What do you call dough-based dessert items outside of a planet's atmosphere?

Spastries

Can you just imagine how pterosaurs felt seeing that meteor entering the earths atmosphere?

Probably pterofied.

I've heard Mars has no atmosphere...

I've heard Mars has no atmosphere, can we create an atmosphere by dimming the lights and playing smooth jazz?

Did you know about the restaurant on the moon?

The food is great, but it had no atmosphere.

There is a hostile atmosphere in the Picasso exhibit

A lot of side-eye

A man was recruited for a space colony

He had been posted to a planet 14 lightyears from Sol. As his ship landed on the planet's glowing surface, he saw a car waiting for him.

"Welcome to Anti-Earth," The driver said, "don't worry we are going to change the name soon. I am here to take you to your quarters and show you the colony ...

I read about a new restaurant that opened up at the moon

the food is out of this world but theres zero atmosphere

At a crowded garden party.

So, a couple years back, I was at a pretty fancy outdoors party. It seemed like the whole town was there. But the atmosphere was nice, and the local band played some good music, so I enjoyed myself.

I thought I'd like a nice cold beer in the warm weather, so I went over to the bar. As I appro...

Have you heard about the restoran on the moon? The food was good but-

Wait wait stop, if you are going to say it had no atmosphere, I am going to kill you.

No, I was going to say everyone died.

What? How?

Because there is no atmosphere on the moon.

The carbon dioxide levels in our atmosphere are now higher than they’ve ever been, but there are ways that we can reduce that number by half.

Divide it by 2.

Due to the non existent atmosphere on the moon, the american flag is by now completely white.

Great, now everyone thinks the French were the first...

An atmosphere walks into a bar

With 0.2 pounds per square inch left over.

Why are moon parties so damn boring?

Cuz there is no atmosphere!

Little Johnny decided to prepare ahead of the next day's lesson on fractions,

so he approached his father. His partly sober dad took his time to help Johnny using all the illustrations he could lay his hand upon.

The next day, after noticing how bright and happily Johnny appeared, the teacher tried to direct some questions to him.

Teacher: "What's 1/8 + 1/8?"...

What do you call an appliance that brainwashes the atmosphere?

An air conditioner.

Girlfriend: At least with the quarantine, the air pollution levels are down

Me: Well I kinda like the air pollution, it adds to the atmosphere.

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Space sex

SpaceX delayed again as atmosphere declares that they, "are tired, has had a long day, and a astronomical headache".

A man walks into a 5-star restaurant...

A man walks into a fancy 5-star restaurant.

The host says to him: " Good evening sir. Do you have a reservation?"

The man replies : "Yes, actually."

The host asks: "Name?"

And the man replies: " Nah, the name is ok. It's just the atmosphere."

Need some help creating fake certifications

Apologies if this isn't a good sub to post a request like this. Happy to pull it down.

My coworker has been taking a lot of short online certification courses. Every day he finishes a new course, prints out the certificate of completion and proudly hangs the certificate up on his wall. He's ...

Small talk

The year is 2097. In the midst of a nuclear war, two babies are sent from Earth in a pod to an empty SpaceX bunker on Mars in the hopes they will survive and continue the human race.

After years in isolation and with packaged food becoming scarce, the young humans decided to venture out onto ...

I saw a 1 star review for Mars on Yelp

They said it lacked atmosphere.

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During sex im like a high energy photon hitting the Earth's atmosphere...

I come fast and dont penetrate very far! ... ayyyyy!

Funerals are always so sad

Maybe because they have a grave atmosphere




~~i am not sorry~~

I heard that because the moon has no atmosphere...

the American flag we planted there has lost its color and is now completely white. We need go up there and change it. Because we don't want anyone thinking the French beat us to the moon.

what did the cloud say to the atmosphere?

what the hail was that?!

[long] My company is locked down and I am required to work from home

I'm used to working in an open office space so this is a huge change for me. In order to make the transition as easy as possible, I have prepared my home office so remind me of work.

* I've purchased a piece of Limburger cheese and placed it on a plate in the middle of the room to remind me o...

What would you call Neil Armstrong had he burnt up in the atmosphere returning to earth instead of landing safely?

An unfortu-naut...
God that was horrible....

Nasa was experimenting with different animals in space.

Monkeys were an obvious choice, but they had no patience. Mice chewed all the cables, dogs were too stupid and chickens were always scared. It seemed the only animal that could cope with the intense stress of space travel was a chilled out alley cat.

After a few months of testing and training...

A guy was stranded on a desert island with only a pig and a dog.

Several months went by and he was feeling the pangs of having no female companionship. He started looking at the pig and thought, "hmm, not bad." So, he started making a move on the pig, but each time he did the dog would bark and growl ferociously and pull him off. Every day went by and he'd try to...

A guy, a pig, and a dog were the only survivors of a terrible shipwreck.

They found themselves stranded on a desert island. After being there for a few weeks, they got into a ritual of going to the beach every evening to watch the sun go down.

One particular evening, the sky was red with beautiful cirrus clouds, and the breeze was warm and gentle. It was a perfect...

Did you hear they built a nightclub on the moon?

It's a far out location, but it lacks atmosphere.

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A guy was recruited for the first settlement on another planet....

The Settlement Chief met him on the landing site.

"This place is going to take some getting used to. It's like a mirror version of Earth. The elements which are rare on Earth are the most abundant here while the common elements are extremely rare."

"So why are we here then," the guy a...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I won a trip to a Party in Space.

