 meter sq...

“Let’s play hide-and-seek. I’ll be it!”

The others agree, so Einstein begins counting.

“One… Two… Three…”

Pascal runs off right away to find a place to hide.

But Newton merely takes out a piece of chalk and draws a 1 meter x 1 meter sq...

Einstein is it, so he closes his eyes and starts to count. Pascal runs off to hide, but Newton doesn't budge. Right in front of Einstein he bends down and scratches a box in the dirt, one meter on a side. The he just stands there, right in the middle of the box.

Einstein opens his eyes and sa...

Einstein opens his eyes and sa...

Isaac Snooton

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Tutti Frutti en route-y!

(Wooooooooo!)

(Wooooooooo!)

Einstein is it, closes his eyes, counts to 10 then opens them.

Pascal is no where to be seen. Newton is sitting right in front of Einstein, with a piece of chalk in his hand. He’s sitting in a square drawn on the ground, a meter to a side.

Einstein says “Newton, you’re terrible, I’ve f...

Pascal is no where to be seen. Newton is sitting right in front of Einstein, with a piece of chalk in his hand. He’s sitting in a square drawn on the ground, a meter to a side.

Einstein says “Newton, you’re terrible, I’ve f...

They both fall to make people study

*drops mic*

But science and math pushed back

She : Listen, im a science student not a law student.

perhaps we ought to abolish gravity.

It would be a weight off his shoulders.

It would be a weight off his shoulders.

The reasom is because he wasn't Abel

"I don't remember the whole line, just the last part"

"Ok tell the last part"

"... and this is called the 1st Law of Newton

"Ok tell the last part"

"... and this is called the 1st Law of Newton

He's going to be an absolute unit!

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The man who discovered gravity didnt even go down

He shakes his fist at the sky and says, "There should be a law!"

All the great scientists throughout history are brought together for a game of hide and seek. They draw straws and Einstein is "it" first. He starts counting back from 100 as all the other great minds run hither and thither looking to hide. Newton runs over to the bushes but Heisenberg is already ...

Einstein starts counting "1...2...3..." and Pascal immediately runs away to hide. Instead of hiding Newton knees down and draws a square of one meter side length. Then he steps inside of it. Einstein finishes counting and turns around. He instantly yells "Newton I have found you!" But Newton replies...

An Apple Store genius.

He had to have been. He proved that F=M, eh.

Because he approached each conversation with too much gravity

He met a girl ,calculated the tangent to her curve.

New, since the concept of weight does not exist in space.

They’re bored, so Einstein suggests they play hide and seek. Einstein starts counting to 10. Pascal runs to find a good hiding spot, Newton on the other hand stays in place. He draws a 1 meter by 1 meter square with chalk on the ground and stands in it. Einstein finished counting, turns around, noti...

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Isaac Newton died a virgin.

Repost.

Repost.

Leibneiz: I've discovered calculus(1670s) Newton: Really? Seems derivative.

For every male action, there is a female overreaction.

I don't know, but they are gonna get ya, one Wayne or another.

But gravity won't let him

... were playing hide and seek. Einstein started counting so Pascal ran off to hide, but Newton simply drew a square on the floor and stepped in it. Einstein shouted "Ha, found you!", to which Newton simply replied "Nope, 1 Newton per square metre, you found Pascal!"

Newton, Pascal and Einstein go to play hide and seek. Einstein became the seeker, so Newton and Pascal ran to find their hiding spots. Einstein finished counting and went to search. He saw Newton still lingering around.

Einstein: "You're it!"

Newton: "No. I am Newton who is upon a 1 m^...

Einstein: "You're it!"

Newton: "No. I am Newton who is upon a 1 m^...

A man called Newton goes to a Chinese restaurant. He orders some fortune cookies. When they arrive, he opens one and sees what's in it. Only one word is written:

*Newton*

Newton raises his eyes in a mixture of confusion and surprise. How the hell did that coincidence happen? Why was hi...

*Newton*

Newton raises his eyes in a mixture of confusion and surprise. How the hell did that coincidence happen? Why was hi...

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Fuck your law of gravity, I am going up.

...Einstein says to Newton, "I've found mathematically that as an object travels faster and faster, it experiences time lower and is squished in the direction parallel to the velocity, when viewed from a stationary perspective."

Newton replies "Interesting. Well, do go on."

Einstein ex...

Newton replies "Interesting. Well, do go on."

Einstein ex...

Isaac Newton: "I'll drop in."

Socrates: "I'll think about it."

Georg Ohm: "I'm resisting the idea."

Robert Boyle: "I'm under too much pressure."

Charles Darwin: "I'll wait to see what evolves."

Pierre and Marie Curie: "We're radiating enthusiasm."

Alessandro...

Socrates: "I'll think about it."

