Atmosphere Jokes

One's meaty, but the other is a little meteor.

Spastries

what the hail was that?!

As he entered the atmosphere he became a little meteor.

Because they appear out of thin air.

They said it lacked atmosphere.

Monkeys were an obvious choice, but they had no patience. Mice chewed all the cables, dogs were too stupid and chickens were always scared. It seemed the only animal that could cope with the intense stress of space travel was a chilled out alley cat.

After a few months of testing and training... read more

Great, now everyone thinks the French were the first...

Sounds like a great idea, until all the Martians start dying from carbon monoxide poisoning.

It had great food, but no atmosphere.

A lot of side-eye

is such a first world problem.

With 0.2 pounds per square inch left over.

Probably pterofied.

Flair Witch Project.

I've heard Mars has no atmosphere, can we create an atmosphere by dimming the lights and playing smooth jazz?

He's an ex-tractor fan.

the American flag we planted there has lost its color and is now completely white. We need go up there and change it. Because we don't want anyone thinking the French beat us to the moon.

It Torah hole in the atmosphere!

The spacebar

And you know I’ve been to a couple spacebars before, they’re all exactly the same. Great food, no atmosphere.

An air conditioner.

Early critics say the food is good, but there's no atmosphere.

The Indian government have said, the moon mission has been so successful, and have opened 4 corner shop stores and 3 Deli restaurants.. The food is good but there is no atmosphere.

He heard it had no atmosphere!

The atmosphere was a tad light.

Because they go from at no fear to atmosphere!

"Whoa, there is 100 000 of us!"

The bartender sighs:

"Yeah, but back in the day, there used to be a different standard. This place used to have atmosphere..."

They would have no atmosphere

But sadly there was no atmosphere on opening night.

Wait wait stop, if you are going to say it had no atmosphere, I am going to kill you.

No, I was going to say everyone died.

What? How?

Because there is no atmosphere on the moon.

Cuz there is no atmosphere!

So he goes to his travel agent to get some recommendations. God asks the agent where he should go and the agent says, "How about the Moon? It's supposed to be all the rage right now."

God thinks about it and says, "No... I'd like to go somewhere with a little more atmosphere."

So the a... read more

On the bridge there was a hobo sitting and shaking his cup. As they were walking past, the rich man wasn't keeping an eye on his daughter, who was playing with the bars of the railing and she slipped through and fell in. Not knowing how to swim himself, the man shouted for help. Without saying a wor... read more

So as not to disturb the soba atmosphere.

roll up both ends of your tie and ask, "Which end do you think's gonna unfurl the fastest?"

After they make their guess (or sarcastic remark)--pause for effect--create the atmosphere-- and let them drop!

They'll look at the tie first, then slowly pan up to your goofy grin..

and ... read more

Four friends in their 20s go to a new restaurant, Sands, because they've never been there before.

10 years later, they reunite and go back because the waitresses were so pretty.

In their 40s, they decide to go again because of the amazing wine selection.

Another 10 years pass an... read more

One says to the other, "Let's bounce, this place has no atmosphere"

There's never any atmosphere.

A Russian cosmonaut has an emergency during his reentry into earth's atmosphere and his space craft crash lands in the Australian bush, way out in the middle of nowhere. After what seems like an eternity, he wakes up in a bush hospital clinic, very rustic, dirty, with foul smells and he is really ba... read more

Me: Well I kinda like the air pollution, it adds to the atmosphere.

1. What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back?
Answer = A stick.

2. What does a cloud wear under his raincoat?
Answer = Thunderwear.

3. Two pickles fell out of a jar onto the floor. What did one say to the other?
Answer = Dill with it.

4. What time is it when the... read more

Maybe because they have a grave atmosphere




~~i am not sorry~~

I thought that they created atmosphere.

Carl, a man with Alzheimer’s, goes out to a nice restaurant with his wife. The next day his friend Adam comes to visit him.

Carl: We went to an amazing restaurant last night, everything was perfect. The food, the atmosphere, the service, it was all unbelievably good!

Adam: Really? What... read more

A man walks into a fancy 5-star restaurant.

The host says to him: " Good evening sir. Do you have a reservation?"

The man replies : "Yes, actually."

The host asks: "Name?"

And the man replies: " Nah, the name is ok. It's just the atmosphere."

No atmosphere..

I had posters of them up on my walls, dozens of toy tractors I used to play with; I remember one year my parents surprised me for my birthday with a big cake in the shape of a tractor. They were an obsession.

As I grew older, I started to notice girls and put more thought into my studies, and... read more

No atmosphere

A dead baby doesn't harm the atmosphere when you burn it.

Just as he's about to start shutting down the bar and sending his staff home, the doors are flung open and a huge crowd of people flood inside. They're all singing and dancing, clearly in a celebratory mood, and it's all the bar staff can do to keep the beers flowing as the party atmosphere hits ful... read more

I said, "I do my best work at one atmosphere."

Did you ever hear about the water in the atmosphere that tried to break the rules of condensation?

It wasn't a cloud.