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Density Jokes

Moore’s law states that the density of transistors doubles every two years.

This is usually done by making them smaller.

Therefore, less is Moore’s

What do you call a wizard who walks everywhere on bare feet, has poor bone density and really bad breath?

A super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

Scientists have discovered the sub-atomic particle that confers density.

They've called it the Moron.

There are two things that determine the spread of coronavirus

1. The density of the population
2. The density of the population

The density of Saturn is so low that the whole planet would float on the water in your bath.

However, you wouldn’t want to try this experiment at home as it would leave a massive ring around the tub.

3 Girls die together, & went to heaven

Saint Peter said, "We have only one simple rule here. Don't step on the turtles, walk carefully"

Girl 1 walks uncautiously and steps on a turtle.
Saint peter - what have you done? We are going to give you one of the worst punishments.
Girl 1 - It was by mistake, just give me one exc...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I met a stripper with dyslexia

Her name was Density.

The UK just passed a law so that corporations have to post earnings statements in public spaces to be accessible, like in parks, metro stations, high-density residential areas...

And the words of the profits are written on the subway walls and tenement halls.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I recently moved into an apartment building from a house.

The neighbors came knocking at the door at 2am, are all high density living situations full of assholes.

Anyway, it totally interupted my drum lesson.

Which city has the largest population?

Density.

A physicist tries betting on horse races

The physicist could not get any job, so he decided to bet on horse races to make a living. He did intensive experimentation, and used state of the art machine learning algorithms to gain more insight. After filling many notebooks and accumulating a very large amount of data, he exclaims "I have the ...

Some people call Americans grossly obese

>!We prefer to refer to it as ’Manifest Density’!<

The Milky Way experienced a cosmic fender-bender with a dwarf galaxy 500 million years ago.

It was the ultimate slow-down of ultimate density.

What do you call an American's God-given right to fast food?

Manifest Density

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Fisherman

An esteemed researcher in the field of physiology of human sexuality is giving a lecture at the public library on a rainy Tuesday night.

He is explaining the density of nerve endings and his research on the female orgasm.

“While the majority of women experience clitoral orgasm due the...

A joke from George Carlin,tucked away because of 9/11

The most striking thing about the show is that Carlin made a joke about Osama bin Laden and an exploding airplane. In a fashion typical of the comedian, who always passed easily between the corporeal and the sublime, it started as a fart joke. “These planes get flying so fast that all the most vicio...

What do creationists and neutron stars have in common?

Density

A Mathematician, A Physicist and A Chemist were on a Beach

They decided to put their expertise to use and conduct some research. The Math man said, "I'll jump into the water and measure the depth of the ocean." The Physicist said, "I will go and examine the density of the water at various depths." The Chemist said, "I will use the data you both collect and ...

My dad told me this a couple of days back: Three professors walk into a seaside bar.

The first, a maths professor, wishes to make a name for himself and says to the other two, "I'm gonna figure out the depth of the sea."

Saying that, he walks out. The physics professor, unwilling to be outshined, proclaims "Well I'll find out what the density of the sea actually is and catch ...

So I was making this image...

There's this cat, and he's trying to find out how much cheese there is in a gyro. He knows its radius and length, but he asks "I can haz cheez density?"

Yeah, I know, it's not very funny.

I should probably stop using math and feta memes.

A woman's doctor prescribes her testosterone

...for better bone density, libido, and mood. The woman is a bit dubious, but readily follows the doctor's orders.

A few days later, the doctor gets a call from the woman. "How are you feeling, Mrs. Smith?" he asks.

She replies, "Oh, just wonderful. I am noticing a positive change on t...

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