The food and beer was good.

The atmosphere was Crap.

For the 50th anniversary of the moon landing, they're building a restaurant up there.

The food is good, but there's no atmosphere.

Saw a good one earlier and got inspired to do something similar

I'll give it try. Since this is my first ever post on this sub, I hope you guys let me down easy.


One day, Larry walked past a TV store. On the screen of the fattest flat-screen TV, a national news-broadcast was running a story about an object from outer space on a collision course with E...

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A trucker is driving down a random stretch of highway

He happens upon a billboard while driving that reads...

Peaches, engineered for your taste!
Only 10 miles!

Mildly intrigued, the driver decides to check out what this means. "Engineered for my tastes, what bullshit!", he says.

Driving for the next couple miles, he final...

My wife left me because she said I kept leaving oxygen tanks around the house.

I thought that they created atmosphere.

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Going to the bar for the first time

So I went into the bar and was very nervous, I'm young and never experienced this atmosphere before. I'm trying to talk to all these ladies but none of my pick up lines are working, all my buddies have their girls they picked up and they're all dancing. I'm in the bar all alone and this beautiful bl...

I was once asked in a job interview if I could perform under pressure.

I said, "I do my best work at one atmosphere."

The flea jumping competition begins

Fleas from all over the country have gathered here today to take part in the contest. Expect an incredible show.

=

Team 1 from Muts-4-homes Animal Shelter take the stage.

=

The team lines up on the platform...

=

6 --
5 --
...

Why are restaurants on the moon always so mediocre?

There's never any atmosphere.

God decides to take a vacation...

So he goes to his travel agent to get some recommendations. God asks the agent where he should go and the agent says, "How about the Moon? It's supposed to be all the rage right now."

God thinks about it and says, "No... I'd like to go somewhere with a little more atmosphere."

So the a...

I went to a restaurant on the summit of Mt. Everest.

I give it 3 stars. Food was good, not much atmosphere though.

John was an Astronaut...

John was an astronaut scheduled to fly on his first mission to the International Space Station. The media frenzy surrounding the launch was maddening. Everywhere John went, the media followed him.

He would part the curtains at his home in the morning, and the media was out there peering in, t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An airline joke my 83 YO dad sent me . Slightly NSFW

Dear Airlines:

Dump the male flight Attendants. No one wanted them in the first place.

Replace all the female flight attendants with YOUNG good-looking strippers! What the hell!! They don't even serve food anymore, so what's the loss?

The strippers would at least triple the a...

Tax.

Suppose that every day, ten men go out for beer and the bill for all ten comes to £100...
If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this...

The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing.
The fifth would pay £1.
The sixth would pay £3.
The se...

A rich man was strolling along a riverside with his 6 year old daughter and they came to a bridge...

On the bridge there was a hobo sitting and shaking his cup. As they were walking past, the rich man wasn't keeping an eye on his daughter, who was playing with the bars of the railing and she slipped through and fell in. Not knowing how to swim himself, the man shouted for help. Without saying a wor...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Dad, is Santa real?

There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in the world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu, Jewish or Buddhist (except maybe in Japan) religions, this reduces the workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million (according to the popul...

Ghoul in the Pub (Credit to Paul Sloane & Des MacHale)

Bill, a tourist in Devon, spends the day sightseeing, then decides to finish the day at a pub in a nearby village. He gets absorbed in the rustic atmosphere, but in the midst of drinking a Guinness, he notices what appears to be a ghoul drinking from a small green bottle, across the room. This perso...

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I bought a parrot at an auction...

I bought a parrot at an auction, hoping that a companion might help me get through some tough times. The car ride home, the parrot had been quiet and an uneasy tension was building. Throughout the first night, my parrot remained quiet, but the next morning, I awoke to a machine-gun sequence of swe...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why is so difficult to have sex in outer space?

No atmosphere

Mr Bean and Einstein in a flight together.

Einstein: Hey Mr Bean, let's play a game. I would ask you a question. If you can't answer it, you will have to give me ten dollars. You ask me a question and if I can't answer it I would give you a thousand dollars.

Bean: Okay, we can play that.

Einstein: What's the percentage of Nitro...

4 friends in their 20s....

Four friends in their 20s go to a new restaurant, Sands, because they've never been there before.

10 years later, they reunite and go back because the waitresses were so pretty.

In their 40s, they decide to go again because of the amazing wine selection.

Another 10 years pass an...

Doug was playing poker with some friends

As the night went on, he noticed the mood at the table was getting tense, so he decided to lighten the atmosphere a bit. As the next round started, and everyone else put their ante chips in, Doug reached into the snack tray and tossed a handful of potato chips into the pot.

"What the hell are...

Whats wrong with the Bar on the Moon?

It doesn't have any atmosphere

So two astronauts walk into a club on the moon...

One says to the other, "Let's bounce, this place has no atmosphere"

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Proof that Santa doesn’t exists

There are about 2 billion children on earth. But Santa does not have to visit Muslims, Hindus, Jews or Buddhists, which reduces the number to 15% or 378 million. Thus, with a world average of 3.5 children per household, there are 108 million households to visit if we can assume that there are at le...

A German man went to London

While there, he decided to take in the atmosphere of the Great British Pub, and got talking with one of the patrons.

“So, where in Germany are you from?” he asked, after a couple of beers.

“Dresden,” the German man replied.

“Ah, Dresden! My father used to fly there three times a...

What's the worst part about parties in space?

No atmosphere

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