Georg Ohm: "I'm resisting the idea."

Robert Boyle: "I'm under too much pressure."

Charles Darwin: "I'll wait to see what evolves."

Pierre and Marie Curie: "We're radiating enthusiasm."

Alessandro...

Everybody: ma

He could not afford a stand

Everything is better with bacon.

It's Arcimedes' turn to seek and so he starts counting down.

Pascal quickly runs off to some bushes nearby.

Newton starts walking, stops thinks for a while and them draws a large rectangle around himself in the dirt.

The time is up and Archimedes turns around: "Found you, Newton...

Pascal quickly runs off to some bushes nearby.

Newton starts walking, stops thinks for a while and them draws a large rectangle around himself in the dirt.

The time is up and Archimedes turns around: "Found you, Newton...

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How the fuck did he know that I'm gonna die virgin?

Because there are 10 N/cm² in a bar.

They play rock-paper-scissors to choose the seeker. A. Einstein is left so he has to be te seeker. He starts counting down from 10.

Pascal hides in a bush bearby, but Newton remains in plain sight. He draws a square with an area of 1m^2 and stays in it.

Einstein's countdown ends. 3.......

Pascal hides in a bush bearby, but Newton remains in plain sight. He draws a square with an area of 1m^2 and stays in it.

Einstein's countdown ends. 3.......

Einstein volunteered to be “It.” As Einstein counted, eyes closed, to 100, Pascal ran away and hid, but Newton stood right in front of Einstein and drew a one meter by one meter square on the floor around himself. When Einstein opened his eyes, he immediately saw Newton and said “I found you Newton,...

It was Einstein's turn to find them.

Pascal went and hide behind the bushes.

But Newton just stood on a 1M *1M tile..

Einstein came out and shouted "Newton, you are out!"

Newton replied " No, actually you are out, as I am Pascal"

Einstein: "Elaborate..."

"As...

Pascal went and hide behind the bushes.

But Newton just stood on a 1M *1M tile..

Einstein came out and shouted "Newton, you are out!"

Newton replied " No, actually you are out, as I am Pascal"

Einstein: "Elaborate..."

"As...

"Shredded cabbage and carrot make a great salad." - Cole's Law

Gravity Falls

...he would roll over in his grave.

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Well Newton died a lonely virgin so clearly I'm doing something right

Thinly sliced cabbage

"He hit me equally as hard back your honor!"

He said it helped him keep his feet on the ground.

He said: This square covered an area of 1m2. I'm a Newton on 1m2. So I'm Pascal.

I don't know, he just seemed pretty down-to-Earth to me.

He knew better than to drink and derive.

They are both soft and crumble under pressure.

...since an object at rest tends to stay at rest.

Also, because it's too damn early this think about physics.

Also, because it's too damn early this think about physics.

The bar walks into Newton

...when they got pulled over for speeding. However, when the police officer tried to ask them how fast they were going, he couldn't get a straight answer, and the group was so rowdy that they had to be brought in for questioning.

So all 7 of them are taken to the police station, and individua...

So all 7 of them are taken to the police station, and individua...

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They sit down at a table and order drinks, the server tells them it will be a few minutes.

Newton suggests playing a game while they wait.

Pascal says, "how about hide and seek?"

Galileo agrees excitedly, "you two go hide, I will stay here and count to ten."

He closes his ey...

Newton suggests playing a game while they wait.

Pascal says, "how about hide and seek?"

Galileo agrees excitedly, "you two go hide, I will stay here and count to ten."

He closes his ey...

This joke *may* contain profanity. 🤔

All his life he studied the laws of attraction, without understanding the gravity of his situation

A student in bed will remain in bed unless acted upon by a large enough panic

He found the apple was a surprisingly down-to-Earth kinda guy.

It is Einstein's turn to be it. So he covers his eyes and slowly counts to 20.

Tesla climbs up a tree, Pascal jumps behind a bush, and Newton stands right where he is and draws a 1m x 1m square around him.

"...eighteen, nineteen, twenty! Ready or not, here I come!" exclaims Einstein....

Tesla climbs up a tree, Pascal jumps behind a bush, and Newton stands right where he is and draws a 1m x 1m square around him.

"...eighteen, nineteen, twenty! Ready or not, here I come!" exclaims Einstein....

He didn't understand the gravity of the situation.

He went out on a lim.

Newton, a bit annoyed, says "Guys, I don't think you understand the gravity of the situation".

Einstein replies, "I think I do relatively understand it."

On which Darwin says, "Please don't let this evolve into a big fight, aight?"

Einstein replies, "I think I do relatively understand it."

On which Darwin says, "Please don't let this evolve into a big fight, aight?"

...well, I don't. We could've all been flying now if it wasn't for that goddamn apple.

He wanted to test his limits.

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